Descending Into Obnoxiousness

| Montevideo, MN, USA | Bad Behavior, Transportation, Wild & Unruly

(I’m standing at the bus stop when I see the bus coming. There’s a car just a few meters before the bus stop, not allowing the bus to stop very close from the side walk. The doors open and a passenger starts descending, and stops half-way, blocking two other people and myself from getting in.)

Me: “Ma’am, are you going to descend?”

Passenger: “Yes I am, whenever this driver decides to get closer to the side walk.”

Driver: “Sorry, but I can’t get any closer, ma’am. The car is blocking me.”

Passenger: “You are obligated to stop 50cm from the side walk, and you are stopping at least a meter and a half!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but can you let me pass?”

Passenger: “No, you’ll just have to wait. I guess I’m going to stay here until the next stop.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the next stop is two blocks away, and I’ll never catch the bus. I really can’t wait for the next one.”

(I try to get on, and she pushes me away with incredible strength and I almost fall.)

Passenger: “No! You’ll just have to wait.”

Me: “Look, we are happy to help you descend if that’s the problem, but we all need to get on the bus.”

Passenger: “I don’t want you to help me descending. Do you think I’m crippled? I want the bus driver to respect the law or I’ll fill a complaint!”

Person Behind Me: “Oh, come on! Just let us pass!”

Me: “Yes, just let us in, and you can descend the next stop.”

Passenger: *screaming at bus driver* “You should stop closer to the side walk; move the bus!”

Driver: “Ma’am, I can’t. These people offered you help to descend if that was the problem, but you refused it. You can stay on the bus and descend at the next stop and let these people in, or just descend.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have had enough! I need to get to my job.”

(I manage to get on the bus even though she pushes me again. She eventually descends while cursing at all of us.)

Me: “Wow, some people are just crazy.”

Driver: “You have no idea, girl!”

Hold The Garlic Bread

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Movies & TV, Top

(I work the late shift at a pizza parlor, and am taking over delivery for a sick coworker instead of working the register as I usually do. I cycle up to the apartment that’s listed on the bill and knock on their door. The customer doesn’t answer so I knock harder.)

Me: “Your pizza’s here!”

(The door slowly creaks open. The lights are all off, almost like a horror movie, and I take a step back in surprise.)

Me: “Uhm… hello?”

(Unnerved, I turn to get the heck out of there, when I hear something moving. I look back in the house, and some guy is standing there, nearly invisible in the dark.)

Me: “Oh, haha, I didn’t see you there. Here’s your pizza, sir. You ordered online, so you’re good to go!”

Customer: “Who darez to tahlk to ze Count in zees mannehr?!”

(I realize that he’s wearing a full Dracula costume, complete with bloody fangs and a cape. He’s staring at me with Bela Lugosi’s signature death glare.)

Me: “Uh… Frank, the pizza delivery guy?”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Dihd you breeng extra ov zee leetle sauce packeets for ze breedsteecks?”

Me: “Uh… yeah, yeah, they should be in the box.”

Customer: “Exceeleent! Have a vunderful night, my child!”

(The customer slams the door closed.)

Me: “What just happened?”

Fought For His Country, Not Just His County

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Military, Money

(Our store gives a military discount, but you have to have one of three types of nationally-issued ID cards to get it. It can’t be a state, county, or city-issued ID. My current customer has a county-issued veteran’s card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t take these. It must be a nationally-issued card.”

Customer: “This IS nationally issued!”

Me: “No, this is a county VA card. The county seal is right there. It has to be from the Department of Veteran’s Affairs in DC.”

Customer: *blankly* “This IS a VA card.”

(I pull out the cheat-sheet for cashiers.)

Me: “It has to be one of these types. They’ve gotten very strict on that.”

Customer: “I’m going to [competitor]! They know how to treat their veterans right!”

(The customer storms out. A regular, who is a retired vet, comes up to me.)

Regular Customer: “Good for you! I can’t stand people like that.”

Me: “I was about ready to rattle off my parents’ names, ranks, and postings. Mom did her 22 years, and Dad’s a Lieutenant Colonel. And both of them would’ve told me that if I didn’t have my ID, too bad!”