No Such Thing As A Stupid Question

| Right | February 10, 2014

604356

Way South Of Average Intelligence

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | February 10, 2014

(I am a light-skinned South African living in the United States. I occasionally get to perform my own music in a local hip-hop-oriented bar. I try to keep my lyrics clean of profanities, which is unusual for this audience.)

Bar Patron #1: “It’s nice to hear some clean hip-hop here for a change.”

Me: “Thanks. I just don’t see the need for me to swear, since most of my songs are about partying and that sort of light stuff.”

Bar Patron #2: “Usually with the people who perform here, it’s ‘n-word this’, and ‘n-word that’.”

Me: *laughing* “Can you imagine, a white South African using that word a whole bunch of times?”

Bar Patron #2: “I know you could do that if you wanted to, since your country is run by African-Americans and all, but it’s nice that you don’t.”

Me: “… Oh boy.”

1 Thumbs
1,427
VOTES

It’s Off Season

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Right | February 10, 2014

Customer: “I see that your chicken caesar salads come with either cajun or garlic chicken. I don’t like garlic and I don’t like spice, so can I just get plain chicken?”

Me: “Of course. I’ll let the kitchen know. So, absolutely no seasoning on it?”

Customer: “Yes, thank you.”

Me: *after the customer has received her food* “How is your salad tasting?”

Customer: “It’s fine, but the chicken is a little bland.”

1 Thumbs
1,296
VOTES

Won’t Like The State Of The Pizza

| Greeley, CO, USA | Right | February 10, 2014

(I am a delivery driver on a delivery, and am unable to find the house that I am looking for, so I call the customer for help.)

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hi. This is the delivery driver in charge of delivering your pizza. Unfortunately, I’m a little stuck. I can’t seem to find your house. Could you verify your address for me?”

Customer: “Yeah, no problem! It’s [address].”

Me: “Okay. Well, that’s the same address that I have and I’m pretty sure I’m in the right place but I don’t see that address.”

Customer: “Oh, it’s pretty hard to see my house at night especially because there are no street light near me. I’ll come outside to meet you.”

(I am thoroughly confused by this because it is only six pm and the sun is still up.)

Me: “Excuse me, but it sounded like you said it was dark out so I wasn’t able to see your house?”

Customer: “Yeah. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you or anything.”

Me: “No, no. That’s not the problem. Could you tell me what city your in?”

Customer: “Um… I’m in Boston, Massachusetts. Where the h*** are you?”

Me: “Sir, you called the [Pizza Shop] in Greeley, Colorado.”

Customer: “Oh… I was wondering why the area code wasn’t normal.”

1 Thumbs
2,566
VOTES

Putting The Ink Into Think

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Right | February 10, 2014

(We are the IT support for the British Army. Units not in our immediate area have to bring the equipment into our workshops for us to look at it. One day, we get a laptop printer brought in from a town quite a distance away. My workshop manager decides to look at it himself as it’s a slow day. The printer is picking paper up but not actually printing anything on it.)

Manager: “Easiest job I think we’ve ever had. Would you contact the unit to send someone to pick it up?”

Me: “What was the problem with it?”

Manager: “The owner forgot to remove the plastic strip from the bottom of his new ink cartridge!”

(The printer was returned with half a ream of test printouts which all read: ‘I must remove all packaging from the printer cartridges.’ The soldier who had to make two round trips of over 60 miles was not best pleased!)

1 Thumbs
1,520
VOTES
Page 1,780/3,888First...1,7781,7791,7801,7811,782...Last
« Previous
Next »