Paying Fool Price, Part 2

| Adelaide, SA, Australia | Extra Stupid, Money

(We are in the middle of a massive stock-take sale. The store has two enormous banners at the entrance stating this, along with stands of our sale brochures. Every aisle and wall is hung with SALE posters every 2 metres, and there are red SALE balloons on every fixture. Every shelf or stand has an A3 sign on it stating the percentage of discount on that range, as well as smaller signs showing the price of individual items. Instead of our usual business wear, the staff are all wearing red shirts which have the company logo and SALE written on them, plus name badges. It’s quiet for a moment, so I am filling an empty shelf with stock from a trolley.)

Customer: “Do you work here?”

Me: *laughs* “Yeah, I do.”

(She doesn’t even seem to take in my company shirt and apron, name badge or the fact that I’m doing stock work. She just seems mildly surprised.)

Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t sure.” *picks up an egg poacher* “Is this on special?”

Me: “Yes, everything is on special today. We’ve got 40% off cookware at the moment.”

Customer: “Are you sure it’s on sale?”

Me: “Yes, I’m quite sure there’s a sale on.”

(I laugh, but she is just staring at me strangely.)

Me: “The sign on top of the shelf says 40% off all cookware, and the little sign in front of the poacher says the egg Poacher now [price]. So it’s [price].”

Customer: “I need to know the exact price. Go and check it for me.”

Me: “Okay, well, the girls on the register can scan it for you to confirm the price before you purchase.”

Customer: “No. I want you to check now.”

(Giving in, I go right down the front, scan it, and not surprisingly, it comes up at the exact same price as I told her.)

Me: “It came up [price].”

Customer: “Oh, so it is on sale! I’ll just tell my sister!” *takes out phone* “Cheryl! They have a sale on!”

(I ran into ‘Cheryl’ later. You’ll never guess what kind of questions she asked me.)

Related:
Paying Fool Price

Moving Not Improving

| MN, USA | Extra Stupid

(I am waiting at the DMV to transfer my out-of-state license. Things are moving relatively smoothly until a gentleman of about 65-70 years old is called to the window.)

Customer: “Hello, I’d like to renew my license.”

Employee: Alright, sir.” *takes his paperwork* “And are you still living at the address on your current license?”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m going to be moving within the month.”

Employee: “Okay. Well, I can see that your license is still valid for a little over a month, so you can just wait to renew it until you move. If we renew it for you today, then in couple weeks when you move, you will have to contact the state to change the address, and then come to us for a new printed license, which will cost you $5.”

Customer: “But, I just want to renew my license.”

Employee: “Yes, and we can do that for you, but as I said, you will then have to go through the hassle of contacting the state when you move and paying more money for a new license. If you are moving within the month, your current license will still be valid, so you might want to wait until then.”

Customer: “No, I just want to do it today.”

Employee: “Alright then… and you do understand that it will cost you $5 to get a new license when you move?”

Customer: “Yes, yes.”

(The employee obliges and they go through the eye test, photo, etc. They are finally finished.)

Customer: “So, what happens when I move?”

It Pays to Be Not Always Right

| Austin, TX, USA | Food & Drink, Top

(I’m the customer at a drink concession stand at a music festival. Sodas are $2 and special flavored waters (watermelon or blackberry) are $3.)

Me: “I’ll have a Sprite.”

Cashier: “We are all out of Sprite, sorry.”

Me: “Dang. I’d like a [brand of flavored water], but I only have $2. I’ll have a Coke.”

Cashier: “Would you like Blackberry or Watermelon?”

Me: “Coke.”

Cashier: “Blackberry or Watermelon?”

Me: “COKE.”

Cashier: *very slowly, with a knowing look on her face* “Blackberry or Watermelon?”

Me: “COKE!”

Another Cashier: *to me* “She’s trying to give you the water for the price of the soda.”

Me: “Oh! Er, Blackberry.”

Cashier: “There we go!”

Apps Never Have An Off Day

| HI, USA | Technology

(I am helping a customer become familiar with his new product by showing him how to turn it on and off.)

Me: “If you press and hold the button on the top right hand corner of the device, you’ll see an icon on the screen that you can slide to turn it off.”

Customer: “Oh. I thought they would have an app for that.”

Me: “What do you mean?”

Customer: “They have apps for everything else, so why not for turning it off? That seems silly.”

Me: “Well, how would you turn it back on if it’s off and you can’t use the screen to get apps?”

Customer: “Oh… well, I thought it was clever!”

Taming The Feral Customers

| Bristol, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

(I work in the Petting Corner are of the zoo, where twice a week we show the new arrivals and the young animals. Today, we have a young tiger cub who has not once attacked as he is quite tame. We have an experienced tiger handler, who is from another branch of our zoo. It’s mostly kids that come to pet the tiger, but some adults seem to love him too.)

Me: “…and here we have the young tiger cub, Jumanji, who comes here twice a week! Now, don’t be shy, he’s tame, and we have our experienced tiger handler Tom on hand! All of you who would like to pet him, please make a queue.”

(I turn to Tom, the tiger handler.)

Me: “Tom, can you hold him in your lap?”

(I move away to make preparations for the next part of Petting Corner. As I do this, a young man with his son pushes ahead, knocking over several young kids. A concerned mother speaks up.)

Mother: “Hey! How dare you! My son has been waiting in line and you barged in?!”

Man: “Shut the f*** up, you b****! Go on, son. Pet the tiger!”

Son: “Yay!” *starts jabbing the tiger in the ribs* “This tiger isn’t doing anything!”

Me: “Stop that! The tiger is getting angry! Don’t jab him!”

(At this point, I’m running to him to stop him, and Tom is trying to shield the tiger’s ribs from him. The tiger tries to scratch the brat, but nicks Tom slightly instead.)

Man: “This tiger isn’t tame at all! My son could have been scratched! I want compensation!”

Me: *angry* “You won’t get any! I demand you get out of this zoo, now!”

(I turn to the kids, trying to be calm as possible.)

Me: “I’m sorry, but the tiger will be back next week.”

Man: *screaming* “DON’T LISTEN! THE TIGER IS DANGEROUS!”

Mother: “Almost as dangerous as you!”

(Suddenly, the mother puts the man in a choke hold—yes, a choke hold—and pins him with the help of the other parents.)

Mother: “Call security!”

(Afterwards, the man was arrested and they were both banned for life. The people who helped got 12-month passes for their assistance!)

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