Parts & Laboring The Obvious

| Warwick, RI, USA | Extra Stupid

Customer: “I need a tire for a 2010 Honda Accord.”

Me: “What do you have on there now?”

Customer: “A flat tire.”

Here Today, (Not) Gone Tomorrow

, | Melbourne, Australia | Extra Stupid

(A man approaches the counter.)

Me: “Hello, sir, what can I get for you today?”

Customer: “Yes, I was wondering what days you guys are closed.”

Me: “We’re open everyday.”

Customer: “Yes, but which days aren’t you open?”

Me: “None. We are open every day.”

Customer: *irritated* “Are you deaf? Which days AREN’T you open?”

Me: “Sir, we are open on days that end with the letter Y.”

Customer: “Right! So you’re open 4 days a week! Why didn’t you just say that?”

Them’s The Kakes

| Canberra, Australia | Language & Words

(The stationery store I work for sells badges with letters on them. A lady comes in with a list of letters she needs, one of them being K. After pulling out all the K’s, she seems confused.)

Customer: “Oh, wait, K isn’t what I need.”

Me: “What letter do you need, then?”

Customer: “C. Cake is spelled with a C right?”

Additional Charge For Unlimited Sexism Plan

| Arkansas, USA | Bigotry, Technology

Me: “Good afternoon! Welcome to [store name]. How may I assist you?”

Customer: “My phone’s not working, and your service is crap.”

Me: “Well, I’d be more than happy to help you. Sorry for your inconvenience.”

Customer: “Just fix the d*** thing and stop talking!”

Me: *shocked* “Yes, sir.”

(After a few minutes of testing his device, I figure out the problem is that the phone simply has not been charged.)

Me: “Sir, your phone is dead. It needs to be charged. That’s why you weren’t able to place a call or turn the device on.”

Customer: “That’s bulls***. I want to talk to your manager!”

Me: “I am the manager, sir.”

Customer: “But you’re a woman!”

Me: “Yes, sir, last time I checked, I was.”

Customer: *very condescendingly* “Your place is in the kitchen. I want to speak with a male!”

Me: *speechless*

Caught Red-Handed, Part 3

| Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers, Top

(Note: I work at a thrift store. It’s quite common for people to pull off price tags in an effort to get a lower price. Most of the time it works, but occasionally we’ll catch someone doing it. This night, my boss approaches me holding a tag that says “$6.99”.)

Boss: *hands me a tag* “I just watched a family in housewares pull this tag off of a metal basket. So, if they ask what price it is, it’s $6.99.”

(Just as my boss predicted, the family comes up ten minutes later with the metal basket, just before closing. The husband begins talking to me.)

Customer: *feigning ignorance* “Oh, so what’s the price on this basket?”

Me: “It’s $6.99.”

Customer: *indignant* “Really?!”

(I pull out the $6.99 price tag they ripped off earlier.)

Me: “Yeah, really.”

Customer: “Oh, s***.”

(I love my work sometimes.)

Caught Red-Handed, Part 2
Caught Red-Handed

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