Aisle Never Stop Answering You

| USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a small card shop in a mall. It’s rather cramped and the aisles are difficult to navigate if there are many people in the store. Small note: There are two phones in the store; one in the office, one near the registers.)

Manager: “[Me], will you please put these cards back in their pockets?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I begin to walk to the proper space when an older customer stops me, smiling.)

Customer: “NOW what are you going to do?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “What happens if the phone rings and you can’t get past me to get it? Do you just let it ring?”

Me: “No, there is a phone near the registers.”

Customer: “What? Nuh-uh. There can’t be one up there!”

Me: “I believe there is still a phone up there, sir.”

Customer: “Prove it! Show me!”

(I take the customer up to the registers and show him there is indeed another phone.)

Customer: “You smart alec! Why do you need two phones in a small store?!”

Me: “In case the store is full and we can’t reach the other in time.”

Customer: *quickly exits the store, defeated*

Manager: “What the heck just happened?!”

R-E-S-P-E-C-T, Part 2

| New York, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Top, Wild & Unruly

(A mother and her two young children (both 4 or 5 years old) come through my checkout line. The mother is on her phone, totally oblivious to her children, who are running around and pulling on my apron strings. We have a spinning carousel with which to bag purchases; as I bag, the children begin spinning it around.)

Me: “No, no, sweetie… please don’t do that. I’m trying to bag.”

(Both children ignore me and keep spinning, and as a result I get hit by the carousel.)

Me: *in pain* “Sweetheart, please don’t do that.”

(The children continue to ignore me, so I put my knee on it so they can no longer spin it.)

Me: “Please don’t.” *to the mother* “Ma’am?”

Mother: *waves me off*

(I have to lift a 24-pack of water, so I remove my knee from the carrousel. As expected, the children take this opportunity to spin it as hard as possible. I set the water down and stop the carousel.)

Me: “Excuse me! When a grown up asks you to stop, you stop. This can hurt you if you get close, and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

Mother: “B****! Don’t tell my kids what to do!”

Me: “Ma’am, I asked them and I asked you to stop spinning the carrousel. Someone could get hurt.”

Mother: “That’s bulls***!”

(At this point, an elderly woman who has been waiting in line speaks up in my defense.)

Elderly Woman: “Miss, you keep on bagging. This little hussy here should learn to watch her children, and if she can’t, then she shouldn’t have had them!” *to the mother* “In my day, you would be nice to the people at the register! Now, get off the phone and show some respect, because without nice young girls like this you’d never get your groceries and your kids would probably be bleeding on the floor while you’re on the phone too busy to care! What have you to say for yourself?!”

(The mother was completely speechless and had nothing to say in her defense. Instead, she paid for her stuff and left as quickly as possible!)

Related:
R-E-S-P-E-C-T

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Burn The Other Cheek

| Valley Stream, NY, USA | Religion, Wild & Unruly

Me: “Good morning, sir. Would you like to purchase our protection plan on this?”

Customer #1: *very thick Jamaican accent* “Nah, your coworker explained that. I don’t want it.”

Me: “Alright, sir.”

(I proceed to remove the anti-theft device and scan the GPS.)

Customer #1: “Does this…”

(The rest of the question is so garbled by his accent that I can not make it out.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir… could you repeat that?”

(My coworker, who by chance is also from Jamaica, jumps in and answers the customer’s question. After about 30 seconds of discussion between the two, it’s clear the customer still has some unresolved questions, and since I am the only register open a line has been forming. I interrupt their conversation briefly.)

Me: “Excuse me, I’m just going to suspend this transaction so I can take the next customer. As soon as you’re ready, I’ll finish up for you.”

Customer #1: “Okay.” *continues asking my coworker questions*

Me: *calling out* “Next, please!”

Customer #1: “YOU BIGOT!”

(Suddenly, Customer #1 throws the GPS at me, hard enough to crack the plastic clamshell case it’s in and giving me a small cut on my arm. He then storms out of the store. My coworker and I look at each other, confused, as the next customer, Customer #2, walks up to my register. Customer #2 is a middle-aged woman with a similar Jamaican accent. She is wearing a church t-shirt.)

Customer #2: “That man was so rude to you for no reason.”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I really have no idea why he called me a bigot.”

Customer #2: “A good Christian should be kind. People like that should just die and rot in H***!”

Breaking Bread Can Break You Up

, | Maine, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

(A couple comes in and races up to the sandwich unit.)

Woman: “Hi, we only need one sandwich for our kid. I’m gonna make it quick, I promise. He wants a six inch white—”

Man: “No, he doesn’t. He wants flatbread.”

Woman: “No, he wants white!”

Man: “Flatbread!”

Woman: “Shut up, I know what he wants!”

Man: “No, you don’t! He won’t eat white bread!”

Woman: *sighs* “Is there any way I can get the sandwich on a flatbread, but put white bread on the side? I know I’m right, and he hates flatbreads.”

Me: “Yes, of course. It’s just costs a bit extra.”

Woman: “Okay, so turkey and cheddar cheese.”

Man: *shakes his head* “He likes American.”

Woman: “No, he doesn’t!”

Man: “Yes, he does!”

Woman: “Shut up! You’re confusing people!”

Me: “Would you like me to put some American on the side?”

Woman: “No! He HATES American, so there’s no point. Besides, he wants it toasted.”

Man: “Finally! Something right!”

Woman: “Right, so toasted with olives and mustard, and that’s it.”

Man: “He wants lettuce, too.”

Woman: “Fine, s***! Put lettuce on there and when he won’t eat it. Whatever!”

Me: “…Anything else?”

Woman: “No. HE’S probably confusing you already.”

Man: “YOU’RE the confusing one.”

(I ring them up and they calm down as they get ready to leave.)

Woman: “Thanks, sorry about that. We didn’t mean to confuse you!”

Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 9

| Charlotte, NC, USA | Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [store name and location]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what time you closed? I need to bring in my computer monitor and exchange it for a new one.”

Me: “We close at nine. If you don’t mind my asking, why do you need to exchange yours, ma’am? I may be able to help and save you the trip.”

Customer: “Well, I saw that you all sold those wireless monitors and was going to get one but they’re so expensive. So I just decided to make mine a wireless one instead. But I guess I must have done it wrong because now it won’t work.”

Me: “You… tried to make your monitor into a wireless one? How?”

Customer: “Oh, I just cut the cord that was dangling out of it. Like I said, I must have cut it wrong though. So I need a new one.”

Me: “I… see. Well, um, ma’am, I’m sorry to tell you this, but, well, I can’t just give you a new monitor because you destroyed your old one.”

Customer: “Really? Well. We’ll just see about that, won’t we? I’m going to come in and speak to your manager. Then we’ll see who does what for whom!”

(She came in with her self-destroyed monitor, and no, she didn’t get a new one!)

Related:
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 8
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 7
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 6
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 5
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 4
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 3
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless, Part 2
Wireless, Clueless & Hopeless

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