Cuffed Red-Handed

| Nantes, France | Criminal & Illegal, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I occasionally hire the 19-year-old niece of one of my friends to help me around the store during vacations. She’s quite frail and shy, but it isn’t too much of a problem since many of my customers are regulars and know (and like) her. One busy day, a peculiar lady whom I’ve never seen comes in and goes straight to the girl.)

Customer: “I want a double cheeseburger, a Coke, and a chocolate donut.”

Niece: “Um…I think we’re out of chocolate donuts. I’m going to check. Please wait a minute, ma’am.”

Customer: *bluntly* “Yeah, you do that.”

Niece: *runs to the back*

Customer: *whispering* “Useless b****.”

(When my niece comes back several minutes later, the customer gives her an icy stare.)

Niece: *nervously* “I’m very sorry, ma’am. It seems we’re out of stock. May I suggest you another dess—”

Customer: “You useless little s***! Every time I come here, I find what I want. Just admit you suck at your job.”

Niece: “B-but I—”

Customer: “Don’t interrupt me, you b****! Either get me my food now, or I’ll make sure your skinny little a** gets fired!”

Niece: *almost crying* “Ma’am, please—”

Customer: “You interrupted me again, you s***!”

(Before I can do anything, the customer PUNCHES my niece in the face, hard enough to make the girl fall on her back and hit her head on a cooler. However, two of my regulars, who are uniformed policemen, grab the customer.)

Customer: “What are you doing?!”

Regular #1: “Ma’am, what you just did is an aggravated assault. If this girl is seriously wounded, you face a fine and jail time. Please don’t resist.”

Customer: “Oh yeah?! Tough luck proving that without any police around, jacka**!”

Regular #2: *handcuffs the customer* “Ma’am, we are police officers.”

Customer: *almost faints*

(My friend’s niece ended up breaking her glasses and four of her teeth due to her fall. She refused to come back to work after that, which saddened both me and the regulars. At least she got a small measure of justice thanks to the police officers.)

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Weekly Roundup: So Long, Sexism

, , , , , | Not Always Right | Bigotry, Roundups

So Long, Sexism: This week, we feature five stories of employees dealing with (and often overcoming) sexist remarks from customers!

  1. The Estrogen Empire Strikes Back:
    A sexist fast food customer faces women in power–everywhere!
  2. The Land Of Milk And Money:
    Don’t have a cow, man–ladies understand farming, too.
  3. Cross-Platform Chromosomes:
    Games may be platform-specific, but video gamers are gender neutral!
  4. Now Accepting Immigrants From Femmerica:
    News flash from Bigotland: half of America ain’t American.
  5. The Spice Girls Have A Lot To Answer For:
    Yes, “Ladies go first”–except when they’re cutting in line!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

The Time Traveler’s Strife

| Provo, UT, USA | Extra Stupid

Me: “Thank you for calling [bookstore]. This is [name], how can I help you?”

Customer: “I’d like to order 20 copies of [title].”

(I look it up.)

Me: “I’m sorry sir, it looks like that book is out of print.”

Customer: “It can’t be out of print! I have a copy of it right here in my hand!”

Would You Like Brains With That

, | England, UK | Food & Drink

(Our store usually sells side orders with several meals: three hot and one cold. One night, both of our microwaves have broken so we can only offer coleslaw.)

Me: “Unfortunately all our hot sides are gone today. I’m afraid I can only offer you coleslaw or extra fries as options.”

Customer: “Can I swap the coleslaw for a gravy?”

Me: “I’m afraid not; all our hot sides are unavailable. Are you okay with coleslaw or extra fries?”

Customer: “Oh, no hot sides…can I have beans, then?”

Me: “No. Sorry, as I mentioned you can only choose from coleslaw or extra fries. So, which would you like?”

Customer: “I don’t really like coleslaw or fries…can I have a corn instead?”

Me: “Um, no, you can’t. As I’ve already explained, we don’t have any hot side orders: just coleslaw or extra fries today. I’m sorry about that.”

Customer: “Well, you should have said something, then!”

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