Right-Click, Wrong-Click, Part 3

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Technology

Me: “Thank you for calling [company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “Hi, I am trying to find out how much RAM I have on my computer.”

Me: “Okay. An easy way to find this is to right-click on the my computer icon, and left-click on properties.”

Caller: “Oh, okay. Now what?”

Me: “You should see a box pop up with information about the computer on it.”

Caller: “Okay, but nothing happened.”

Me: “Nothing at all? What do you see on your screen?”

Caller: “My desktop.”

Me: “Alright. Well let’s try this again. What happens when you right-click on the my computer icon?”

Caller: “Nothing.”

Me: “Is the computer on?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Can you tell me, step by step, what you did?”

Caller: “Sure. You asked me to write click on my computer, and I didn’t want to write on my brand new computer, so I got a sticky note and wrote ‘click’ on the note. I stuck it to the screen, over the my computer icon.”

Me: *pause* “Oh. Okay. Well, by saying right-click, I meant pushing the button on the right side of the mouse. When you do this, it makes a clicking noise, so we techies call it ‘right-click’.”

Caller: “Oh, wow. That makes sense!”

Related:
Right-Click, Wrong-Click, Part 2
Right-Click, Wrong-Click

The Brewery Isn’t The Only Thing That’s Micro

| FL, USA | Uncategorized

Customer: “What sort of soda do you carry?”

Me: “We have organic root beer-”

Customer: “Does that taste like root beer?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Okay, I’ll take one of those.”

(I go get her root beer and bring it back. It’s in a glass bottle. The woman stares at the bottle.)

Customer: “This root beer. It doesn’t have alcohol in it, does it?”

Me: “No, it does not.”

Customer: “It says ‘beer’ on the side.”

Me: “That’s part of the name.”

Customer: “But, it says ‘micro-brewed’ on the side.”

You’ve Got To Be Kitten, Part 2

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [vet hospital]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I found some kittens. I am trying to get them to eat. They are small and I don’t think they should be away from their mom.”

Me: “Okay. Are you able to get some milk replacer from the store?”

Customer: “Well, I bought some kitten food. They won’t eat it. I am trying to get my cat to nurse them.”

Me: “Is your cat the mother of the kittens?”

Customer: “No, but I am trying to get him to nurse them. How can I do that?”

Me: “Him? Your cat is a male?”

Customer: “Yes, but I thought cats would adopt kittens and raise them.”

Me: “You want your male cat to nurse the kittens?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “Here is the phone number for the local cat foster program. They will be happy to raise the kittens for you.”

Related:
You’ve Got To Be Kitten

A Popcorn Is Half Empty Kind Of Person

| NC, USA | Uncategorized

(Two customers come up, but pay separately.)

Customer #1: *pays*

Me: “Have a nice day.”

Customer #1: “Thanks.”

Customer #2: *pays*

Me: “Enjoy your movie.”

Customer #2: “Thanks, dear.”

(The first customer stares at me.)

Customer #1: “I’ll ‘enjoy my movie’ too.” *sulks away*

The Use Of Regular Is Most Irregular

| Denton, TX, USA | Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you, sir. Now, if you could just sign your name on the line, and then write it regular on the line below…”

Customer: *signs his name and below it writes ‘regular’*