The Cappuccino’d Crusader

| New York, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

(Note: I am with my friend at a coffee shop.)

Me: *to friend* “Hey, can you order my drink for me? I have to go to the bathroom.”

My Friend: “Yeah, of course!”

(I return from the bathroom and sit in the waiting area with my friend.)

Cashier: “I have a mocha frappe for Batman?”

My Friend: *grins at me*

Me: “What?”

Cashier: “FRAPPE FOR BATMAN!”

My Friend: *grins* “He’s calling you…”

Me: “What do you…oh my God, you didn’t!”

Cashier: “Yes, she did. Here’s your order, Batman.”

Me: “Thank you.”

Cashier: “No problem. Just remember to protect Gotham!”

Lukewarm Science

| Indiana, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

(A customer orders a large mocha, but only lukewarm. After receiving it, she takes a sip, grimaces, and sighs.)

Customer: “I really miss hot coffee.”

Me: “I can heat it up more if you like.”

Customer: “Oh, no, it has to be lukewarm. I’m trying to lose weight. I read that calories are a unit of heat!”

Burger Budgeting 101

, | USA | Food & Drink

(I’m eating a hamburger. I see the man next to me carefully picking a slab of cheese out of his burger, wrapping it in a paper napkin, and eating the rest of the burger. It puzzles me, so I ask him about it.)

Me: *point at napkin* “Excuse me, but why did you do that?”

Man: “Oh, every time I eat a burger, I set one ingredient aside. At the end of the week, I have a free burger!”

The Skulls Are Thicker, Too

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Uncategorized

(We have a TV in our hotel’s breakfast lounge. A guest is having trouble turning it on with the remote.)

Guest: “Can you turn on the TV please? I can’t find the right button.”

Me: “Of course!” *turns on the TV*

Guest: “Oh, I didn’t know you had to press that button. Our remotes are different in Sudbury, you see.”

Me: “Sudbury has different remotes?”

Guest: *completely serious* “Yes, they’re quite thicker!”

Not As Easy As A-B-C

| Anchorage, AK, USA | Musical Mayhem

Customer: “Excuse me, I have a question about this tin radio.”

Me: “Sure! What can I help you with?”

Customer: “Well, it says it plays the ABC song, but it doesn’t.”

Me: “Oh, you just have to turn this knob and it plays until it winds down.”

Customer: “Yeah, but it doesn’t play the ABC Song! It plays Twinkle Twinkle Little Star!

Me: “Well, they’re the same melody. See?” *sings the first line of both songs*

Customer: “No, listen!”

(She winds up the radio enough for it to play the whole song; there are a few embellishments towards the end.)

Customer: “See?! That’s not how the ABC song goes!”

Customer’s Husband: “Maybe they just play it differently.”

Customer: “Well, that’s not the way I sing it!”

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