Raising A Voodoo Child

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem

(I have been a music instructor for over three decades. An angry mom confronts me before her son’s drum lesson.)

Angry Mom: “Why are you showing my son all of these heavy metal and rock songs to play drums to?”

Me: “Because he asked me to. He seems to like that type of music.”

Angry Mom: “He most certainly DOES NOT like that music. It’s overtly sexual, violent and demonic. Why can’t you show him good music? Instead of this Metallica and ACDC garbage.”

Me: “Good music?”

Angry Mom: “YES! Good music. The 60s. Jimi Hendrix. The Beatles. The Rolling Stones?”

Me: “Maybe ‘Hey Joe,’ by Jimi Hendrix?”

Angry Mom: “Exactly!”

Me: “‘I’m just going down to shoot my old lady, I caught her messing around with another man….’ That ‘Hey Joe?'”

Angry Mom: “Yes! The classics!”

July 2013 Top Story Roundup

Not Always Right | Roundups

July 2013 Top Story Roundup: Here are Not Always Right’s top-rated stories for the month of July!

  1. Poor Memory (4,039 thumbs up)
  2. Blocks Out The Glaring Customers (3,349 thumbs up)
  3. Paying A Hire Price (2,932 thumbs up)
  4. Under The Sea Meets Under The Influence (2,832 thumbs up)
  5. The Convergence Of Kindnesses (2,674 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

Got To Give Him Credit For Trying

| Allentown, PA, USA | At The Checkout, Books & Reading, Liars & Scammers, Money

(My husband and I are customers in a fairly long line at the bookstore’s register. A customer ahead of us puts pile of about 10 books on the counter.)

Customer: “I’ll take these.”

(He opens his wallet and pulls out one of those credit card-shaped pieces of tan card stock that has the words ‘CREDIT CARD’ around the edges and comes inside a new wallet to demonstrate where your credit cards would go. Other than the words ‘CREDIT CARD’ around the edges, the card is completely blank. There is no name, card number, card type, etc.)

Customer: “Credit, please.”

(The customer hands the cashier the ‘credit card’.)

Cashier: “Uh…”

Customer: “This is a new card from Citibank. They are switching to paper instead of plastic because it is better for the environment.”

Cashier: “I don’t think—”

Customer: “THIS IS A CARD FROM CITIBANK! I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!”

Manager: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “I want to buy these books. Here is my credit card. It is a new card from Citibank; they are switching to paper from plastic to help the environment!”

Manager: *very obviously trying not to laugh* “I… uh… I’m sorry, but only major credit cards are accepted here.”

Customer: “I CAN’T BELIEVE THIS! YOU JUST LOST YOURSELF A SALE! I AM TAKING MY BUSINESS SOMEWHERE ELSE!”

(The customer takes his ‘credit card’ and storms off.)