One, Two, Skip A Few

| Livingston, NJ, USA | Uncategorized

Me: *answering the phone* “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “What are your hours?”

Me: “We’re open from 9 to 10 every day.”

Customer: “You’re only open for one hour?!”

Me: “Oh, no, 9 AM to 10 PM.”

Customer: “That’s only one hour!”

May Top Story Roundup: Skyrim, Smoothies, Soap, Shadows, And Slips!

, , , , | Not Always Right | Roundups

May Top Story Roundup: From running thieves to running children, May’s top stories were filled with customers with nothing mentally running upstairs!

  1. Dovahkiin’s Day Off:
    A video game thief gets taken down, Dragonborn-style, by an unexpected hero.
  2. The Golden Rude:
    A delicious tale of a rude coffee customer getting what he deserves!
  3. Self Disservice:
    “Employees Must Wash Hands” and “Entitled Customers” don’t mix!
  4. Dumb Without Shadow Of A Doubt:
    A sandwich shop customer gets stupid over a shadow.
  5. Traveling At The Speed Of Stupid:
    An irresponsible parent slips up big time with her bratty offspring!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Fajita Me Not

| Boone, NC, USA | Food & Drink

(I am working to-go service at an chain restaurant. Note that we’re three doors down from another similar chain-restaurant that also has to-go service.)

Customer: “I’m here to pick up my to-go order.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. No one has placed a to-go order with me tonight. When exactly did you call and who did you talk to?”

Customer: *irate* “I called 10 minutes ago and I talked to you! I recognize your voice. Where is my to-go order?!”

Me: “Ma’am, my phone hasn’t rung once in two hours. Can you please let me know what you would like? I will have the kitchen rush make it for you.”

Customer: “I ordered the fajitas. I just talked to you 10 minutes ago, where are my fajitas?!”

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have fajitas on the menu here.”

Customer: “Bulls***! You have them! I ordered them from you 10 minutes ago!”

Me: “Ma’am, are you sure you didn’t place your to-go order with [restaurant three doors down]? I know that they have fajitas and they also have to-go service.”

Customer: “No! I talked to you! Where are my fajitas?”

(This continues for another 10 minutes until finally, I just pick up the phone and call the other restaurant.)

Me: *on the phone* “Do you have a to-go order under the name [patron] for some fajitas?”

Other Restaurant: “Yes, we have her order right here. It has just been sitting here getting cold.”

Me, to Patron: “Ma’am, [restaurant three doors down] has an order under your name for some fajitas.”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t order from there. Are you guys pulling a prank on me? Just bring me my fajitas!”

Me: “No, ma’am, you placed your order with other restaurant. The only way you are going to get fajitas is if you go over there and pick them up.”

Customer: “Well, fine! But just know that I will never eat at this restaurant ever again!” *stomps out the door*

As Stupid As She Is Contagious

| Columbus, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(It’s late one evening when a customer walks into the store, obviously not feeling well. Our store emails coupons to loyal customers.)

Customer: “I have coupons but I forgot to print them out. I’m not asking for the discount today, but if I bring them in tomorrow could I still get the discount?”

Manager: “To get the discount on today’s items, you will have to have the coupons with you when you checkout.”

Customer: “You’re kidding me! So you want me to come all the way back here tonight when I’m this sick?”

(She storms to the back of the store, grabs a small bag of dog food, and tosses it roughly onto the counter.)

Customer: “Who’s your district manager? This is such crappy service! I shouldn’t even be out doing this today! I was just diagnosed with whooping cough!” *leaves*

(Both my manager and I look at each other, surprised. He takes down her information and gives her the number for the district manager.)

Me: “Why’d you take her information down?”

Manager: “So I know who to send my medical bill to if I get sick.”

Blood Money

, | Texas, USA | Health & Body

(A caller is on the phone applying for a loan. We get to the part with his income.)

Me: “Okay, where are you employed?”

Caller: “I don’t work. I sell blood.”

Me: *confused* “You mean at blood banks?”

Caller: “Sometimes at blood banks. Sometimes on the street…”

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