Have Ambiguity, Will Travel

| Fort Collins, CO, USA | Crazy Requests, Geography

Customer: “I need some maps.”

Me: “Maps of what?”

Customer: “Places.”

Me: “What kind of places?”

Customer: “Other places!”

Great Service, With Ifs And Butts

| Tampa Bay, FL, USA | Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque

(I am a concierge at an historic hotel in the downtown area, and a common call that I receive is to deal with is customers losing items in the rooms.)

Me: “Hello, and thank you for calling [hotel]. This is [my name]. How can I be of service?”

Caller: “Hello, my name is [name] and I stayed a few nights there last weekend, from Friday to Sunday. I believe I may have, um, left some… jewellery in the room.”

Me: “Ah, well, I would be glad to ring the maid service and have them check their lost and found. Could you describe the item that you’re looking for?”

Caller: “Well, that’s the thing. You see, I kind of want you to be discreet about this.”

Me: “Of course sir; if you wish, I will check for the item myself.”

Caller: “That would be great. Now, what I’m looking for is very expensive; it’s silver with several small diamonds in it.”

Me: “Okay, sir, but what exactly is it?”

Caller: *obviously flustered at this point* “Well, um, it’s a…” *in a whisper* “…butt plug.”

Me: *I wasn’t really sure that I heard what I just heard.* “Excuse me, sir?”

Caller: “A butt plug? You know, for…”

Me:*interrupting* “Oh, yes, yes. I understand. Let me have your contact information and I will check the lost and found. But, to be honest, it is possible that it was thrown away, considering.”

Caller: “Oh, I hope not, that thing was very expensive! To be honest, I really just need to be careful where I leave that thing.”

(I almost died holding back laughter at this point.)

Caller: “Well, if it shows up you can call me at [phone number]. Thank you, young man, you’ve been very helpful. Just let me know!”

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Extras Roundup: Comics By Amanda Baker

Not Always Right | Roundups

What do you do when customers give you lemons? Make lemonade of course! Amanda Baker turns daily customer annoyances into laughs with her great comics. Check out some we’ve gathered from our Extras section that we hope you enjoy as much as we do. Don’t forget to Like us on Facebook and follow our new Not Always Right: Unfiltered Tumblr!

Hipster Snow White
(13 thumbs up)
Fat Liver
(40 thumbs up)
Meatwall
(47 thumbs up)
Different Faces of Customers
(65 thumbs up)

Do you have a funny comic to share or did you create one of your own? Share it with us! We’d love to hear from you.

Having A Sub-epiphany

| Montreal, QC, Canada | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Math & Science

(I’m standing in line behind a very well-dressed, mid-fifties lady.)

Lady: “What’s the difference between a 6-inch sub and a 12-inch sub?”

Employee: *shows a 12-inch bread* “Well, this is a 12-inch sub…”

(She then moves her hand to the middle of the bread.)

Employee: “…and this is the size of a 6-inch sub.”

(The lady acts like if she has just found out the meaning of life.)

Lady: “Oh, so a 6-inch is around half the size of a 12-inch sub!”

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The Great State Of Confusion, Part 4

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Geography

(We provide a legal advice service, but we do not take calls about criminal matters.)

Client: “Yes, hello. I live in Mississippi, and I’m calling because my husband got arrested and I—”

Me: “Ma’am, I am very sorry to cut you off, but I do need to let you know we do not provide advice for criminal matters.”

Client: “Oh. Um, can you tell me someone who might?”

Me: “I do not have any numbers to give you, but you’ll want to contact a criminal attorney in your state.”

Client: “Can you give me a number for that?”

Me: “I’m sorry, our office is in Maryland. I do not have any numbers for your area.”

Client: “Well, I’m in Mississippi, but he was in Georgia. Can you give me a number for a lawyer?”

Me: “Again, I’m sorry, but we’re in Maryland. I do not have any numbers for down that way.”

Client: “Can’t you just look in the phone book and give me the number for the police department?”

Me: “No, ma’am. We’re in Maryland. I do not have a Georgia phone book.”

Client: “What about the number for information?”

Me: “I do not have that.”

Client: “You don’t have the information number for your state?”

Me: *speaking a little more obviously* “No. That is not our state, ma’am.”

Client: “Well what state are you in?”

Me: *sigh*

Related:
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 3
Make Benefit Glorious Guestlogisticstan
The Great State Of Confusion, Part 2
The Great State Of Confusion
The Great State Of Ignorance

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