This Scam Is Not Ready To Roll

| UK | Right | March 27, 2014

(We are known for our breakfast rolls, which can have five different toppings. This morning two students walk in.)

Student #1: “Hi. I’ll have a breakfast roll please.”

Me: “Sure thing! What would you like on it?”

Student #1: “I’ll have sausage, bacon, beans, tomatoes and a hash brown.”

(I set about making his sandwich while my coworker serves his friend. They pay and I hand [Student #1] his sandwich. He opens the box, looks at his sandwich, nods, and goes upstairs. One hour later, he comes back down.)

Student #1: “There are no mushrooms on this.”

Me: “You didn’t ask for any.”

Student#1: “B****! I want my food for free!”

(This continues for a few minutes before I explain to the customer that I charged him for a five-item breakfast roll, so he didn’t pay for mushrooms. Regardless, at any point during the hour he’d been there he could have come down and asked for mushrooms, and he’d checked the sandwich before he went upstairs!)

Student #2: *laughs* “I told you it wouldn’t work!”

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Now Has Self-Scanning Under Their Belt

| PA, USA | Right | March 27, 2014

(I am working the self-scans when I see a customer put some grapes on the electronic scale and enter the produce number.)

Self-Scan: “Place your item on the belt.”

(The customer leaves the grapes on the scale.)

Self Scan: “If you wish to purchase this item, please place it on the belt.”

(The customer still keeps the grapes on the scale.)

Self-Scan: “Please remove all items and try again.”

(After the self-scan says this, the customer takes the grapes off the scale and places it on the belt. The customer then tries to scan another item but nothing happens.)

Self-Scan: “Please remove all items from the front belt.”

(The customer takes the grapes off the belt, places them on the scale and re-enters the produce. Once again, when the customer is told to move her item to the belt, she leaves it on the scale. She then takes the grapes from the scale and places it on the belt. Confused about what is happening, she calls me over.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am. How may I help you?”

Customer: “I keep trying to purchase these grapes but every time I put them on the belt, it tells me to take it off.”

(I put the customer’s grapes on the scale, enter the produce number, and place them on the belt when I’m told.)

Customer: “What did you do?”

Me: “I entered your grapes, weighed them, and placed them on the belt when told to.”

Customer: “But that’s what I did.”

Me: “Actually, what you did was put them on the belt after the self-scan told you to remove them.”

Customer: “So when do I put them on the belt?”

Me: “The first time it tells you to.”

Customer: “So when the self-scan tells me to put something on the belt, that’s when I do it?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

Customer: “You learn something new every day!”

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Rebirth And Return

| Seattle, WA, USA | Right | March 27, 2014

(I am working behind the counter at a high end department store when a customer comes up with a bundled up wad of faded fabric under her arm.)

Customer: “Excuse me. I need to return this dress I just bought. It doesn’t fit right.”

Me: “No problem. Do have the tags or receipt?”

Customer: “Of course! Here.”

(She hands me what I’ve asked for. They’re both incredibly old; the paper is actually yellow with age. The brand of the dress is one we haven’t carried in years.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I can’t return this.”

Customer: “What are you talking about? This store always takes returns!”

Me: “This dress is too old for me to return.”

Customer: “Impossible! I only bought it a few months ago. I live far away so I haven’t had a chance to return it until now. Here, I even have the business card of the woman who sold it to me.”

(She hands me the business card, which, while legitimate, has the company’s old logo which was switched out in 2000. It is now 2012.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but the sale is too old for the computer to recognize. I can’t return it.”

Customer: “This is unbelievable! I just bought this dress and it looks awful on me so I want to return it.”

Me: “This receipt is from 1985. You bought this dress before I was born.”

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Said No One Ever

| Right | March 26, 2014

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Prepare For Battle

| Right | March 26, 2014

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