The Name Blame Game

| Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance

(We have a counter where customers can pick up online-only items that have been shipped to the store at no charge. Customers can designate an alternate pickup person, and it’s not uncommon for a spouse or parent to pick up an order, though usually they know it’s not their name on the order.)

Customer: “It’s under [name]. It’s a stroller.”

(I search, and find nothing on computer or on the shelf.)

Me: “Could it possibly be under your husband’s name?”

Customer: “I’m a lesbian.”

Me: “Okay, well, what’s your wife’s name?”

Customer: “It’s [other name].”

Me: “Here we go!” *brings out stroller* “Your name wasn’t on the box, so that’s why.”

Customer: “Well, you should have known!”

Me: “I should have known your wife with a wildly different name always sends you to pickup the order under her name?”

Customer: “YES!”

Some Boys Are Made Of Sugar And Spice

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Language & Words

(I am waiting for a hair cut. Next in the queue is a boy that can’t be older than four or five.)

Little Boy: “I want you to cut my hair spicy!”

Hairdresser: “…’spicy?'”

Little Boy: “Yeah, spicy! Like, super spicy!”

Hairdresser: “…don’t you mean ‘spiky?'”

Little Boy: “That too!”

Drink To A Fine Resolution

| Stockholm, Sweden | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

(I work as a bartender at a high end restaurant. I am currently working the bar alone with over 90 guests.)

Customer: “Excuse me; I’d like to order!”

Me: “Yes, sir, I will be with you in a minute.”

(The customer is obviously annoyed, but I have to continue. After about 30 seconds, he throws his debit card at me just as I pass him. I stop, pick it up, look at it, and throw it in the garbage bin behind me. I then continue to take orders.)

Customer: “What the—did you just—”

(I don’t say anything. I don’t even look at the customer as I finish pouring every one else their drinks. When he is the last one, I pick up the card from the bin and look him straight in the eyes.)

Me: “Sir, I have three things to tell you. One, that was, by far, the rudest I have EVER been treated by a customer. Second, if I ever catch you doing that, I will talk to my boss and he will sort it out; he hates it when people are rude to his staff. And finally, if you had paid attention to how everyone else ‘paid’ you would know that it is an open bar, and your card does nothing.”

Customer: *bright red* “I am so so sorry; I truly am. I think that I have had enough to drink tonight. I will take a glass of water.”

(I smile, give him his water, and he gives me a tip.)

Customer: “I know that this does not cover how bad I treated you. I am sorry.”

(The same customer comes back a couple of weeks later, and he is still the best tipper I serve!)