Your Query Is In Arrears

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “Is Ricky the front end supervisor?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Well, he is no good! If Ricky is the front end supervisor, is there a rear end supervisor?”

Driving You Crazy

| Columbus, OH, USA | Top

(A teenage customer comes up to our parts counter.)

Customer: “I need brakes for my car.”

Me: “No problem. What kind of car is it?”

Customer: “A Honda.”

Me: “Okay, what model?”

(She sighs dramatically and then whips out her cell.)

Customer: “Daddy, what model is my Honda?” *hangs up* “Civic.”

(I try to catch her before she hangs up.)

Me: “Is that a DX, EX or LX?”

Customer: “God!” *dials again* “Daddy, is that a DX or whatever? No, I drove it today.” *to me* “He says it’s an LX.”

Me: “Standard or automatic?”

Customer: *starts dialing*

Me: “Ma’am, if your car is here, I can come out and look this information up so you don’t have to.”

Customer: “Nah, I don’t want you to have to go to all that trouble!”

(She discovers it is an automatic, and hangs up again.)

Me: “Last question. Is that a 2-door or 4-door?”

Customer: “Sheesh!”

(She dials her phone, and repeats the question.)

Customer: “Oh.” *looks sheepish* “That was a really stupid question, wasn’t it?”

Believing In a Fare God

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Uncategorized

(I often help out with going up and down the aisles with the collection basket. A patron puts a twenty in the basket and then stops me.)

Me: “I have to get this up to the front, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, yes. Just one moment.”

(She is rooting around in the collection basket while I stand there.)

Me: “Sorry, what are you doing?”

Customer: “I need change for the bus.”

One Baby Or Less Aisle

| Round Rock, TX, USA | Uncategorized

(I am checking out a mother with an infant son.)

Mother: “I have a question. Will you guys take cute as payment?”

(My manager is standing behind me.)

Manager: “We’ll take him.”

At The Tipping Point

| MI, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a custard shop. With every cone we hand out to a customer, we have to inform them to hold it straight up. Otherwise, the custard could slide off the cone.)

Me: “Alright, sir. Here is your cone. Be sure to hold it straight up.”

Customer #1: “Thank you, and will do!”

(His girlfriend is standing next to him, still deciding on what to order.)

Customer #1: “Have you decided yet, dear?”

Customer #2: “No.”

Me: “Would you like to try a sample of anything?”

Customer #2: “No, I’ll just try some of his.”

(She proceeds to swipe it out of his hands. She tips the cone completely sideways as she is trying to taste it. The custard slides off and falls all over her shirt.)

Customer #1: “What are you doing?!”

Customer #2: “It’s not my fault! She never said that it would fall!”

Customer #1: “Of course she did! You were standing right here!”

Me: “It’s okay. I can remake it for you no problem! This usually happens.”

Customer #2: “Oh, so this kind of thing happens daily?”

(I didn’t know how to tell her that while it does happen daily, it is usually just with toddlers.)