Extras Roundup: 6 Silly Store Signs

Not Always Right | Roundups

Want to inject some fun into your store? Check out these funny store signs from our Extras section that may inspire you to create some of your own! Don’t forget to Like us on Facebook!

Think Twice About Discounts
(118 thumbs up)
Flexible Hours
(116 thumbs up)
Grouchy Surcharge
(158 thumbs up)
Pick Two Out Of Three
(121 thumbs up)
Unattended Children Warning
(146 thumbs up)
Would You Be Rich?
(101 thumbs up)

Do you have a funny sign in your store or did you create one of your own? Share it with us!

Steeps Tall Brewings In A Single Ground

| Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Top

Customer: “What comes in a Caramel Macchiato? Do you guys make a better one than [competitor #1]?”

Me: “Well, sir, we make it with [ingredients], while [competitor #1] makes it with [competitor #1’s ingredients], an [competitor #3] makes it with [competitor #3’s ingredients].”

Customer: *stunned* “Wow! How do you guys know that?!”

Me: “Well, I’ve worked at all of those other places before I got here, so I know a few of their tricks.”

Customer: “Man, you’re, like… Super Barista!”

(The man orders a caramel macchiato and pays happily. The next day, he catches me in the middle of taking out trash. Rather than removing my apron, I simply turn it backward to avoid getting it dirty, inadvertently making it appear as if I’m wearing a cape. Suddenly, the customer from the day before comes driving by.)

Customer: “SUPER BARISTA!”

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Obviously, She Was Dyeing To Know

| UK | Bizarre

(I am volunteering at a charity when a seemingly normal woman approaches my till without any items. Note: I have dark brown hair naturally.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “Is that your natural hair colour?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

Me: “Um, I’m not lying to you.”

Customer: “YOU’RE SUCH A LYING B****!”

Me: *taken aback* “I… I’m not lying.”

Customer: “STOP LYING! YOU’LL BURN IN H*** IF YOU CARRY ON LYING! NOW TELL ME WHAT DYE YOU USE!”

(At this point, my coworker comes over.)

Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem here?”

Customer: “This b**** won’t tell me what dye she uses! She’s being selfish! I want her fired!”

Coworker: “Well, our manager isn’t in today, so no one has the authority to fire her. I feel obliged to add this is her natural hair colour, though.”

Customer: “YOU’RE ALL F***ING LIARS IN THIS D*** SHOP! JUST F*** OFF!”

(The customer storms out, knocking things off the hangers as she goes.)

Coworker: “What the h*** was that?!”

It’s Best To Book It

| San Francisco, CA, USA | Liars & Scammers, Top

(I’m the merchandising manager of a large bookstore. I see a man looking around for books. He seems quite perplexed, so I try to help him.)

Me: “May I help you, sir?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’m having a h*** of a time finding these books on my list.”

Me: “What’s the first book?”

(I help him find half the books on the list, but he seems to be having a hard time reading the list. )

Me: “Maybe you could just give me the list, and I’ll find them for you?”

Customer: “Oh, yes!”

(He hands me a crumpled receipt from my store.)

Me: “So, you want to replace these books you purchased before?”

Customer: “Well, no… I was thinking I could get these books, take them to the front counter with the receipt and get money baaaaaa—” *trails off*

(There’s a bit of deadly silence as the customer realizes that he’s been caught.)

Customer: “I guess that won’t work now, huh?”

Me: “I think you should leave the store, sir. Have a nice day.”

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Freed Vibrations

| Victoria, BC, Canada | Rude & Risque

(I am standing in line at a book store. The customer in front of me is getting rung through. She’s about 45, and the cashier is maybe 19.)

Customer: “Have you read these?” *holds up 50 Shades Darker*

Cashier: “Oh… no.”

Customer: “Oh, you MUST! They’re amazing!”

Cashier: “So I hear.”

Customer: *puts the book to her chest* “Oh, they’re just amazing!”

Cashier: “Uh huh.”

(The customer proceeds to go on and on about how sexy and scandalous the books are. The cashier is doing her very best to ignore her and just ring her through.)

Customer: *after paying* “Oh, thank you very much! One more thing: do you know where I can buy some batteries?”

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