Time To Play The Trump Card

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Right | April 1, 2014

(I am at the register at work putting through a sale. The customer’s card has declined twice but instead of getting embarrassed or giving me another card like most people, this guy decides to get angry.)

Customer: “No, I don’t want to use another card!”

Me: “Then how would you like to pay sir? I do accept cash.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Your machine is broken!”

Me: “I assure you it isn’t broken. The person before you paid by card and it went through perfectly.”

Customer: “Then you’re not doing your job!”

Me: *losing the friendly retail face and looking him dead in the eye* “Sir, I’ve worked in retail for 10 years. I have bought goods and services for 15 years. I know how to use an eftpos machine. I cannot be held responsible for your card. Perhaps you should contact your bank on Monday?”

(The customer leaves in a huff after throwing some cash at me.)

Next Person In Line: “Jesus, what was HIS problem? It’s an eftpos machine, not a freakin’ tardis!”

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Selling Foot In Mouth Disease

| Minneapolis, MN, USA | Right | April 1, 2014

Me: “Hello! How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’m looking for some shoes for work and I heard you had comfortable ones.”

Me: “We certainly do. May I ask what your profession is?”

Customer: “Oh I don’t have a profession right now. I just need something I can wear to work in retail until I get a real job.”

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The Land Of The Free From Thought

| USA | Right | April 1, 2014

(I am the manager at a discount department store, and one of our regular customers is a little bit flaky. She often talks to herself, repeating herself over and over.)

Customer: “Where are you from? What country do you come from?”

Me: “I was born in Colorado.”

Customer: “You need to go back to your country at once. America is for Americans.”

Me: “Colorado IS in America.

Customer: “You must go back! You must go back! You must go back!”

(She continues this ad nauseam until she finally leaves. A few weeks later she returns and purchases some items. Her total is $7.60 or so, and one of the coins she hands me is a Canadian quarter. I calmly inspect said quarter, and hand it back.)

Me: “I can’t accept this coin. Here in America, we only accept AMERICAN currency. If you want to spend the Canadian currency, perhaps you should, you know, go back to Canada to do so.”

(I haven’t had a problem with her since.)

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Taxing Faxing, Part 12

| NH, USA | Right | April 1, 2014

(I work in a small public library with a self-service fax machine. The machine walks you through sending a fax with an automated verbal prompt. A coworker comes to find me at my desk.)

Coworker: “Can you lift the fax machine up?”

Me: “What? Why?”

Coworker: “She got her card stuck in it.”

(Our fax machine does not have a credit card reader. Now confused, I approach the patron.)

Me: “What seems to be the problem here?”

Patron: “My card is stuck in the fax machine.”

Me: “Can you show me where?”

(She points to the paper feed.)

Me: *digging the card from the machine* “How did this happen?”

Patron: “The voice said, ‘put in the card number,’ so I put the card in the machine.”

Me: “Miss, it doesn’t scan the card. It scans the pages you want to fax. You have to manually type the card number using the number keys on the pad.”

(The patron gives me a dumbfounded look.)

Me: *pointing to the numbers* “The numbers on the front of your credit card are the actual account number. That’s how the machine knows to charge your account.”

(Same dumbfounded look.)

Me: *sigh* “Here, let me help you…”

 

15 Things I Always Wanted To Say To Customers When I Worked In Retail

| Right | March 31, 2014

15 Things I Always Wanted To Say To Customers When I Worked In Retail:

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Read The Article Here:

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