This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 21

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Money

Me: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I need a $500 money order.”

Me: “Okay. It’s $501.20.”

Customer: *hands over $7 cash*

Me: “You’re still $494.20 short.”

Customer: “What? What do you mean?”

Me: “We need $500, plus $1.20 for processing the money order.”

Customer: “This isn’t enough?”

Me: “Sorry, a $500 money order costs $500.”

Customer: “Oh. I didn’t know that.”

Related:
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 20
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 19
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 18
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 17
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 16
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 15
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 14
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 13
This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 12

A Nasty Mood Swing

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I am a cashier at a home improvement store. A customer comes to my register pushing a cart with several heavy items in it.)

Me: “Hi there, how are you today?”

Customer: “Oh, just fine, thank you!”

(We make small talk as I ring the customer up. She has been perfectly nice so far.)

Me: “Do you want a hand loading your stuff?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you. It was hard to get these in the cart!”

Me: “Sure thing! I’ll page for one of the loaders. He’ll be right over.”

(As I finish running the customer’s credit card through and hand her the receipt, she says something, but she mumbles and I don’t quite hear her.)

Me: “Sorry, say again?”

(The customer’s demeanor instantly changes from pleasant to furious.)

Customer: “I SAID, Should I wait for the loading man HERE? Or I should I go and wait by the DOOR?”

(I’m baffled by the mood swing, but I smile and put on my best cheerful voice.)

Me: “Oh, it doesn’t matter! He’ll be here in just a minute and there’s no line, so you can wait right here if you don’t want to push the cart over to the door.”

Customer: “Did I do something to you? Have I insulted you or your family?”

Me: “Not… that I’m aware of…?”

Customer: “I just asked a question and you’re being so NASTY to me! I don’t know why you had to be so rude just to answer my question!”

Me: “I’m not being rude. I’m being matter-of-fact. It doesn’t matter if you wait right here or if you wait by the—”

Customer: “You are so NASTY!”

(The loading guy appears.)

Loading Guy: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes! You can take my things to my car and get me AWAY from this girl! She is so NASTY, I don’t know how you stand her!”

(The loading guy shoots me a bewildered look, and walks out with the customer, who is still shouting about how nasty I am. He comes back in a couple minutes later.)

Loading Guy: “What the f*** was that?”

Me: “H*** if I know. I’m so glad I’m off tomorrow.”

Magic-Touch-Phone

| Australia | Health & Body, Religion, Technology

Customer: “I want to return this phone; it won’t turn on.”

(I turn on the phone, and it works perfectly.)

Me: “Hmm, seems to be turning on just fine.”

Customer: “I’ve been doing that all yesterday, and it didn’t work! You must have magic hands or something.”

Me: “That’s the only explanation I can think of. I should use my powers for good and go out and use my magic touch to heal things like leprosy.”

Lady: *in all seriousness* “Oh no, I don’t have that.”