I’m Tire’d Of These Calls

| St. John's, NL, Canada | Uncategorized

Me: “Sports department, [name] speaking.”

Caller: “Can you transfer me to the jewelry department?”

Me: “Uh, we don’t have a jewelry department.”

Caller: “Yes, you do. Just put me through.”

Me: “I’m pretty sure we don’t, ma’am. Let me ask.”

(I’m fairly new, so I go to customer service and ask.)

Me: “Yeah, sorry, ma’am. We definitely do not have a jewelry department.”

Caller: “WHAT?! Wal-Mart doesn’t have a jewelry department anymore?!”

Me: “Ma’am, this isn’t Wal-Mart. This is Canadian Tire.”

Caller: *hangs up*

Don’t Call About Not Calling

| Scotland, UK | Bizarre

(I am manning the phone line on a particularly busy night.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got this letter from you which says I don’t need to contact you again unless I have any questions.”

Me: “Okay.”

(The pause goes on for an uncomfortably long time while I wait for the customer to continue. Eventually, I crack.)

Me: “Was there anything you’d like to go over?”

Customer: “No, that’s okay.”

(Another uncomfortably long silence.)

Me: “Then, thanks very much for calling.”

Customer: “No problem. Bye!” *hangs up*

One Foto In The Grave

| Orlando, FL, USA | Family & Kids

(I am working the photo center of a thrill ride, where people can look at and buy the photo taken of them in their ride car. An older couple comes up and orders their picture.)

Older lady: “I don’t need a bag. My kids and grandkids are right over there.” *points to a corner of the store*

Me: “Sure thing. Here’s your printed picture. How does it look?”

Older lady: *taking the photo* “That’s great! They’re gonna love it when we’re dead!” *walks off*

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 9

| Odessa, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Excuse me, do you have that new Twilight movie Breaking Dawn?”

(Note: as the customer asks this question, I am stocking a life-sized display case of Edward and Bella and have an armful of Breaking Dawn DVDs. The store is also filled with piles of Breaking Dawn pre-orders, Breaking Dawn promo merchandise, and several Breaking Dawn dozen posters advertising the movie’s DVD release. The customer looks right down at the Breaking Dawn DVD in my hand and, before I can answer him, he continues.)

Customer: *sighs* “Oh, well. Guess not.” *turns around and leaves without another word*

The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 8
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 7
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 6
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 5
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 4
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 3
The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 2
The Twilight Of Our Literacy

Takes One To Joe One

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Food & Drink

(I’m a cashier at a coffee chain. Our location is popular so the line is usually long. I overhear the following conversation between two customers.)

Customer #1: “Why is the line in this place always so long?! I’ll never understand it!”

Customer #2: “Well, sir, do you like coffee?”

Customer #1: “Of course! Why else would I be here?”

Customer #2: “Well, could it be possible that there are other people who like coffee as well?”

Customer #1: “Oh. Right.”

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