Stark Raving Mad

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Geeks Rule, Movies & TV

(An older customer walks in very quickly and glares at me.)

Me: “Good morning!”

Customer:What does ‘winter is coming’ mean?!”

(The customer is referring to our ‘Game Of Thrones’ themed red-wine window.)

Me: “Oh! It’s the tagline, sort of, to a very popular series of books and TV show.”

Customer: “Well, you should be shot in the head with a small derringer. It should read, ‘autumn is here, winter is near.'”

Me: “Well, it’s a pop culture reference and has been very successful for us. I’m not sure what your intention is, coming in here and telling me I should be shot.”

Customer: “WELL DO YOU ONLY SELL WINE TO TRENDY PEOPLE?! I OWN AN ADVERTISING AGENCY! I’M TRYING TO HELP YOU!” *storms out*

Sea Of Electricity

| NV, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

(I’m handing out inner tubes for a popular water slide. Several young men come up; one of them has a tattoo on his side that makes it look like his skin is peeling away to reveal mechanical inner workings. Shortly after they get in line, two little girls come up. They stare at the tattooed man for a few moments, and then one taps him on the leg.)

Girl #1: “Are you sure you can go in the water?”

Tattooed Man: “Uh… I’m sure I’ll be fine.”

Girl #1: “But what about that?” *points to his tattoo* “My mommy says electric stuff can’t get wet.”

Tattooed Man: *grinning* “Oh, don’t worry. I’m an underwater explorer robot. I’m built for that stuff.”

Girl #2: “So you won’t break? Even if you get water all inside you?”

Tattooed Man: “Nope!”

Girls #1 & #2: *gaping at him* “Wow…”

Worshiping A Vengeful God

| Waco, TX, USA | Money, Movies & TV, Religion

(At our theater, matinee ends at 6 pm, and 3D movies cost $2.50 more than regular ones. It’s about 5:50 pm and I’m selling tickets for a 6pm showing.)

Customer: “Well, I’d like two for The Avengers.”

Me: “Alright, the 6 pm is in 3D; is that okay?”

Customer: “Yes, that’s why we’re watching the 6 pm one!”

Me: “Fantastic. Any student or military IDs for a discount today?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Well, for two tickets that’s $19.”

Customer: “FOR TWO TICKETS? That’s ridiculous! I thought this place was supposed to be cheap; what am I even paying for?”

(I’ve zoned out, and just grab his glasses when his wife cuts in.)

Customer’s Wife: *over her still-ranting husband* “Ignore him. He’s had a bad day. Here’s a twenty.”

(I finish their transaction and someone walks up to them and greets the man.)

Other Customer: “Oh, hey Pastor!”