Stripped Of All Pretensions

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Money

(My aunt sells antiques, mainly small things like Victorian era toys. She has just sold a stuffed bear for $70. The customer hands her 70 single dollar bills.)

Aunt: *joking* “Singles? What, are you a stripper?”

Customer: “Yes.”

(After my aunt’s stunned silence, the girl and she started talking. The customer was really cool about it, and not embarrassed or upset by the comment. Apparently, thanks to her profession, she pretty much pays for everything with $1 bills!)

Me No Help You

| Akron, OH, USA | Language & Words

(I work at a well known hardware store. I am putting something away, when a customer calls out to me.)

Customer: “Hey you!”

(I turn around and look.)

Customer: “You, yeah you! I’m talking to you!”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “You electric guy?”

Me: “No. You English major?”

Customer: *confused* “No?”

Me: “Didn’t think so…”

(I walk off, leaving the man to ponder.)

Displacing An Order

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I am at a local Chinese restaurant to pick up food for my office. I have done a lot of business with these folks. The young lady working seems to have trouble with her English. As I wait, another customer walks in the door.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m picking up my order my wife placed 20 minutes ago.”

Worker: “I am sorry. I have no order.”

(The customer starts getting angry, and the worker is getting upset and trying her best to accommodate him.)

Customer: “This is un-f******-believable. You people are ridiculous!”

Worker: “I am so sorry. I will make your food. What did you order?”

Customer: “You people need to get your s*** together. You need to learn how to COMMUNICATE!”

(The customer calls his wife.)

Customer: “Yeah, honey? I’m at [Chinese restaurant] getting our food. They screwed up and didn’t, wait, what? Okay…”

(The customer hangs up, suddenly looking very timid.)

Customer: “Yeah, I’m at the wrong place.”

(I feel the need to comment.)

Me: “Looks like you need to learn how to COMMUNICATE.”

(I then grab my food, tip the worker a comfortable amount, and walk out. I can see the smirk on her face, and the embarrassment radiating from the customer.)