This Bus Is Going Dune Town

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | February 9, 2014

(I am on my way home from a video game convention. I am dressed up like Link from Legend of Zelda. It’s about 11:30 at night.)

Bus Driver: “That woman is a ‘Bene Gesserit’ witch. You’ve read Dune, right?”

Passenger #1: “No.”

Me: “I am the ‘Kwisatz Haderach!'”

Passenger #2: “Who said that?”

Me: “I did. Link said that.”

Passenger #2: *pause* “That’s fair.”

Intelligence Abhors A Vacuum, Part 5

| MI, USA | Right | February 9, 2014

(I work at a very popular car wash. On a busy day, we can reach a volume of over a thousand customers. We only have five vacuums, which are free during business hours, and $1.00 after close. Due to wet paint, we close one vacuum, which includes shutting the power to that individual vacuum off completely, posting signs on the vacuum AND on the trash can which we placed in front of it, and taping it off. Despite this, a customer attempts to use it anyway. It won’t turn on, so she walks up to the building.)

Customer: “May I have change for a dollar?”

Me: *knowing why she’s asking* “Of course, but are you needing change for a vacuum?”

Customer: *points to the one that’s closed* “Yes! That vacuum won’t turn on!”

Me: “That’s because it’s been shut off.”

Customer: “But I need to vacuum out my car. I already parked there and got out and walked all the way over here!”

Me: “There are signs that say it’s out of order.”

Customer: “I didn’t see them!”

Me: “You didn’t see that it’s been cordoned off, the trash can in front of it to prevent people from parking there, or the signs that state ‘Out of Order’?”

Customer: “You know what?! I’ll go somewhere else!”

Me: “Have a nice day!”

 

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Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup

Not Always Right | Right | February 9, 2014

Outrageous Demands Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Got Their Cables Crossed (2,864 thumbs up)
  2. Paying The Price Of Stupidity (2,045 thumbs up)
  3. Credited Childsplay (2,856 thumbs up)
  4. Body Of Lies (1,800 thumbs up)
  5. His Table Lawsuit Won’t Have A Leg To Stand On (1,879 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Wined And Dined And Fined

| Right | February 8, 2014

Efficiency Deficiency

| USA | Right | February 8, 2014

(I’ve always prided myself in my fast service. Also, it should be noted that I always treat each guest the same, since they are all equally important in my eyes. One day, I’m checking in a lady at top speed.)

Me: “Here is your key, and have a nice day!”

Lady: *puckers face* “How rude!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Lady: “It’s like… you just want me out of your way! Well, excuuuuse me to be a bother! Hmph!”

(She storms off. I figure she took offense at my speed and decide to be slower at the next customer.)

Me: “Hi. How are you?”

Next Guest: *impatiently* “Enough with the small talk and give me my room!”

Me: *sighs*

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