The Fine Art Of Peevesdropping

| Oshkosh, WI, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: My coworker is my friend, and we usually pick on each other in good fun.)

Me, to coworker: “Your shirt is all wrinkled! Maybe you should show up to work looking decent!”

Mistakenly overhearing customer: “Well, maybe you should shove it!”

Tall Tales Vs. Turning Tail

| Florida, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a visitor’s center on a refuge, which is by a large pond. As this is Florida, we naturally have alligators. A visitor approaches the help desk.)

Visitor: “You have a fake alligator outside!”

Coworker: “No, sir. It’s real.”

Visitor: “There’s no way that’s real!”

Coworker: “Sir, all our gators are real.”

Visitor: “I’ll prove it!”

(My coworker follows the visitor outside. Suddenly, the visitor goes up to an alligator resting along the side of the pond and grabs it by the tail.)

Alligator: *dives into the water*

Visitor: *face goes white*

Downgraded Membership

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: I’m 19 and go to college.)

Customer: “Oh, I think you have class with my daughter, Kayla.”

Me: “I don’t think I know her. What year is she?”

Customer: “10th.”

Me: “Huh?”

Customer: “10th grade.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m in college.”

Customer: “Sure you are, sweetie.” *winks*

Whipped For The Cream

| MD, USA | Top

(A male customer comes into my cafe and spends five minutes staring at the baked goods before finally coming up to order.)

Customer: “Well, there’s no manly way to say this: I want a cream puff.”

Her Banking Days Are Numbered

| OH, USA | Uncategorized

Caller: “Why does the automated system say it can’t find my card!? I’ve been complaining about this for months now, and I’m really disappointed it isn’t fixed!”

Me: “Sorry to hear that. Let me see what I can find. Can I have your card number, please?”

(The caller reads off 12 numbers.)

Me: “And the last 4?”

Caller: “Oh! You need all 16? Do you suppose that’s why it couldn’t find my account?”