Size Matters, Part 5

| Destin, FL, USA | Extra Stupid

(I work at the photo counter of a major retailer. This happens almost everyday.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I was wondering how big is an 8 x 10 photo?”

Me: *holding up fingers to approximate size* “About this big.”

Customer: “So, how big is that?”

Me: “It’s 8 inches by 10 inches.”

Customer: “So, will that fit in a 4 x 6 frame?”

Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

A Dose By Any Other Name

| Belize | Health & Body

Customer: “Hey, I want some Tylenol.”

Me: “For children or for adults?”

Customer: “For adults.”

Me: “At the moment, we only have the generic kind available. You know, paracetamol, also known as acetaminophen?”

Customer: “No! I don’t want any acetaminophen! Give me the other one!”

Me: “Ma’am, they are the same thing, just different names for the same ingredient.”

Customer: “Well, I just want the first one you named. Just don’t give me the other one.”

Sender To Return

| Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid

(A customer comes in and presents me with a package. I immediately note that he has the delivery address in the place of the return address, by standard postal conventions.)

Customer: “I sent this package from here last week, and it came back to me.”

Me: “Sir, you have your addresses in the wrong places.”

Customer: “Why does it matter? Can’t the post office hire people who can read?”

Me: “They can read just fine, sir. However, they do try to move quickly to get your mail out on time, so they look at the second address.”

Customer: “That just means they’re stupid and they need to learn how to read. No wonder the post office is going out of business!”

Me: “Sir, standard postal addressing conventions have the return address on top, and the delivery address on the bottom, and this is what postal employees expect to see. You have your ‘To’ and ‘From’ backwards.”

Customer: “Oh, so now this is all my fault? They deliver it wrong and you tell me it’s my fault? I hope you don’t expect to keep business that way. I won’t be coming back. I’m going to UPS.”

Me: “Have a good day, sir!”

Next customer: *having witnessed entire exchange* “UPS is going to send it back to his house too!”

Me: *nods*

Those Mosquitoes Can Bite Me

| Dewitt, MI, USA | Family & Kids

(This happened a couple of summers ago. It had been a wet and warm summer, so the mosquitoes had been abnormally bad. So, when a young two-and-a-half-year-old boy come through my lane I tried to make conversation…)

Me: “Hi there, buddy!”

Boy: *big smile* “Hi!”

Me: “Looks like some mosquitoes bit ‘cha.”

Boy: “Yeah! Here…”

(He points to a bite on his arm.)

Boy: “Here…”

(He points to another bite on the same arm.)

Boy: “Here…”

(He points to yet another bite on the same arm.)

Boy: “And here!”

(The last bite is on his middle finger, which he shows me by flipping me off.)

Both the mother and me: *laughing hysterically*

Canada, America’s Hat, Part 6

| Michigan, USA | Canada, Geography

(Our company is part of a global organization that holds weekend teaching conferences across North America.)

Caller: “Do you ever have programs in Canada, or just in the States?”

Me: “Our territory covers North America. We have programs in the US, Canada, and Bermuda.”

Caller: “Canada isn’t part of North America.”

Me: “Yes it is. Canada is part of North America.”

Caller: “Typical American attitude! Canada is its OWN country!”

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