I Don’t Work Here Does Not Work Here, Part 13

| IN, USA | Crazy Requests

(My roommate and I are doing some shopping at a popular supermarket chain. The employees wear red shirts with white name tags. My roommate works at a day spa and hasn’t changed out of her uniform yet, which is a black dress with a bronze name tag. As we are heading to check out, an elderly woman grabs my friend’s arm.)

Woman: “Can you tell me where the house robes are?”

My Roommate: “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”

(The woman is still holding on to my friend’s arm, so my friend gently pulls herself loose.)

Woman: “Excuse me! I asked you a question!”

My Roommate: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I really don’t know where they are. I don’t work here.”

(At this point, a store employee has noticed us and approaches.)

Employee: “Can I help you ladies?”

Woman: “This lady won’t help me find the house robes! She isn’t doing her job. I asked a simple question, and she’s ignoring me to hang out with her little friend instead. I want to speak to a manager.”

Employee: “Ma’am, I don’t believe she works here.”

Me: “She doesn’t.”

Woman: “Well, then why is she wearing a name tag?”

My Roommate: “I work at a day spa down the street and I haven’t had time to change out my uniform yet.”

Woman: “Oh. How was I supposed to know that?”

(She’s being very rude and I’m getting fed up with it.)

Me: “Because her uniform looks absolutely nothing like his?”

Woman: “Excuse me? I won’t be talked to like that.”

Employee: “Ma’am, I apologize for this misunderstanding. If you’ll come with me, I’ll show you the—”

Woman: “No! I want to see a manager! I want both of these girls fired!”

My Roommate: “Neither of us work here!”

Related:
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 12
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 11
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 10
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 9
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 8
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 7
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 6
I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 5

Baby On Board (The Bus)

| Halifax, NS, Canada | Health & Body, Top, Transportation

(I am 27 weeks pregnant and starting to have contractions. I am on the bus on my way to the hospital. The driver is aware of this. I pull the buzzer to get off the bus and start walking to the door.)

Driver: *to me* “You sit back down!” *to the rest of the bus* “Is anyone going to need any of the next four stops? Because if so, I suggest you get off now, as we are detouring!”

(The driver then takes us directly to the hospital. He stops the bus, gets out of his seat, walks me down the steps, and into the hospital! The next day I am still in the hospital. I call up the transit office.)

Me: “Hi, yes. I was on bus [number] yesterday evening and the driver detoured from his route for me. I just wanted to make sure he is not in trouble. Because of him, they were able to save the life of my unborn son!”

Transit Employee: “No worries, miss. We only got one complaint from a passenger. The driver called us as soon as he got back with everyone on the bus. He has been given a commendation for his actions yesterday. Thank you for calling, and take care!”

Lying Is All Relative(s), Part 2

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Liars & Scammers

(My sister and I work in a bakery owned by our family; our grandma is the owner.)

Customer: “Hi. I’m the owner’s daughter. So, I can get my food for free, okay?”

Me: “Okay. I’ll call your mother in, okay?”

(The customer nervously nods. I call in my grandma.)

Grandma: “What is it?”

Me: “Oh, this customer says you’re her mum.”

(My grandma looks at the customer.)

Grandma: “I have never seen you in my life. Also, you look about twenty. So you could pass as my granddaughter, but not as my daughter!”

(The customer ran out quickly!)

Related:
Lying Is All Relative(s)