I Can Help, Who’s Next?

| Right | February 26, 2014

i.chzbgr

The Sweet Taste Of Karma

| Canada | Right | February 26, 2014

(I work in a busy chocolate store. One of our more popular items is a mint chocolate bar. They sell really quickly and we often run out of them within two days of the delivery. A customer wants to buy six of them, but we are out.)

Customer: *staring at me and my coworker in utter disbelief* “What do you mean you’re all out?”

Me: “We don’t have any left. I just sold the last few about 10 minutes ago. They’re really popular and—”

Customer: “I DON’T CARE WHAT THEY ARE. I KNOW YOU HAVE THEM! GIVE THEM TO ME! AND I EXPECT THEM FOR FREE FROM ALL THE STRESS YOU’RE CAUSING ME!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, we’re really sorry. We don’t have any left, and if we don’t have any left, that means we don’t have any to give to you. You’ll have to come back another time.”

Customer: “I’M NOT GOING TO COME BACK ANOTHER TIME! YOU TWO USELESS LITTLE SCABS ARE LYING TO ME! YOU’RE HIDING THEM FOR YOUR FAT SELVES! I DEMAND ALL YOUR MINT BARS RIGHT THIS INSTANT! HOW DARE YOU TELL ME YOU DON’T HAVE ANY LEFT! I’M GOING TO GET YOU FIRED FOR THIS.”

(At this point, a little old lady has wandered in, looking disgruntled.)

Old Lady: *taps the screaming customer on the shoulder* “They said they’re out. That means they can’t give you any. What do you want them to do? S*** them out? Because you deserve that instead of the bar!”

(The screaming customer stormed off and we haven’t seen her since!)

1 Thumbs
2,649
VOTES

This Is Why We’re In A Recession, Part 29

| Tokyo, Japan | Right | February 26, 2014

Me: “That will be ¥1260.”

Customer: *gives a ¥1000 bill*

Me: “And ¥260 yen more.”

Customer: “I have only a ¥1000.”

Me: “Okay. Since you’re short ¥260, shall we put some items away?”

Customer: “Why?”

 

1 Thumbs
1,498
VOTES

Clean Out Of Common Sense

| WY, USA | Right | February 26, 2014

(A caller is complaining that there is something wrong with her computer when she tries to access the internet. I run through the usual diagnostics, but nothing seems to help. I have already been put on probation for letting my calls go over seven minutes, and I am eager to get this call completed.)

Me: “Ma’am, before we proceed, I’m going to need you to defrag your computer and when it’s completed, call us back to finish the procedure.”

Customer: “What does ‘derag’ mean?”

Me: It’s a maintenance task that’s basically cleaning up your computer. I can walk you—”

Customer: “Okay, thanks!” *hangs up*

(I assume we’ve been disconnected, so I call the customer back to finish the call.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, we seemed to have been cut off—”

Customer: “Oh don’t worry about it! You’ve been most helpful.”

Me: “I thought I should call you back and walk you through defragging your hard drive.”

Customer: “That’s very kind of you, but I already started to…” *giggles* “…defrag my computer!”

Me: “Okay. In that case, when the computer is finished, call us back and we can see if that did the trick. It should take a few hours at least—”

Customer: “Oh, it won’t take THAT long. The rinse cycle should be done in a half hour.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “My dishwasher has an efficiency setting. Though I admit, it was difficult getting the computer in there.”

Me: “You put your computer in the DISHWASHER?”

Customer: “Well, it was too big to put in the sink.”

(At this point, I had no idea what to do. I told the customer that I would document the conversation in our logs, and she could call back for further technical support. Then I closed down my station and told my supervisor that I was sick and had to go home. He was doubled over with laughter, having listened to my calls. The call logs made their way around my shift-mates, who hung a ‘Dry Clean Only’ sign on my station. The upside is I was never bothered about my call time again.)

1 Thumbs
1,902
VOTES

Refunder Blunder, Part 4

| Gaithersburg, MD, USA | Right | February 26, 2014

(I’m a part-time manager at a popular arts and crafts store. One of my cashiers has just called me on the radio to ask me to do a return for him. I am confused, but go up to find a customer we had dealt with two nights prior who had a bunch of returns and only had receipts for half of them. She has the receipt for a candle and a vase this time, but not for the other nine vases.)

Customer: “I have a return card from before. You can just put the store credit from the ones without the receipt on there.”

Me: “It doesn’t always work, but I can sure try. Let me just get these all scanned in.”

(I put in her driver’s license number as I would for any return without a receipt and the system declines the return. This happens sometimes as a measure to prevent fraud if a customer is found to be doing a lot of high-dollar value of returns with no receipt.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t process this return. There’s a number on that slip there that you can call for more information.”

Customer: “What? So, you won’t give me back my money?”

Me: “No, sorry. It doesn’t give the exact reasons, but you can call that number for more information as to why the return was declined. I can’t bend the rules here.”

Customer: “That’s illegal. Where does it say that you can refuse to do a return? I want to speak to your supervisor!”

Me: “Well, I’m not sure, but I’ll go look in our database to find you some proof.”

(I go to the office and print out the policy for returns, cut out the simple return policy, and highlight the first line which states ‘[Store Chain] reserves the right to refuse any return regardless of receipt,’ which I then give to the customer.)

Me: “There you go. As you can see, the first line clearly says we can refuse to refund you.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! [Store Name] is really willing to lose business over $18? That’s a stupid policy. Other stores let you return anything no matter what.”

Me: “Yes, well, they’re owned by different people and they probably work with different credit companies.”

Customer: “They’re your competition and they’ve been around for a long time. Do you really want to go to small claims court over $18, because I will call my lawyer. You need to get a job at a store with more class.”

Me: “Our store has actually been around for forty years. What I NEED, ma’am, is to finish my degree and start teaching. That was rather personal.”

Customer: “You wanna be a teacher? Well, I’m a teacher. I’m an English teacher, and I write a lot. I write a lot of letters and this will be out there.”

Me: “All right, ma’am. You can certainly call our corporate number to lodge any complaints. Have a nice night.”

 

1 Thumbs
1,038
VOTES
Page 1,751/3,883First...1,7491,7501,7511,7521,753...Last
« Previous
Next »