An Impatient Patient

| Yorkshire, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(It is a Sunday, so not many pharmacies are open. I’ve come in with my friend, who is rather unwell. The staff know my husband and I quite well, as we’re in there for our regular medication. Additionally, I have multiple piercings, a rather large tattoo on my nape of my neck, and teal green hair.)

Pharmacist: “Won’t be long; please take a seat.”

(We do, and I give the tech I know well a smile and a nod in greeting. Another customer enters.)

Customer: “How long will it be for my medication?”

Pharmacist: “About 20 minutes. We have a few people in front of you.”

Customer: “Fine. I wouldn’t come here if you weren’t the only pharmacy open on a bloody Sunday; you’re always slow!”

(The pharmacist brushes it off and goes to make up medications.)

Customer: “I’m only having to wait this long because of stupid drug freaks.”

(My friend turns to say something, but I put my hand on her arm and shake my head.)

Customer: “Yeah, I mean you, green freak! What, come in for your methadone early, and they won’t give it to you?”

(I’ve deliberately turned my back on him at this point.)

Customer: “F****** druggies! We pay for you to get f****** high.”

Pharmacy Tech: “Sir, can you watch your language please?”

Customer: “No I f****** won’t! That stupid b**** is the reason I have to wait so f****** long! She’s strung out, look at the f****** circles under her eyes; they’re all bloodshot!”

Pharmacy Tech: “I’ll have you know that young lady there is a full-time carer for her husband, who is disabled. And all this whilst being disabled herself. She looks like she hasn’t slept in a week because she probably hasn’t; between caring for him, volunteering with [national advice organization], and helping out her friend here who is rather unwell. And I don’t personally care if my taxes are being used to help her out; I wish there were more people like her out there!”

Customer: “I… I… I demand to see a pharmacist!”

Pharmacist: “Sir, I am not going to reprimand my tech for handling that much better than I would have. Do not insult my customers. Here is your prescription back; please fill it somewhere else.”

(The customer stomps out.)

Me: “I’m really sorry I caused that.”

Pharmacist: “Eh, don’t worry; he’s always an a** when he comes in here. Besides, he has an exemption certificate, which means our taxes are paying for his meds too!”

Worst Sequel Ever

| Kitchener, ON, Canada | Funny Names, Movies & TV

(A customer rushes in, looking flustered.)

Customer: “Excuse me! I need that new movie!”

Me: “Which movie is that?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers!”

Me: “…I’m sorry? What’s the name?”

Customer: “Fury Avengers! Fury Avengers! It just came out!”

Me: “Who’s in the movie? I don’t seem to have anything called ‘Fury Avengers’ in our system.”

Customer: “I don’t know who’s in it! It’s called Fury Avengers! Brendan Fury Avengers!”

Me: *light bulb* “OH! Do you mean Furry Vengeance, with Brendan Fraser?”

Customer: “Yes! Whatever it’s called!”

Me: *sigh* “Right this way, sir.”

Throwing Around Bags Of Blame

| PA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(I am ringing up an older customer—Customer #1—who has always been a bit difficult. I have a line and am trying to get it down as much as possible. The customer forgets her bag, so I put it aside in case she comes back—which she does. By now, I am serving a second customer.)

Customer #1: “Did I leave a bag here?”

Me: “Yeah, I have it right here for you.”

Customer #1: “It’s your fault I left it here!”

Me: “Oh? How is that?”

Customer #1: “You were too busy and didn’t tell me how many bags I had! It’s all your fault! This is horrible customer service! I won’t be back!”

(Fortunately, Customer #2 speaks up in my defense.)

Customer #2: “How exactly is it your fault that she forgot something?”

Me: *sarcastic* “Not sure. It’s obvious she’s never forgotten one before…”