Weeding Out The Dumb Ones

| South Dakota, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Top

(We are a fair trade store and, as such, sell items such as incense and incense burners. We are sometimes mistaken for a “head shop”. We also rent kayaks in the summer.)

Customer: *looking over his shoulder a few times* “Where is your ‘special merchandise?'”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “You know…” *winks* “…your ‘back room stuff.'”

Me: “Sir, we don’t have anything in a back room. All of our stock is out on the floor.”

Customer: *pointing to the kayak storage room* “Then, what’s in there?”

Me: “That’s our kayak room.”

Customer: *knowing look* “Oh…your ‘kayak room’. Can I see your ‘kayak room?'”

Me: “Sure!”

(He walks back, opens the door, walks in. I can hear him moving things around for a few minutes before he returns with a confused look on his face.)

Customer: “There’s kayaks in there!”

Me: “Yep.”

Customer: “Where’s the weed?”

Me: “Bye, now!”

Something Smells Fishy, Part 2

| Canton, MI, USA | Pets & Animals

(I’m working in the pet department, cleaning out the dead fish in the tanks. A small girl, probably about 5 or 6, approaches me.)

Girl: “Are you taking care of the fish?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Girl: *noticing the dead fish* “There’s a dead fish in there!”

Me: “Yeah, I’m taking care of the dead fish.”

Girl: “What are you doing with the dead fish?!”

Me: “No, I’m—”

Girl: “STOP KILLING ALL THE FISHES!”

(Thankfully, the mother comes and grabs her, apologizes profusely, and quickly walks away.)

Related:
Something Smells Fishy

A New Dimension Of Stupidity, Part 2

| Portsmouth, UK | Math & Science

(I’m makeup artist on a counter in a large department store. Although I don’t have anything to do with the department store, lots of customers approach me for help, and I’m usually able to assist.)

Customer: “Excuse me, do you sell the Nintendo 3DS?”

Me: “We don’t in store, but I can order one for you.”

Customer: “You know, I wish everything was in 3D. The world would be so much more interesting!”

Me: “Ma’am, everything is in 3D, including yourself.”

Customer: “Whatever. Airheaded bimbo!” *storms off*

Related:
Get A Life
A New Dimension Of Stupidity

Clothing That Just Takes Control

| Miami, FL, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(Note: I work at a charity that accepts donations.)

Customer: *quite loudly* “Where can I leave my domination clothing?”

Me: *stares shocked*

Customer: “That’s the wrong word, isn’t it?”

Just Mildly Stupid

, | Rochester, New York, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m taking a phone call for the pizzeria I work at. Everything is going fairly normal until the customer places an order for wings.)

Me: “Okay, would you like you boneless wings or traditional wings?”

Customer: “What’s the difference?”

Me: “Well, traditional wings are bone-in and boneless wings don’t have bones in them.”

Customer: “Whatever, I just want them mild.”

Me: “Okay, would you like that in our mild BBQ or mild buffalo sauce?”

Customer: “No, just mild.”

Me: “We carry a mild BBQ and a mild buffalo. Which could I get for you tonight?”

Customer: “No! I just want your traditional mild!”

Me: “Okay, that’s one order of mild buffalo–”

Customer: “NO! Just MILD!”

Page 1,807/2,992First...1,8051,8061,8071,8081,809...Last