When Humans Fail The Turing Test

, | Hertfordshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Technology

(I work on the drive thru.)

Me: “Hi there, can I take your order?”

Customer: “HELLO?”

Me: “Hi, can I take your order please?”

Customer: “CAN YOU HEAR ME?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I can hear you. Can I help you?”

Customer: “I WANT TO PLACE AN ORDER.”

Me: “Umm, yeah, can I take your order please?”

Customer: “CAN I PLACE MY F****** ORDER?”

Me: “Sir, can you hear me? I’m asking for your order?”

Customer: “OF COURSE I CAN F****** HEAR YOU! I’M NOT DEAF! I JUST WANT A CHEESEBURGER! THAT’S ALL I WANT!”

Me: “Okay, sir, drive to the first window to pay.”

(The customer drives around, and looks furious. He pays by card.)

Customer: “It says ‘insert card’.”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, does that mean now?!”

Me: “Yes, sir, please insert your card and follow the instructions.”

Customer: “Well now it’s saying ‘please wait’!”

Me: “Yes, the machine is just checking your card. Please wait.”

Customer: “‘Insert pin,’ does it mean the pin for this card, or my credit card?”

Me: “It means insert your pin for the card in the machine.”

(The customer finally pays and drives off, only to return moments later.)

Me: “Hello, sir, can I help?”

Customer: “HELLO?! HELLO ORDER-ROBOT! THIS CHEESEBURGER HAS PICKLES; I DON’T WANT PICKLES! AND I DIDN’T GET MY FRIES AND DRINK! ORDER-ROBOT, WHO DO I SPEAK TO?”

Me: “Sir, you can speak to me! I’m a person not a robot. We can correct your order for you, but you only got a cheeseburger because that’s what you ordered.”

Customer: “ORDER ROBOT, I WANT KETCHUP FOR MY FRIES! F****** machines are useless!”

How To Deflate The Bag

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in the produce section of a grocery store. I have just witnessed a customer pretty much destroy our bagged-salad section. The customer is just pulling bags out of their holders and dropping them where ever, and quite obviously on purpose. The customer has no idea I’ve been watching her. After she stops her destruction, I head over to put it back together. The customer comes back, and starts a conversation.)

Customer: “It’s just a shame that someone would do that to you! I can’t believe some people!”

Me: “Bah, it’s not really a big deal.”

Customer: “…not really a big deal?”

Me: “No, not at all. I look at it this way: If a customer has to get their kicks by coming into this grocery store and trying to get a rise out of the employees by messing up a portion of the store, then that customer’s life is obviously more pathetic than mine.”

Customer: *open mouthed stare*

Me: “So, was there anything else you needed tonight?”

Customer: “No… thanks…”

A Directionless Conversation, Part 2

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(We are a tourist park, and have a café which is situated just outside so that people can use it without paying to go in. The café is right next door to the entrance; you have to walk past it to come in.)

Customer: “Is there a café here?”

Me: “Yes, there is. It’s just next door.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “Right next door.”

Customer: *confused* “Next door?”

Me: “Yes, it’s the building next to this one.”

Customer: “So, we have to go out?”

Me: “Yes. You go out of this building, and it’s in the only other one.”

Customer: “So, it’s out of here and next door.?”

Me: “Yes. Go out of here, and look right. You’ll see it.”

(The customer walks out, looking confused.)

Coworker: “What’s the betting she’ll get lost?”

Related:
A Directionless Conversation