Price-Rise Of The Machines

| OH, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Technology

(We recently had a coupon printer installed that gives out coupons to customers. It says “Please take your coupon” whenever it prints.)

Coupon printer: “Please take your coupon.”

Customer: “NO! SHUT UP! I’M NOT TAKING MY COUPON!”

Me: “But… don’t you want your coupon? It’s good for 50 cents off a granola bar.”

Customer: “I would rather pay full price than do anything a robot tell me to!”

Don’t Get The Hump

| Boise, ID, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

(I work for an exotic petting zoo. Every Halloween, for several years, we set up our petting zoo at a maze. This particular year, I am in charge of answering questions people have about the animals. I am standing in front of the Bactrian camel—or two-humped camel&mdsh; because I am bottle feeding him. A guest walks up to the pen with two young boys in tow.)

Guest: “Look, kids, you see those humps? That’s where camels store all their water so they don’t get thirsty!”

Me: “Actually, sir, the camel stores fat in his humps. The reason camels can go so long without water is because their red blood cells are shaped like an oval, instead of ours which are circular. The shape allows the camel to hold more water in his bloodstream without bursting his blood cells.”

Guest: “You see, kids! I told you camels store water in their humps! Let’s go look at the llamas. Make sure they don’t spit on you!”

Grand Theft Innocence, Part 4

| Overland Park, KS, USA | Family & Kids, Technology, Underaged

(I am a customer browsing at a local game store, I witness an exchange between a mother and her young son, who appears to be about eight years old. The son is trying to get his mother to buy him a copy of ‘Call of Duty: Black Ops’.)

Son: “Mom, can we get this?”

Mother: “I’m not getting you that game.”

Son: “Pleeeaase?”

Mother: “No, it’s too graphic.”

Son: “It’s only 30 bucks!”

Mother: “Is there violence?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there shooting?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Is there blood?”

Employee & I: “Yep.”

Mother: “Then I’m not getting it for you.”

Son: “But I want it!”

Mother: “No, because you’re going to go to Uncle and tell him about how I got you Call of Duty: Black Ops, and then I’m going to be in trouble.”

Son: “I can just have Uncle turn the sound off the TV so I won’t hear any bad words.”

Mother: “What does that have to do with anything? Honey, it’s not the bad words I’m worried about, it’s the violence and shooting and blood!”

Son: “I swear I won’t tell Uncle!”

Mother: “No, I’m not getting you that game!”

Son: *sees ‘Grand Theft Auto IV’* “Can we get this?”

Mother: “That doesn’t look like the one we have at the house. Sure, I’ll get that for you…”

Related:
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 3
Grand Theft Innocence, Part 2
Grand Theft Innocence