The Replacement Has Big Shoes To Fill

| USA | Crazy Requests

(There used to be a shoe repairman in our store, but he retired over two years ago. People still come in looking for him, but usually understand that he is 90 years old, and didn’t want to continue working.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where’s the shoe repair guy?”

Me: “Oh, he retired.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Me: “He was elderly and wanted to spend more time with his family.”

Customer: “So, nobody took over? That’s stupid!”

Me: “Well, it was his business. He just rented the space in our store.”

Customer: “Well, this is very inconvenient for me. I need these shoes fixed. Where is there another cobbler?”

Me: “I think there’s one in the town center.”

Customer: “Oh, well that’s way too far to drive!”

Me: “It’s five minutes away.”

Customer: “I don’t care! This is ridiculous! I need to get my shoes fixed. You guys should have kept the shoe repairman on.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we couldn’t exactly hold him prisoner here.”

Customer: “Well, you could have tried!”

All Buttoned Up And Going Nowhere

| Madison, WI, USA | Extra Stupid, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(A guest calls from the elevator to the front desk.)

Guest: “Um yeah. Your elevator is not working.”

Me: “What seems to be wrong, ma’am?”

Guest: “It won’t move anywhere.”

Me: “Okay, I will be right down to check it out.”

(I go to the elevator. The guest is on the first floor, hitting the ‘1’ button.)

Me: “Ma’am, you are on the first floor hitting the first floor button.”

(She was quite embarrassed. I can’t say I blame her!)

Just Till-ing It Like It Is

| East Sussex, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(A customer comes in at about 2 pm; he is the only customer in the store.)

Customer: “Why is there only one person by your tills?”

Coworker: “Because it’s a quiet period. My manager and my other colleague are currently restocking the shelves.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Somebody should be on every till!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, with respect, you’re the only person in the store. Why would we need all three tills to be manned?”

Customer: “I should have the right to choose who I get served by.”

Coworker: “Well, I could buzz for my colleagues if you like?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to have to wait. I’m busy. I’m in a rush.”

Coworker: “Well, either I can buzz for my colleagues or I can serve you and you can get on with your day. Which would you prefer?”

Customer: “NEITHER! I WANT TO CHOOSE MY TILL!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, those are my only two options. My colleagues aren’t at the till. If you want a choice, I can buzz them and they’ll get here within twenty seconds, or I can serve you and you can be out of the store and getting on with your day within twenty seconds. The choice is utterly yours.”

Customer: “I can’t believe your service is so poor. You know what? I don’t even want this!”

(The customer puts down a bottled drink.)

Customer: “I will just have a drink when I get home.”

(By now, my manager and I have heard the commotion. We come over after the customer leaves.)

Manager: “What just happened?”

Coworker: “I… I’m not sure.”