Yes, Master

| Denver, CO, USA | Extra Stupid, Funny Names

Me: “I would be happy to process that payment for you today. First, could I have the name exactly how it appears on the card?”

Customer: “Master Card.”

Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. I am looking for the human’s name that is on the card.”

Customer: “Capital One.”

Me: “No, not that one; the human’s name that is on the card.”

Customer: “I already told you, it’s Master Card!”

Mommy More Melee

| Aberdeen, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids

(A female customer who looks to be in her late thirties is at the counter asking about upcoming games releases for her 10-12 year old son, who is looking through the games on display. He runs up to the counter.)

Child: “Mummy, mummy, can I have this game?”

(He hands the 18+ rated game “Dead Island” to his mom, who looks at the back of the box.)

Woman: *disgusted* “You’re not having this! Look, it’s got a man hitting a zombie with an axe on the back! I’ve got no problem with you shooting people, but an axe?!”

Insinuatingly Dangerous

| West Yellowstone, MT, USA | Tourists/Travel

(This happens during a small snow storm. West Yellowstone is at the top of Gallatin Canyon and the road can be very dangerous in the winter.)

Visitor: “Thanks for the directions! I’m heading for Bozeman.”

Me: “You’re welcome, and drive safe!”

Visitor: “How dare you?! I am a great driver! Don’t you ever again imply otherwise!”

BOGO: Buy One Give One

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Awesome Customers, Top

(I’ve been helping a customer who’s about to get a great deal because of a BOGO promotion in the store. She also has a coupon for a free item. Even I am impressed with the amount of products she’ll get for free. I’ve been helping her select lotions and fragrances on the floor.)

Customer: “Well, I have so much already. I don’t know what to pick out next. What would you recommend? What’s your favorite fragrance?”

(I show her my favorite fragrance and she adds a lotion to her bag before she heads to the register to check out. She comes back to me after she makes her purchases.)

Customer: “Thanks so much for your help today!”

(Surprisingly, she hands me a bag from our store with an item in it. Inside is my favorite lotion; she had used her coupon to treat me!)

Weekend Roundup: Prank You Very Much

, , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

Prank You Very Much! Happy April Fools’ Day, readers! This week, we share five stories that show the foolish hazards of pulling a fast one!

  1. Impractical Jokes:
    Guys, take note: a fake stabbing to freak out your wife might result in a real stabbing—by your wife!
  2. Bohemian Nobody:
    Customer, oo-oo-oo-ooh // Didn’t mean to make you cry // If you’re not back again this time tomorrow // Go away, go away // Your pranks don’t really matter…
  3. Prankin’ Like It’s 1929:
    This elderly caller’s prank is probably older than your grandparents, but he proves laughter IS the best medicine—especially when it’s at your expense!
  4. Your Prank Got Spanked, Part 2:
    A caller learns the hard way that if you’re gonna prank an employee, at least be original!
  5. Morbid Curiosity Killed The Cat:
    Note to prank callers: your cat is NOT a get-out-of-jail-free card!

PS: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

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