Future Budget Oversight Leaders Of America

| USA | Family & Kids

(I overhear a little boy around five years old asking his mother for lots of expensive toys.)

Mother: “We can’t afford six. Just pick one and put the rest back.”

Boy: “Just tell daddy to stop drinking beer this month!”

Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 6

| Washington, USA | Uncategorized

(A customer who doesn’t have an account wishes to cash a check drawn on the bank. However, because it’s a very large check, I am unable to complete the transaction without speaking to the maker of the check.)

Customer: *angry* “Give me something that says you can’t negotiate this check!”

Me: “I don’t have any kind of declined transaction form. Here’s your check back.”

(As I attempt to explain, the customer becomes more and more hostile.)

Customer: “I’d better speak to the vice president, or I’m calling the police!”

(I call the police.)

Me: “Okay, they’re on their way.”

Customer: *confused* “…who is?”

Me: “The police.”

Customer: *scared* “Wait, I didn’t say to call the police!”

Related:
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 5
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 4
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 3
Be Careful What You Ask For, Part 2
Be Careful What You Ask For

Don’t Forget To Stock Up On Salmon Cartridges

| Hagerstown, MD, USA | Technology

(A customer is sent back to my department to find ink for her printer.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. Do you need black or color?”

Customer: “I need cayenne.”

Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t know which color you mean. We have cyan; that’s a light blue.”

Customer: “No, I need cayenne. You know, like a peppery red.”

Me: “Ma’am, I don’t believe we have that color.”

(The customer bends over to get a closer look at the ink.)

Customer: “Hmmm, margarine.” *looking at the magenta* “Yellow…I don’t see cayenne.”

Me: “Are you sure you don’t mean cyan? It kinda sounds like cayenne.”

Customer: “No, I need red. My printer is out of red. Why wouldn’t you carry red ink?!” *walks out of the store before I can explain further*

Questionable Questioning

| England, UK | Language & Words

(I am in the concessions stand selling nachos.)

Me: “Do you want jalapeños?”

Customer: “Yes! Why is jalapeños pronounced like it has an ‘h’ in the beginning?”

Me: “I believe it’s a Spanish word.”

Customer: *indignant* “Well, I don’t really care.”

Size Matters, Part 7

| Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids

Small child: “Mommy! I just saw a fish that was as big as Aunt Karen!”

Mom: “There is NO fish that’s as big as Aunt Karen.”

Related:
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

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