Fought For His Country, Not Just His County

| NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Military, Money

(Our store gives a military discount, but you have to have one of three types of nationally-issued ID cards to get it. It can’t be a state, county, or city-issued ID. My current customer has a county-issued veteran’s card.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir; we can’t take these. It must be a nationally-issued card.”

Customer: “This IS nationally issued!”

Me: “No, this is a county VA card. The county seal is right there. It has to be from the Department of Veteran’s Affairs in DC.”

Customer: *blankly* “This IS a VA card.”

(I pull out the cheat-sheet for cashiers.)

Me: “It has to be one of these types. They’ve gotten very strict on that.”

Customer: “I’m going to [competitor]! They know how to treat their veterans right!”

(The customer storms out. A regular, who is a retired vet, comes up to me.)

Regular Customer: “Good for you! I can’t stand people like that.”

Me: “I was about ready to rattle off my parents’ names, ranks, and postings. Mom did her 22 years, and Dad’s a Lieutenant Colonel. And both of them would’ve told me that if I didn’t have my ID, too bad!”

Soft-Selling

| OR, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

(We have got a new mattress, so I put the old one up on Craigslist. It’s free to the first person who comes to pick it up. Shortly after I post the ad, my phone rings.)

Me: “Hello?”

Caller: “I’m calling about the mattress. Yeah, is it a pillow-top?”

Me: “No, sorry, it isn’t.”

Caller: “Oh. Well, I need a pillow-top. I’m having surgery next week, and I need a mattress with some support.”

Me: “I understand.”

(There is a long pause.)

Caller: “So what are you going to do?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: *angrily* “I need a pillow-top mattress!”

Me: “Um, well, good luck?”

Unable To Think Outside The Box

| Ireland | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology

Me: “Good morning, thank you for calling Tech Support.”

Customer: “Hi, I bought a [brand name] laptop, and I want to get it set up. Can you talk me through it?”

Me: “Sure, when you turn on the computer you’ll be asked to type in the user name you want to use—”

Customer: “I haven’t gotten that far yet. How do I open the box?”

Me: “Really, you want me to talk you through opening the box?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Is this a prank call?”

Customer: “No…”

(The customer actually kept me on the line for 30 minutes asking me how to open the box her laptop came in!)