Has Beef With You

| VA, USA | Right | March 13, 2014

(I own and operate a small ranch in Virginia. We sell all natural grass fed beef, all natural pork, and free range chickens. We also sell cheeses, eggs, and also have a few goats for milk and cheese, etc. A customer calls up wanting information about our operation.)

Me: “Hello, [Company Name]. This is [My Name], What can I do for you today?”

Caller: “Yes, are your cows vegetarian?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, they are. We only feed them grass and hay. Hay is a type of grass so, yes, they eat no meat products at all. We use no antibiotics or hormones—”

Caller: “NO, NO, NO! Are your cows vegetarian!?”

Me: “Ma’am, I do not understand what you are asking me.”

Caller: “You farm people are all dumb! My daughter and her friends do not eat meat! They are vegan and we want to have steak for dinner! So now I’m going to ask you: are you cows vegetarian?”

Me: “Are you asking me if my steaks are not made from meat?”

Caller: “No, I know steak is made from meat! I want to know if your cows are vegetarian?!”

Me: “Ma’am, all cows are meat. Everything we take off them during butchering is meat. I am not sure, are you asking me for meat that isn’t meat?”

Caller: “Well, your advertising on your website says you are all natural. That is false advertising!”

Me: “I am not sure how. We keep our cows free from additives and—”

Caller: “Look, I’m not stupid. Before you turn cows into beef, what are they?”

Me: “Cows.”

Caller: “Exactly. So why can’t I get all natural cow instead of beef?”

Me: “Ma’am, I can’t sell you a live cow. I think you need to find another place to get your meat.”

Caller: “I will not be talked to like this! I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “You are talking to the owner. I am sorry you think that an animal is not meat until after it dies, but I will not sell you a live cow to eat! I am also sorry you are too stupid to understand that this is a cattle ranch and we sell our own beef. Beef is meat, meat is not vegan. Please call another company that specializes in vegan food!”

(I hang up on her. Two weeks go by and she calls me back.)

Caller: “I talked to you a couple weeks ago and I just want to let you know that we bought steak from the farmer’s market at (location). We had a wonderful dinner!”

Me: “Oh, you were at the farmer’s market at [location]?”

Caller: “Yes, and the woman there sold us vegetarian cow! You know, cow for vegans! My daughter said she and her friends always eat steak from the woman that sells cow there.”

Me: “So your daughter is vegan, huh?”

Caller: “Well, yeah. She won’t eat chicken!”

(I gave up and I told her I would look into selling vegetarian ‘COW.’ I did not have the heart to tell her that she bought my meat. I am the only one allowed to sell at that particular market and my neighbor’s daughter works for me selling at that location. I also didn’t bother to go into her daughter not being vegan!)

 

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The Manager Has To Wake Up And Smell The Coffee

| West Yorkshire, England, UK | Right | March 12, 2014

(We are having a meeting about how many errors we are making on our tills. When we explain why these are happening, our boss seems to think we are all idiots and decides to spend a few hours watching what we do, starting off by showing us how to use the till properly.)

Customer #1: “Can I have a medium latte please?”

(My manager makes the drink and processes it on the till without a problem. I’m the first to go on the till afterwards.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, can I get a medium skinny latte.”

(I make the drink, process it on the till, and tell the customer the price which is also written on the menu board behind me.)

Customer #2: “Sorry, I don’t have enough. Can you make me a plain latte?”

(I make the second drink for the customer and process this on the till, but it goes down as an error which causes my manager to glare at me. I tell the customer the new price.)

Customer #2: “Yeah, I don’t have enough for that either. Can I have a tea?”

(I make a third drink and re-process this on the till making another error. The customer finally pays and leaves.)

Manager: “Yeah. I’ll just tell head office this town is full of idiots…”

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I Work In Retail

| Right | March 12, 2014

retailholidays

Retail Politics #12

| Right | March 12, 2014

retail-politics-21814

The Father Of All Bad Examples

| MO, USA | Right | March 12, 2014

(I work at an indoor children’s play place. Leaving with kids who aren’t yours could be a problem, so we stamp a different number on every family’s hand, You can’t leave with a child who has a separate number. I am working the front counter where I have to stamp a number on the family’s hands, work the register, answer the phone, and check family’s hands to let them out the door. Sometimes it’s overwhelming working by yourself.)

Me: *answering phone* “Thank you for calling [Indoor Play Area]. How may I help you?”

Caller: “I’d like to get a birthday party room for my son.”

Me: “Okay, give me the date and I’ll start looking up times for you.”

(As I am looking up times for the caller, an enraged father comes up to me.)

Father: “HEY! WHERE’S MY SON!?”

Me: *caught completely off guard * “What!?”

Father: “WHERE IS MY SON?! YOU LET MY SON WALK OUT THE FRONT DOOR! WHERE THE H*** IS MY SON?”

Me: “Sir, the door that you go out of is locked and I have been keeping an eye on this door. I’m sure your son is still in here and is in the the [play area] somewhere.”

Father: “YOU LET MY SON OUT THIS DOOR! IS HE IN THE PARKING LOT? IF HE GETS HIT, I’M KICKING YOU’RE A**! HE GETS HIT, I’M SUING YOU!”

(Some back and forth goes on like this for a minute. I am almost ready to go into the parking lot to find his son when some other father in the [play area], actually playing with his child and keeping an eye on him, speaks up.)

Other Father: “Hey [Father], isn’t this your son?”

(The father looks up and sees his son directly above us in the [play area] watching this whole little episode. He looks back at me, doesn’t say a word, and walks away. I sit there for a few seconds, collecting myself.)

Caller: “Is someone yelling at you?”

Me: “Oh, shoot. Sorry, ma’am. I completely forgot you were still on the phone.”

Caller: “Haha, that’s quite all right. That guy is kind of a d***.”

(I set up the birthday party, and then went on working. I’m closing this night, too, so I have the distinct pleasure of having to check this father’s hand to make sure it’s his son. They finally decide to leave after a while. As they walk up to the door.)

Me: “Excuse me, sir, but I have to check your hands to make sure this is your son.”

(They show me their numbers and he is, in fact, this boy’s father.)

Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

(The father never said a word to me or made eye contact. What a great example of how to be a man he is setting for his son.)

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