2 Years Of Wrong Numbers

| Right | April 3, 2014

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Just So I’m Not Alone

| Right | April 3, 2014

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April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!

Not Always Right | Right | April 3, 2014
Want to win a Not Always Right t-shirt?
Enter Not Always Right’s April Themed Story Giveaway:
Creepy Customers!

Entering is as easy as 1-2-3:

  1. Submit a funny or interesting story about creepy customers. Whether they make inappropriate comments, strange flirtations, or are just down-right disturbing, we want to hear about it.
  2. Enter your email address in the form to qualify.
  3. All posted stories will be entered in a drawing to win a free t-shirt gift certificate, to use in the official Not Always Right shop!

PS: Congratulations to a lucky reader for winning March’s Themed Story Giveaway, which featured stories about Man vs. Machine. The winning submission: Technology That Makes You Cry (929 thumbs up).

PS #2: winners will be announced the first Wednesday of every month. Next free t-shirt gift certificate: Wednesday, May 7!

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6

| MO, USA | Right | April 2, 2014

(I’m not a thin woman, but never considered myself to be HUGE. I have polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and it makes it very hard to get my weight to go down, so I’m kind of touchy about it.)

Customer #1: “Aw, when are you due?”

Me: “I’m sorry. Were you just talking to me?”

Customer #1: “Yes, when is your baby due?”

Me: *quietly, so as not to embarrass either of us any further* “I’m not pregnant, miss; I’m just a little large.”

Customer #1: *quite loudly* “What! That’s not a little large. You’re huge! You look like you could pop at any second!”

Me: “Um, well, I’m sorry, but I’m not pregnant, and I’d appreciate it if you’d keep your comments to yourself.”

Customer #1: “It is my duty by God to inform you that you are living an unhealthy lifestyle and gluttony will lead you straight to Hell. What do you weigh? 500lbs!?”

Me: *now on the verge of tears, as EVERY customer is looking at us* “Ma’am, please keep your voice down. First off, no, I weigh 220lbs. I lead a very active lifestyle. I have a disease that makes it hard for me to lose weight. Please, you’re embarrassing me.”

(Another customer, who has witnessed the conversation, approaches.)

Customer #2: “Miss, you need to stop. I can clearly see your upsetting her.”

Customer #1: “NO! She must learn the dangers of her ways. It’s not too late for her to repent and change. You get down on your knees right now and beg God for forgiveness and you’ll be saved.”

(At this, she actually pulls a bible from her bag and starts waving it at me.)

Me: “Ma’am, please just buy your items. You’re upsetting me. Please.”

Customer #2: “Ma’am, I’m going to call the police if you do not stop this.”

(I am now crying as the customer is reading furiously from one random passage of the bible, almost screaming. She notices I have a bowl of candy on the table next to the register. She picks it up and flings it.)

Customer #1: “You see! It’s these that cause that! Gluttony! You’ll burn if you don’t repent!”

Me: “Those are for children! I don’t even like suckers!”

Customer #2: *tries to take her by the arm and lead her from the store she smacks him in the head with her bible*

Manager: *comes running from in the back* “What in the world is going on here!?”

Customer #1: “You allow sinful, gluttonous employees here! She must repent or she’ll burn in Hell! It is my duty to make her see the evil of her ways!”

(The customer now goes to the door and opens it and starts screaming this outside at everyone who walks by.)

Manager: “Ma’am, I’ve called the police. You need to leave right now. You’ve upset my employee and injured a customer.”

Customer #1: “He’s assisting the devil! He’ll burn with the harlot! You’ll all burn!”

(She rants like this for 10 more minutes before the police arrive and arrest her. The man she hit with the bible had to have dental work done on his front teeth. She was charged with disturbing the peace, harassment, resisting arrest, and assault. She was sentenced to 90 days in jail and a $2,000 fine. My boss gave me a week off with pay.)

 

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Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3

| Cleveland, OH, USA | Right | April 2, 2014

(Most of the products in our bakery are dusted with flour. I am running the register when a customer walks up with a dusted loaf of bread.)

Customer: “I wanted to ask: what is this white powder on the bread?”

Me: “It’s just flour, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh, then I can’t buy this then.”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “I’m buying this for my daughter, and she can’t eat gluten. Don’t you know? Flour has gluten in it.”

 

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