Close, But No Cigar

| Reno, NV, USA | Right | March 6, 2014

(I work at the front counter of a chain store, and am responsible for all tobacco sales during my shift. A customer comes up to the counter and waves a $20 bill at me.)

Customer: “[Brand].”

Me: “Sure. What kind?”

Customer: “[Brand]!”

Me: “Sir, I have a lot of different kinds of [Brand]. Which one do you want?”

Customer: *getting annoyed* “[Brand]!”

Me: “Short or long?”

(There is a long pause.)

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “[Brand]!”

(I point at the cigarettes at the top left corner and slowly slide my finger along the 12-foot display. I repeat this for every shelf until the customer finally speaks.)

Customer: *excitedly* “Finally! [Brand]!”

(I ring up his cigarettes and the customer leaves.)

Manager: “Does he even speak English?”

Me: “He did yesterday!”

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March Themed Story Giveaway: Man vs. Machine!

Not Always Right | Right | March 6, 2014
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s March Themed Story Giveaway:
Man vs. Machine!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about customers dealing with machines — whether they be gadgets, soda dispensers, or cars, if it’s funny and/or interesting, we’d love to hear about it.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning February’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about returnaholics. The winning submission: Refunder Blunder, Part 4 (721 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, April 2!

A New Form Of Reverse Psychology

, | CO, USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(I am working the drive thru and we were about to close. I see a car full of high-schoolers pull up to the window and the whole car is backwards. I go see what’s going on.)

Customer: “I bet you haven’t seen a car drive backwards through your drive thru before!”

Me: “No, sure haven’t!”

Customer: “So this means we get free food then right? For being original?”

Me: “Um, no. Nice try.”

Customer: “Okay. Had to try.” *drives off in reverse*

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A Race To Be At The Place

| LA, USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(Customer #1 is paying with a check. She’s one of our regulars, and a very nice person, but it does take her a little bit of time to write all the information on her check. Customer #2 is in line behind her.)

Customer #2: “Oh, dear gawd. How long is this gonna take?”

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. We need to finish up here.”

Customer #2: “Some of us ain’t got all day. We don’t go ‘round wasting other people’s time, but here they be wastin’ ours. F*** this!”

Me: “We’re almost done, and stop cussing. Okay?”

Customer #1: “Thank you, sweetie. Are we done? Okay, fine. Have a good day, now!”

Customer #2: *mockingly* “Have a good day! Have a good day! Get your old a** out my way!”

(I silently ring up the rude customer’s purchases, and then tell her the total. She pulls a plastic baggie from her purse and starts counting it out in loose change. It’s a large total, and several times she gets a text on her phone and then loses track of her count. All in all, it takes nearly ten minutes for her to pay.)

Customer #2: “There! We done? I got places to be!”

(Customer #2 then strolls out the door and stands leaning on the lamp post next to the street, talking on her cell phone. I start ringing up the next customer.)

Customer #3: “Yep. That’s her place to be, I guess.”

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Listen For Those Nuggets Of Information

, | UK | Right | March 5, 2014

(I take orders in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, can I take your order, please?”

Customer: “Can I have a large chicken nugget meal, please?”

Me: “Sure, what drink?”

Customer: “LARGE. CHICKEN. NUGGET. MEAL.”

Me: “Yeah. What drink?”

(The customer rolls their eyes and sighs before making some comment to the passenger about ‘kids these days.’)

Customer: “Chicken—”

Me: “Yes. I heard you say large chicken nugget meal the first time. I asked you what drink?”

Customer: *laughs* “Oh. Coke!”

Me: “Any dips?”

Customer: “COKE!”

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