One Bloody Scary On The Shocks

| Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working at the bar on a particularly busy night and I don’t realise that I have cut one of my fingers. As I hand a customer his drink, I notice a bit of blood on the glass.)

Me: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I must have cut myself. Let me remake that for you!”

Customer: “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

Me: “No, I cut myself and there’s a bit of blood on that glass. Please, let me give you a new one.”

(Before I can take the glass back, the customer picks it up.)

Customer: “I like it this way. Don’t worry!”

Me: “But—”

(The customer turns the glass around and drinks from the side with my blood.)

Customer: *grinning* “Mmmm, delicious! Thanks!”

Me: *horrified*

Cool, Cream, And Corrected

| Maine, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

(At the coffee shop where I work, my coworker, Coworker #1, is from South America. He has a very thick accent, but his English comprehension and speech is otherwise perfect. A customer comes through drive-thru and orders two extra large coffees with a whopping eight servings of cold cream. A few moments later, he comes back to complain.)

Customer: “I have a problem!”

Coworker #1: “What’s the issue, sir?”

Customer: “My coffee is stone cold!”

Coworker #1: “Okay, I’ll remake that for you. It was eight creams, right?”

Customer: “Yes, and I’d like them to be actually warm this time.”

Coworker #1: *remakes both coffees* “Here you are. Have a good day!”

(The man leaves, but comes back a few minutes later. He’s still fuming. Another coworker of mine helps him.)

Customer: “This is unacceptable!”

Coworker #2: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “You can remake my coffee again, and this time I’d like it to not be so godd*** cold!”

Coworker #2: “Okay…” *turns to my South American coworker* “Could you remake this again? I need to finish cleaning the flavor shot station.”

Coworker #1: “Of course!”

Customer: “NO! No, he’s not touching them!”

(At this point, the manager hears the noise and comes out.)

Manager: “Okay, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “I’m so sick of your employees!”

Manager: “What’s the problem?”

Customer: “That f***ing foreigner of yours keeps f***ing up my coffees! You either need to make him learn f***ing English or send him back to wherever the f*** he came from! I want hot coffee, NOT hot coffee that’s STONE COLD!”

Manager: “Okay, firstly don’t swear at me. Secondly, he speaks and understands English perfectly so don’t say he can’t understand you. I will remake your coffees this time if it humors you. What was in them?”

Customer: “Eight creams!”

Manager: *pauses for a moment* “Seriously?”

Customer: “YES!”

Manager: “You do realize that adding EIGHT cold creams to a coffee will cool them off, right?”

Customer: “What?”

Manager: “If you add that much cream—which is chilled—to a coffee, it will cool it off. It’s not my employees’ fault. Now, have a nice day and please leave my store!”

Raceless Accusations, Part 2

| Texas, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

(On a very slow night, I’m helping our only customer with a coworker. I notice another customer enter the store, glance around, and disappear into the aisles. Once the other customer leaves, she approaches us carrying some items.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you didn’t help me when I came in.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we were helping the gentleman who just left.”

Customer: “Well, I just would like you to quit being racist and check me out.”

(My coworker and I are taken aback at the accusation, but I remain courteous.)

Me: “Um, sure.”

(At that moment, the customer sees a different coworker at a register.)

Customer: “Nevermind, I’ll just ask her.”

(The customer returns moments later, as it turns out my coworker’s register is closed. I hadn’t known the other one was closed, or else I would have warned her.)

Customer: “I can’t believe you’re all so racist here that you can’t even help me. I’ll call the NAACP on you, and they’ll crack down on this store!”

Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. Would you like me to call the manager on duty to address your concern?”

Customer: “Yes, please do.”

(I radio in our manager on duty, who comes quickly to the register. He is one of two black men with management positions in the store, and we only have four managers.)

Me: “This is our manager for tonight. [Manager on duty], this woman has a concern she would like to address.”

Manager: *smiling* “How may I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: *deflates instantly and leaves in a huff*

Related:
Raceless Accusations

The Custo-Me Is Always Right

| NY, USA | Technology

(Our store has recently put in a computerized ticketing system that shows us the numbers customers have taken. It also allows customers to place an order at a kiosk and pick it up later. The only difference to a customer coming up to the counter is the placement of the tickets, and that they now have to press a button instead of pushing a lever.)

Customer: “Why did you have to change the ticket system? It was fine the way it was!”

Coworker: “I don’t know, ma’am. They don’t tell us.”

Customer: “Yeah, well, they shouldn’t fix what isn’t broken.”

Coworker: “They just wanted the new technology, I think, so people can place orders at the kiosk now.”

Customer: “But if we want things a specific way, the kiosk is useless!”

Me: “That’s true. However, some customers like the convenience of it, especially for short trips to the store.”

Customer: “Well, I don’t use it, so it’s useless!”

Dog As I Say, Not As I Dog

| North Carolina, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(Note: our hot dogs come with chili and coleslaw on them, and customers frequently ask for them without one or the other.)

Customer: “I’ll have a hot dog with cheddar cheese and no meat.”

Me: “Sure. Do you still want the coleslaw?”

Customer: “Yes, and be sure to toast the bun.”

(I put her order in, and return a short time later with a hot dog in a toasted bun with cheese and coleslaw.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I asked for no meat. This has meat on it.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, I thought you meant you didn’t want the chili. Could you explain to me what it is you’d like?”

Customer: “Well, I said no meat! Take the hot dog out!”

Me: “Okay, so just to be clear: you want a toasted hot dog bun with cheese and coleslaw… but no hot dog?”

Customer: “Yes! Is that so hard?”

Me: “I’m so sorry for the misunderstanding. Would you like me to bring you a grilled cheese sandwich with coleslaw in it? It would be less expensive.”

Customer: “I specifically asked for a hot dog. A grilled cheese is not a hot dog!”

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