Put Them In The Hot Seat

| AL, USA | Right | March 17, 2014

(I always like to follow up after a trip I have booked for a customer. A couple had booked a plane flight to Florida, a small rental car, and a few nights hotel on the beach.)

Me: “Hi, Mrs. [Name]. This is [My Name] calling from [Travel Agency]. I just wanted to make sure you had a wonderful time on your trip.”

Wife: “You’ll have to speak with my husband. I’m too upset to speak with you.”

Husband: “I can’t believe you have the courage to call, after what you did. I’ve dealt with incompetence before, but you are the worst!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. What happened?”

Husband: “When I booked the flight, I told you that I wanted an aisle seat, and my wife preferred a window seat. You had us backwards on all four flights!”

Me: “I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you just swap seats? Or, say something to a flight attendant, who would have told you to just swap seats?”

Husband: “…” *click*

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They Aren’t Really Cockroaches

| Right | March 17, 2014

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Aaand I’m Being Yelled At

| Right | March 17, 2014

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Fish Has Gone To The Dogs

| St. Paul, MN, USA | Right | March 17, 2014

(I am delivering a large pizza order to a couple that included an extra side of anchovies.)

Me: “Let me hand you the anchovies so they don’t accidentally spill.”

(As I hand them to the woman she makes a face of disgust and hands them to her husband.)

Husband: “I like to pour it out on the kitchen floor and roll around in them.”

Me: “So does my dog.”

(The wife completely loses it and the husband slinks off with his anchovies.)

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A Culling Of A Cullen

| WI, USA | Right | March 16, 2014

(I work as a waitress at a sit down restaurant near the mall. We’re slowing down for the night and the place is pretty empty. I’m in the middle of cleaning off my table when I overhear this conversation happening between some teens in the corner booth.)

Teen Girl: *to Teen Boy #2* “It’s not the size that matters, but what you do with it.”

Teen Boy #1: “Yeah, it’s all about the motion of the ocean!”

Ditzy Teen Girl: “It’s all in the sparkle.”

Teen Boy #2: “Wha— I’m not Edward f****** Cullen!”

(I barely made it back to the kitchen before laughing.)

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