Life Is Stranger Than Movie Fiction

| New Zealand | Right | February 4, 2014

(I work as a cinema attendant at a movie theatre. I am working at one of the registers when a customer storms up to my till.)

Customer: “Excuse me, but are you the manager?”

Me: “No, but I would be happy to fetch them for you. What is the issue, just in case I can help you out?”

Customer: “The movie I just watched was absolutely ridiculous, and I couldn’t stand it. I want my money back for it!”

Me: “Oh, which movie was it?”

(The customer states the name of a movie which had just finished screening, after she had sat through the entire movie.)

Customer: “I also want my money back for my combo as well. The popcorn was just FAR too salty!”

(The customer has about a quarter of a large box of popcorn left in her hand, after having eaten all the rest.)

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t actually refund tickets for movies that you watched all the way through. If you had come out after about 15 to 20 minutes, we could have, but not after you’ve seen the entire thing. We also can’t give refunds on food that has already been eaten.”

Customer: “That is so stupid. What kind of customer service is this? I paid for this food and that movie, but I didn’t enjoy it. Surely you are meant to keep the customer happy?!”

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This Conversation Goes Round And Round

| Whitehorse, YT, Canada | Right | February 3, 2014

(A customer phones in and wants a quote on a very specific tire and size.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but [Brand] doesn’t make that winter tire in that size.”

Caller: “When will you be getting them in?”

Me: “They don’t make that tire in your size.”

Caller: “If you order them in for me during the sale, can I still get sale price?”

Me: “Sir, they DON’T make that tire in the size you need.”

Caller: “Do you think I could get a rain check for them then?”

Me: ‘Sir, we can’t issue you a rain check for a tire that they… don’t… make!”

Caller: *Click*

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Complaints Versus Gratitude

| Right | February 3, 2014

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Acting Like They Were Born In A Bearn

| Austin, TX, USA | Right | February 3, 2014

(I work at a renaissance festival, where the workers are required to be in character when interacting with patrons. Two women are looking around the shop while their two boys, about seven or so, are horsing around with wooden swords. Sometimes I play along with the kids, but they’re getting out of control.)

Little Boy #1: “DIE! I’m gonna get you! I’m gonna kill you!”

Little Boy #2: “Not if I kill you first! RAAAAAAAAAAH!”

(The moms look a little resigned to all this and don’t say anything, but now the boys are starting to trip and hit each other so I step in and yell to be heard over them.)

Me: “Squires! Please take the arts of war outside my shop. We are a peaceful establishment!”

(They stop dead and look at me, dumbfounded. Then they hastily scoot outside and begin whacking each other again.)

Mom: “Wow, can you follow us around all day? They haven’t listened to us once!”

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No Thanks

| Right | February 3, 2014

checkout

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