Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories

Not Always Right | Holidays, Roundups

Weekly Roundup: Top 5 Funny Fall-Themed Stories! In this week’s roundup, we share five funny seasonal stories about fall/autumn!

  1. A Good Chance Of A Falling Out (4,082 thumbs up)
  2. A Pal-Tree Understanding Of Plants (2,171 thumbs up)
  3. Window Pains (1,106 thumbs up)
  4. Someone’s Been Pumpkin At The Gym (1,505 thumbs up)
  5. Happy PTLBOTT Day! (2,715 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Pen-ding Emergency

| Canada | Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

(I work at a call center for an oil and gas company.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] emergency line. Are you reporting an emergency?”

Caller: “Yes, very urgent.”

Me: “Alright, I’ll just need to gather some details in case we are disconnected. May I please have your first and last name?”

Caller: *angry* “You don’t need my name!”

Me: “Not a problem; may I please have your telephone number with area code?”

Caller: “No! You don’t need that either. Just f****** help me!”

Me: “Alright, ma’am, what is nature of the emergency?”

Caller: “My pen broke. I need a new one right now.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am; this is an oil and gas emergency line. We’d be unable to assist with getting you a new pen.”

Caller: “No, f*** you! You gave me this pen last week and it broke already. How am I supposed to play with my cat now?”

Me: “I’m sorry; this is an emergency line. I can provide you the main office number where they may be able to locate you a new pen.”

Caller: “Are you serious? I can’t play with my cat and you don’t think this is an emergency?”

Me: “No, ma’am, this issue would not be considered an emergency.”

Caller: “Well f*** you then. I hope you’re happy; you’ve killed my cat!” *slams down the receiver*

That Kind Of Behavior Is Just Not Cricket

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Geography

(I’m standing in line at a corner shop. The customer at the till is a typical 40-something skinhead, wearing an England football shirt. He’s harassing the cashier because of the difference between the display price of a packet of cigarettes, and what he’s being charged.)

Customer: “THIS IS F****** RIDICULOUS! IT’S ILLEGAL!”

Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but due to the changes in taxes, we’ve had to increase the price. We haven’t had time to change the signs yet.”

Customer: “THAT’S BULLSHIT! YOU’RE NOT FROM HERE! WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

(The cashier isn’t ethnically British, but he’s been working at the store for a few years now and is a pretty decent guy.)

Cashier: “That doesn’t matter, sir. Could you just pay for your items?”

Customer: “I SAID WHERE ARE YOU FROM?!”

Cashier: *rolling his eyes* “Sri Lanka.”

(The customer tries to think of an insult using the tiny amount of brainpower not given over to alcohol and rage.)

Customer: “…yeah … well your cricket team is s***!”

(The customer then storms off after paying for the cigarettes. I go up to the register.)

Me: “Didn’t Sri Lanka just win the Cricket World Cup?”