Fast Food And Speed Dating

| Oklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance

Me: “Okay, you want a hamburger, hold the onions, with mustard and regular fries.”

Customer: “That’s right.”

Me: “Can I have a date?”

Customer: “Oh no, you’re much too old for me.”

Me: “A birth date. So we can call out your order. Like October 22nd?”

(After the customer leaves, the owner turns to me.)

Owner: “She could have at least lied and said she was already with someone.”

Totally Nuts

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(I work in the produce department of a large chain supermarket. As usual, greeting customers as they come in is a pretty common experience and the response is almost always the same. However, tonight, you could say, was a change of pace.)

Me: “Hi, sir, how are you today?”

Guy: “It’s cold as h*** in here! Is your nut-sack shriveled up in your belly like mine is?”

Arts And Crafts Is So Rock And (Toilet) Roll

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I run into a customer coming out of the store bathroom. She’s clutching two empty toilet paper rolls and looks angry. I’m expecting her to round on me about no toilet paper in the stalls.)

Customer: “You work in a craft store. How can you let people just throw these away!?”

(The customer puts them in her shopping basket and stalks off. It left me wondering what craft is so awesome that the finished product would negate the ick-factor of digging through a public toilet’s trash bags.)