Not Noteworthy Enough For A Return

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Right | April 2, 2014

(I work as a cashier in a drugstore. I see a customer come in the front door empty handed as he goes to the back of the store. He comes to me with a pricey protein pack.)

Customer: “I want my money back for that protein pack. It’s $60.”

Me: “Do you have your invoice?”

Customer: “No, I forgot it at home.”

Me: “I can’t pay you back.”

Customer: “Keep it for me. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

(The customer comes back 15 minutes later.)

Customer: “I didn’t find the receipt, but I’m going to buy it instead.”

Me: “It’s going to cost $60.”

(The customer hands me a $100 bill.)

Me: “I can’t accept that. It’s a fake.”

Customer: “No, I’m sure it’s real. How can you tell?”

Me: “You only printed it on one side, and it’s black and white.”

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Random Worker At The Grocery Store

| Right | April 2, 2014

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I Steal Toilet Paper

| Right | April 2, 2014

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Shouting Out Hot Gas

| North Rhine Westphalia, Germany | Right | April 2, 2014

(Our call centre deals with emergency calls from people who smell gas in their homes.)

Me: “This is [Company]. My name is [My Name]. What seems to be the problem?”

Caller: “Uhm, yes. I just wanted you to know that it smells strange in my basement. I think it may be gas.”

Me: “Okay. Please give me your address, open all windows, and avoid plugging or unplugging any electronic devices. Our on-call service will be with you within 30 minutes.”

Caller: *gives address* “… Wait, did you said that you will be here in half an hour?”

Me: “Yes, as requested by law.”

Caller: “Wait, no! I can’t stay at home. You need to come later! Can’t I make an appointment?”

Me: “This is an emergency line. Once you reported the incident, we have to act. You can’t leave your house now.”

Caller: “But my son needs to see his music teacher! He’s going to be the next Mozart. You’ll see!”

Me: “Still, you are not allowed to leave. In case you won’t be there, we have to cut your gas line due to secur—”

Caller: “NO! You won’t come NOW! This is your customer’s service?! I will tell all my friends and no one will ever call you again!”

(After that she hung up. Fortunately, the mechanic met her at the door and could check her installation. It was leaky. She still refused to stay, so we shut her down. She wasn’t pleased.)

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More Thanks-taking Than Thanksgiving

, , | Kansas City, Mo, USA | Right | April 2, 2014

(I am working in a grocery store meat department on Thanksgiving day, stocking the hams and turkeys as fast as I can. I have just announced over the speaker that we have five fresh, unfrozen turkeys left, and we are waiting for the rush of people to get them. When there is only one left, predictably two customers grab for it.)

Customer #1: “Hey, this is mine. I saw it before you did.”

Customer #2: “No way! I walked all the way across the store to get it. It’s mine! I’m going home with it.”

Customer #1: “Why don’t you get a ham or something? I need this turkey for my dinner tonight. You can get something else.”

Customer #2: “Listen, you fat cow, you can buy the f****** ham. I’m getting this turkey.”

(At this point I figure I’d better get involved and run over.)

Me: “Ladies, we do have fresh turkey breasts available as well as hams and ducks. There are even a couple of geese leftover—”

Customer #2: “F*** you! I’m getting this d*** turkey and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

([Customer #2] then shoved her cart into the other woman, causing her to fall into the display of stuffing next to her, and ran off with the turkey. Hoping it was over, I went to help [Customer #1] get up, but she slapped my hand, got to her feet, and tackled the other customer. I called security. Before they could get there I saw that [Customer #3] had spotted [Customer #1]’s now abandoned cart and purse. She ran over and dumped [Customer #1]’s purse into her own and then grabbed just about everything out of her cart, including a bag of prescription medication, before running off. I shouted at her but she disappeared into a crowd of people. [Customers #1 and #2] were by then rolling on the floor in the bread aisle while security was trying to pull them apart. While this went on, [Customer #4] approached [Customer #2]’s cart and grabbed the turkey and most everything in her cart. Security eventually pulled them apart and they were both arrested. Sadly, [Customer #3], who stole [Customer #1]’s purse, was never caught as the cart was in a blind spot.)

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