A Race To Be At The Place

| LA, USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(Customer #1 is paying with a check. She’s one of our regulars, and a very nice person, but it does take her a little bit of time to write all the information on her check. Customer #2 is in line behind her.)

Customer #2: “Oh, dear gawd. How long is this gonna take?”

Me: “Just a moment, ma’am. We need to finish up here.”

Customer #2: “Some of us ain’t got all day. We don’t go ‘round wasting other people’s time, but here they be wastin’ ours. F*** this!”

Me: “We’re almost done, and stop cussing. Okay?”

Customer #1: “Thank you, sweetie. Are we done? Okay, fine. Have a good day, now!”

Customer #2: *mockingly* “Have a good day! Have a good day! Get your old a** out my way!”

(I silently ring up the rude customer’s purchases, and then tell her the total. She pulls a plastic baggie from her purse and starts counting it out in loose change. It’s a large total, and several times she gets a text on her phone and then loses track of her count. All in all, it takes nearly ten minutes for her to pay.)

Customer #2: “There! We done? I got places to be!”

(Customer #2 then strolls out the door and stands leaning on the lamp post next to the street, talking on her cell phone. I start ringing up the next customer.)

Customer #3: “Yep. That’s her place to be, I guess.”

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Listen For Those Nuggets Of Information

, | UK | Right | March 5, 2014

(I take orders in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi, can I take your order, please?”

Customer: “Can I have a large chicken nugget meal, please?”

Me: “Sure, what drink?”

Customer: “LARGE. CHICKEN. NUGGET. MEAL.”

Me: “Yeah. What drink?”

(The customer rolls their eyes and sighs before making some comment to the passenger about ‘kids these days.’)

Customer: “Chicken—”

Me: “Yes. I heard you say large chicken nugget meal the first time. I asked you what drink?”

Customer: *laughs* “Oh. Coke!”

Me: “Any dips?”

Customer: “COKE!”

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Hot On The Scent For Trouble

| USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(I have a service dog and request a booth so he can sit or lie underneath without being in anyone’s way. He wears a bright red vest with the proper identification of his use and I also carry an ID card proving his certifications for use. That also means there is a little bit of a wait unless we make reservations to let them know about the dog and table requests. This happens when waiting for a table.)

Customer: “I didn’t know this was one of those dog friendly places.”

Waitress: “It’s not.”

Customer: “Well you’d better tell that girl over there she needs to put her dog in the car. Wait, you’re not allowed to sass customers are you? Don’t worry. I’ll tell her.” *to me* “Hey, you. B**** with the dog!”

(I’m thinking he sees someone else waiting for a table with their dog but when I look over I see him waving a cane at me.)

Me: “Me?”

Customer: “Yeah. I’m talking to you. Didn’t you hear? You’re not allowed to bring your f****** dog here. You young people think the rules don’t apply to you! Well, let me tell you, sweetie, the rules apply to everyone!”

Me: “He’s a medical dog which makes him allowed everywhere your cane is allowed. So why don’t you turn around and take your self-righteous a** back to your seat and keep your nose out of business you have no right to be in?”

Customer: “You respect your elders, missy! I fought a war for you to be able to take that beast in this fine establishment!”

Me: “I give respect where respect is deserved. You may have fought a war back then but I need this dog because I fought a war so you can keep your freedoms. And as for my beast, he’s better mannered than you are. At least he knows how to act in public.”

(The customer paled before scurrying back to his seat and the other people in the restaurant applauded me. We were given a booth as far away as the man as possible right away and the manager brought out food and water for my dog as well.)

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Queen Of Hearts On Line Two

| MT, USA | Right | March 5, 2014

(I’m doing troubleshooting with a customer, mostly to see if I can figure out what’s wrong with her washer. She’s just unplugged it for one minute and plugged it back in.)

Me: “Okay, let’s try to get it to fill up with water, and then manually switch it to a point in the cycle where it drains.”

Caller: “Okay! I’ll do a speed wash, then you can call me back in 20 minutes when it’s done!”

Me: “Great idea!”

(I hear beeping in the background, and I’m assuming this is the machine beginning the cycle.)

Caller: “Oh, no! I think we broke it more!”

Me: *panicking* “Oh, no! What’s it doing?”

Caller: “Now the water isn’t even filling up! All the hoses are connected and everything!”

Me: “Oh, no! Well, I’ll go ahead and set up you for service then.”

Caller: “You were supposed to fix it, not make it worse! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”

(The caller yells the last bit, and I jump so badly I fall out of my chair and knock my headset off. When I pick it back up, I hear her laughing.)

Caller: “Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry I scared you! I was only fooling!”

Me: “That’s okay. I’m awake now.”

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A Sweet Resolution

| MS, USA | Right | March 5, 2014

Me: “Hello. This is [Name].”

(There is lots of very loud static on the phone, making it difficult for me to hear the person.)

Caller: “Hello?”

Me: “Can you hear me?”

Caller: “Hello?!”

Me: “Your phone has a lot of static. I’m having trouble hearing you.”

Caller: “HELLO?! CAN YOU HEAR ME? PEOPLE CAN’T HEAR ME AND I CAN’T HEAR THEM!”

Me: “YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF LOUD STATIC THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLASTIC WRAPPER!”

(The static stops.)

Caller: “Oh! That’s because I was opening a candy! Thanks for your help!”

(The caller hung up, and my face met the desk.)

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