Wait For The Waiter

Erie, PA, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Top

(I am seated a couple tables down from a mother with her four-year-old daughter. The daughter asks to go to the restroom, and is about to bounce out into the aisle when her mom grabs her arm.)

Mother: “Honey, look right there. Who’s that?”

Daughter: “Waitress.”

Mother: “And what’s she carrying?”

Daughter: “Tray.”

Mother: “And do you think she could see you with that great big tray in the way?”

(The little girl’s eyes go very wide, and she shakes her head.)

Mother: “You need to watch out and not get in the way of the people who work here, sweetheart. You could get hurt, and they could get in trouble for hurting you, even if it was an accident. Understand?”

(The little girl nods hard, and carefully looks both ways before starting for the bathroom. The waitress, who was bringing me my food, looks shocked.)

Waitress: “That never happens. Never.”

Me: “I bet you that mom waited tables at some point.”

(The waitress asks when she stops by to check on that family, and later tells me the mother was a waitress for three years in college, and nearly got sued for splashing hot coffee on customers when a pair of kids playing tag in the aisle tripped her!)

Time Lord Of The Ring

| Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top

(We often have contests between stores as to who can sell the most items. This week, it is a specific brand of hat. To promote sales, I am wearing one with Muhammad Ali on it. I am also female.)

Customer: *scoffs* “Why are you wearing Muhammad Ali?”

Me: “I like him.”

Customer: “Oh yeah? What did you think about the fight between him and Cassius Clay?”

Me: “I was pretty impressed, considering that I wasn’t aware that he could bend space and time to fight himself before be changed his name.”

Customer: “…whatever.”

Didn’t Rock Her History Lessons

| Crowsnest Pass, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

(Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)