Wake Up And Hell The Coffee

| Gloucestershire, England, UK | Food & Drink, Religion

(I’m working the Sunday morning shift in the cafe in the middle of winter. Our cafe is opposite the church.)

Customer: *comes in from the church, shivering*

Me: “You look cold.”

Customer: “Oh, the church central heating is broken again, and the vicar went on and on and on. You’d think he’d have thought to have let us out early when it’s this cold.”

Me: “Well, what can I get you to warm you up?”

Customer: “A large latte please…” *perks up suddenly* “…and make it evil, evil, EVIL hot!”

Holy Smoky Mountains, Batman

| St. Louis, MO, USA | Family & Kids

(I’m working the register of a small toy store when a family walks in with a two-year-old boy in a stroller and his older brother (who’s about eight) walking alongside it. They walk past our new “Dark Knight Rises” merchandise.)

2-year-old Brother: *holds his arms out* “I WANNA BE BATMAN! I WANNA BE BATMAN!”

Me: *smiling* “We all want to be Batman.”

8-year-old Brother: “Batman’s real where I come from!”

Me: “Oh, are you from Gotham City?”

8-year-old Brother: “No, Tennessee!”

They Won’t Move A Muscle, Although They Can Move You To Tears

| Virginia, USA | Uncategorized

(We have an aisle at our grocery store that is split down the middle by food displays, making two very narrow aisles on the sides. One aisle is blocked by my coworker, who is busy is explaining to several customers how to tell if food is safe since we just lost power after a large storm. The other aisle is blocked by another customer looking at the labels of juice bottles. I am trying to get down the aisle and excuse myself past the customer.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t have to be the one to move. I’m the customer! He should have to move.”

Me: “Oh, well I—”

Customer: “I mean I’m the customer! He’s blocking the way! Employees should be moving, not the customers!”

(I walk past the lady and start picking up groceries further down the aisle. The customer then decides to go after my coworker, who is still busy helping other customers.)

Customer: *to my coworker* “Sir, you really need to move! You’re blocking the aisle!”

Other Customer: “Ma’am, it’s not that big of a deal.”

Customer: *to my coworker* “No, you need to move! I’m the customer! I shouldn’t have to move!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, I’m very sorry. I’m moving out of the way.”

Customer: “That’s right! Customers shouldn’t have to move!”

Your Eating Habits Give Us Paws

| KY, USA | Food & Drink

(I’m working at a supermarket giving out free samples of food. I’ve just prepared a frozen meal of chicken, ravioli and garlic sauce into small sample servings. I sit the samples onto a tray next to some sporks for customers to take and enjoy.)

Me: *to a customer* “Hello! Would you like a sample of chicken, ravioli and garlic sauce from [brand]?”

(The customer looks at product for a moment, and then suddenly grabs the meat and sauce with her bare hands and shovels it into her mouth.)

Me: “You know, I do have eating utensils for your convenience.”

Customer: “Nah, that’s okay. I can use my paws!” *wipes garlic sauce-covered fingers all over her clothing and leaves*

You Just Got Served

| Silkeborg, Denmark | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I used to work at a gas station, and regularly had to train new people. This happens on the first morning shift of my coworker. And elderly man comes in to buy some pastries. There are two other customers in the shop.)

Coworker: “Good morning, how can I help you?”

Customer #1: “I would like three of those.” *points at a pastry of which we only have two left*

Coworker: “I am sorry, but I only have two left of those. Would you like another pastry instead to get the discount?”

Customer #1: “There you go, talking! Just shut up and do your job!”

Coworker: “I am sorry sir, but if you would just—”

Customer #1: “SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! Do your job, b****!”

(My coworker is now almost in tears, and I, having heard it all, step in.)

Me: “Sir, you have to be polite! It is her first shift, and there is absolutely no need to be rude. We only have the cakes on display, and since there are just two of the pastries you want—”

Customer #1: “Another one! Just shut up already! I am in a hurry!”

(At that moment, the two customers who have been patiently waiting decide they have had enough and speak up.)

Customer #2: “We don’t want people like you here. If you can’t be nice, get out!”

Customer #3: “Yeah, just get out!”

Customer #1: “What poor service!” *hurriedly leaves the shop with his pastries*

Page 1,800/3,124First...1,7981,7991,8001,8011,802...Last