I Gotta Ticket To Hide

| Lansdale, PA, USA | Right | November 11, 2013

(I enter a movie theater when there is only one other customer at the counter.)

Customer: “Hey, can I get a ticket to Insidious 2?”

Cashier: “That’s [price].”

Customer: “Okay.” *looks in purse* “I have three quarters.”

Cashier: “Sorry, can’t allow you.”

Customer: “No! You said I could go in; you WILL let me!”

Cashier: “No, you don’t have enough; I wasn’t to know.”

Customer: “You’ll sell me that ticket!”

Cashier: “I can’t; it’s against policy.”

(The customer walks outside.)

Me: “I’d like a ticket to Justin and the Knights of Valor.”

Cashier: “Sure.”

(I pay and go to the ticket inspector. Before I know what has happened, the customer has run back in, snatches my ticket, rushes past the ticket inspector and runs towards the ‘Insidious’ theater. The ticket inspector and I run after and enter the theater, where commercials are still playing.)

Me: “Hey! That was my ticket!”

Ticket Inspector: “Give him back his ticket, please.”

Customer: “No! His ticket wasn’t ripped!” *shows ticket* “This one is.”

Ticket Inspector: “That’s because you STOLE his ticket. Give it back.”

Customer: “Piss off!”

Ticket Inspector: “Give it back or I’m getting security.”

Other Moviegoer: “Just give the d*** thing back!”

(Others in the theater are agreeing.)

Customer: “No. It’s mine, and you can’t prove it’s yours. You’re just a silly little boy and you think you can get what you want.”

Ticket Inspector: *on radio* “Could security please come to screen three?”

(At this point, the customer begins eating the ticket. The inspector tries ripping it from her hands, but she has already eaten most of it.)

Customer: “Can’t prove it now!”

(Security came and took her away. The ticket inspector apologized for her behavior and gave me my money back.)

1 Thumbs
2,097
VOTES

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup

, | Not Always Right | Right | November 10, 2013

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. He’s The Best Actor Of The Bunch (3,379 thumbs up)
  2. Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On (2,068 thumbs up)
  3. Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition (2,953 thumbs up)
  4. Some Like It Not Hot (2,521 thumbs up)
  5. Demanding Understanding (2,445 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Bird Brained, Part 9

| Norway | Right | November 10, 2013

(I work in a pet store, and only one staff member is male. We also have a chatty amazon parrot.)

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “How may I help you?”

Customer: “Does the parrot say anything?”

Me: “Yes! He can say many things! Greetings and lots of random nonsense!”

(I wave at the parrot and he responds by saying ‘buh bye,’ and basically setting him off on a chatting rampage.)

Customer: “I thought you said it was a he?”

(I stare at the customer, somewhat confused.)

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Well… that’s clearly a woman’s voice!”

(I just stand there for a moment before explaining the principal behind parrots speaking. Needless to say, the customer was sort of embarrassed as he left.)

Related:
Bird Brained, Part 8
Bird Brained, Part 7
Early Bird Brained
Bird Brained, Part 6
Bird Brained, Part 5
Bird Brained, Part 4
Bird Brained, Part 3
Bird Brained, Part 2
Bird Brained

1 Thumbs
1,266
VOTES

A Long Night Is In The Cards

| PA, USA | Right | November 10, 2013

(I work night shift at a local chain convenience store, so I see many different people come in. One customer in particular is very drunk.)

Me: “Hello, sir. How are you doing tonight?”

(The customer just grunts and puts his items on the counter. I ring them up.)

Me: “Okay, your total is [amount].”

(The customer swipes his card.)

Me: “Sir, your card was declined.”

Customer: “Bull-s***! I know I have enough. Try it again!”

(He proceeds to swipe it again and like before, it is declined.)

Me: “Sir, it’s still declining.”

Customer: “F***! Again!”

(This repeats four more times, meanwhile a line has started to form behind him.)

Me: “Sir, do you have another form of payment?”

Customer: “I shouldn’t need it, because I have money on my f****** card!”

(He goes through his wallet anyway. His face falls and then he starts laughing.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “I was using the wrong d*** card! Here ya go.”

(He hands me the card and I run it through. It’s approved, and his receipt prints.)

Me: “Okay, sir. Have a good night!”

(I smile as he grabs his bag and leaves. I turn to the next customer in line.)

Next Customer: “Long night, huh?”

Me: “You have no idea.”

1 Thumbs
1,107
VOTES

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup

Not Always Right | Right | November 10, 2013

Liars & Scammers Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. He’s The Best Actor Of The Bunch (3,379 thumbs up)
  2. Hasn’t Got A Leg To Stand On (2,068 thumbs up)
  3. Putting Your Son Into A Sweet Disposition (2,953 thumbs up)
  4. Some Like It Not Hot (2,521 thumbs up)
  5. Demanding Understanding (2,445 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Page 1,798/3,802First...1,7961,7971,7981,7991,800...Last