Not Acceptable

| Right | February 18, 2014

funny-dumb-people_clickypix

Dumb Generation

| Right | February 18, 2014

funny-futurama-fry-meme-not-sure-getting-older-generation-dumb-pics

You’ve Got The Wrong(est) Number

| Right | February 18, 2014

The Bruise Is A Ruse

, | Orlando, FL, USA | Right | February 18, 2014

(The restaurant I work for allows us to dress up on Halloween, provided we do not wear a mask or anything revealing, too scary, or otherwise inappropriate. I dress up like a female biker as this is the easiest way to dress up and still follow the rules. To add little extra touches to my costume I would slap on some fake tattoos and use makeup to create a black eye. I am working drive thru and a few people comment on the black eye, but would just remark on what a good job I had done with the makeup. Then a gentleman pulls up to the window.)

Customer: “Oh, my God. Are you okay?”

Me: *joking* “Yeah. You should see the other guy, though.”

Customer: *completely serious* “You mean to tell me a MAN did that to you! I thought you got into a fight with another girl!”

Me: “No, sir. No one did this to me. It’s makeup.”

Customer: “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if someone is hitting you.”

Me: “I’m perfectly aware of that, sir, but I assure you it’s just makeup. See?”

(I wipe my finger on the ‘bruise’ and show him the color on my finger.)

Customer: “Oh, okay. I thought I was going to have to beat someone up for you.”

Me: “I can tell you right now: if someone ever hit me I would make sure they SERIOUSLY regretted it immediately!”

Customer: “I bet you would!”

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Losing Their Financial Puppy Fat

| ME, USA | Right | February 18, 2014

(It should be noted that I’m a bleeding heart and I cry easily. It’s a really slow night, so I get pretty excited when I see a dad and his daughter, who looks to be about seven, approaching my line. The dad leans in close to me to whisper.)

Dad: “She’s been saving her money up for a while to buy this stuff. Can you split the payment to do her $8.00 in cash and the rest on my card?”

Me: “Of course I can! I have to do the cash first, though.”

Dad: “Perfect. I also have some things to buy in a separate transaction.”

(The girl starts emptying a small purse of money: a few dollar bills but mostly coins. I’m thinking the girl was saving for some toys and art supplies from our kids’ section but after she’s done emptying her purse, she places on the counter pet supplies: a collar, a leash, our most expensive dog bone, and shampoo.)

Girl: “I love my puppy, so I’m buying him some presents!”

Me: “Wow! Gosh, that’s really sweet of you! It must have taken a lot of hard work and dedication to save up this much!”

Girl: *nodding* “I didn’t buy any candy or anything.”

(Her father winks at me and nods toward the big stack of junk food he’s placed on the other end of the counter. I grin and start ringing the girl’s order up while she counts. She gets to $8, mostly in pennies, and scoops it all up to hand to me.)

Girl: “Here, miss. I’d like to pay, please.”

Me: “I think I can help with that! So that’s $8.”

(Her dad pays for the rest of the order on his card and then I start ringing up the snacks.)

Dad: “Thank you for being so patient.”

Me: “Please, sir, it’s no trouble at all. It’s a really slow night, and I have a dog myself. She could have taken all the time in the world, if she’d wanted to!”

(The girl giggles and hugs her bag close to her. Father and daughter both thank me, and after they leave my manager approaches me.)

Manager: “Want to go take five to cry in the bathroom?”

Me: *tearing up as she speaks* “Yeah, I’d really appreciate that. Thank you.”

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