Psychos Are Crazy Precise

| USA | Language & Words

(I sell jewelry at a major department store. A foreign customer comes in wanting to see some merchandise at my watch counter.)

Customer: “I want to see a Psycho!”

Me: “I beg your pardon?”

Customer: “I want to see a Psycho!”

Me: “Sir, I’m not quite comprehending.”

(He points to the watches inside my counter.)

Me: “Oh, you want to see a Seiko!”

Size Matters, Part 8

| Buffalo, NY, USA | Extra Stupid, Math & Science

(A parent is asking about a supplemental document she needs to upload for her financial aid application. She’s having a little trouble.)

Parent: “It says here that the file needs to be under 4 megabytes, but the file I need to upload is 4.49 megabytes. So, is 4.49 bigger than 4?”

Related:
Size Matters, Part 7
Size Matters, Part 6
Size Matters, Part 5
Size Matters, Part 4
Size Matters, Part 3
Size Matters, Part 2
Size Matters

The Super Leap Days

| Canada | Extra Stupid

Customer: “So, when do I have to return this equipment?”

Me: “The end of the month.”

Customer: “So, February 31st?”

Me: “No, February 28th.”

Customer: “Why?! You said the end of the month!”

They Are Not The Balls You Are Looking For

| Gulfport, MS, USA | Language & Words, Rude & Risque

(Note: I am a male. It’s the week of Easter and I’m walking through the store, when suddenly I hear someone scream at me.)

Customer: “You don’t have any balls, do you?!”

(I stop in my tracks, shocked. I turn around to see a little old lady.)

Me: *laughing, embarrassed* “Um, what?”

Customer: “Little balls!”

(She shows me how small with her fingers. I stare at her, dumbfounded, jaw-dropped, and shrug.)

Customer: “You know, the chocolate Easter balls!”

Me: *erupting in laughter* “Oh, yeah, they’re right this way…”

Urine A Lot Of Trouble Now

| Gulfport, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(A man walks to the counter and sets his item down. I grab the box without looking and scan it.)

Me: “How you doin’?”

Customer: “You tell me!”

(I look down at the box I’m holding. It reads “Urinary Pain Relief”.)

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