Just Because You Can…

| Right | February 5, 2014

Common-Sense-just-because-you-can-doesnt-mean-you-should

Surely Get You Help Faster

| Right | February 5, 2014

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French Disconnection

| Right | February 5, 2014

Piercing Judgments, Part 4

| PA, USA | Right | February 5, 2014

(I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)

Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”

Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”

Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”

Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”

Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”

Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”

Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”

Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”

 

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A Hit Of Caffeine

| CA, USA | Right | February 5, 2014

(The bakery closes at two pm every Sunday. I am out on the patio about an hour after closing, sweeping and stacking furniture. A middle-aged customer and her elderly mother approach.)

Daughter: “Oh, hi! We’d like to get some coffee, please.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, but the coffee’s all gone now. We’re closed.”

Daughter: “You are?”

Me: “Yes. I’m afraid we close at two on Sundays.”

Mother: “Oh, you bad girl!”

(The customer proceeds to hit me with her rolled up newspaper, leaving me speechless!)

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