Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories

, | Not Always Right | Right | October 20, 2013

Weekly Roundup: Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories! In this week’s roundup, we share five funny seasonal stories about fall/autumn!

  1. A Good Chance Of A Falling Out (4,082 thumbs up)
  2. A Pal-Tree Understanding Of Plants (2,171 thumbs up)
  3. Window Pains (1,106 thumbs up)
  4. Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym (1,505 thumbs up)
  5. Happy PTLBOTT Day! (2,715 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

| London, England, UK | Right | October 20, 2013

(I’m standing in line at a corner shop. The customer at the till is a typical 40-something skinhead, wearing an England football shirt. He’s harassing the cashier because of the difference between the display price of a packet of cigarettes, and what he’s being charged.)

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but due to the changes in taxes, we’ve had to increase the price. We haven’t had time to change the signs yet.”

Customer: “THAT’S BULLSHIT! YOU’RE NOT FROM HERE! WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

(The cashier isn’t ethnically British, but he’s been working at the store for a few years now and is a pretty decent guy.)

Cashier: “That doesn’t matter, sir. Could you just pay for your items?”

Customer: “I SAID WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

Cashier: *rolling his eyes* “Sri Lanka.”

(The customer tries to think of an insult using the tiny amount of brainpower not given over to alcohol and rage.)

Customer: “…yeah … well your cricket team is s***!”

(The customer then storms off after paying for the cigarettes. I go up to the register.)

Me: “Didn’t Sri Lanka just win the Cricket World Cup?”

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Gloss Over The Facts

| IN, USA | Right | October 19, 2013

(I’m on a phone with a customer. I’ve just finished going through all the print sizes, finishes, and prices.)

Customer: “I’m going to send some 8x10s through the internet; how much will they be?”

Me: “They are $3.99.”

Customer: “What finish are your 8×10 prints?”

Me: “They are glossy.”

Customer: “But I need a matte finish.”

Me: “The machine that prints 8x10s can print a glossy finish. You can always go to [location]; they only have the matte finish.”

Customer: “But I want to order them here!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but our machine is unable to print matte photos.”

Customer: “Can you try?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but that machine only prints a glossy finish.”

Customer: “Yes, but can you try?”

Me: “We do not have the ability to print photos with a matte finish. We can only make glossy prints.”

Customer: “I don’t understand why you won’t try! You w****!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but the w**** who runs the machine is unwilling to talk in circles. Good day!” *click*

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Not Quite Seasoned With The Omelet Station

, | Nashville, TN, USA | Right | October 19, 2013

(I work for a hotel with a complimentary breakfast that includes a made-to-order omelet station. I am making the omelets in plain sight of the customers, with all of my ingredients on display. A customer walks up and ignores a sign with ingredients listed and bowls on display, full of veggies.)

Customer: “I want an omelet with all the vegetables.”

Me: “Okay, all of the vegetables including the ja—”

Customer: *cuts me off* “YES! All of them.”

Me: “Okay, because we have—”

Customer: *walks off*

(I make an omelet with all of the vegetables, and call it out when it’s done. She comes and picks it up and walks off with out a word. About two minutes later, she comes back. Her face is red, and there are tears running down her face.)

Customer: “I didn’t realize you had jalapeños!”

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Convicted By His Convictions

| Right | October 19, 2013

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