A Directionless Conversation, Part 2

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(We are a tourist park, and have a café which is situated just outside so that people can use it without paying to go in. The café is right next door to the entrance; you have to walk past it to come in.)

Customer: “Is there a café here?”

Me: “Yes, there is. It’s just next door.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “Right next door.”

Customer: *confused* “Next door?”

Me: “Yes, it’s the building next to this one.”

Customer: “So, we have to go out?”

Me: “Yes. You go out of this building, and it’s in the only other one.”

Customer: “So, it’s out of here and next door.?”

Me: “Yes. Go out of here, and look right. You’ll see it.”

(The customer walks out, looking confused.)

Coworker: “What’s the betting she’ll get lost?”

Related:
A Directionless Conversation

Not Interstate Of Mind

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Me: “Hello, [store name].”

Customer: “Are you open today?”

Me: “Yes, we’re open until 6 pm.”

Customer: “Can you tell me how to get there?”

Me: “Oh sure, it’s fairly easy. Take I-495 to [exit], go left at the end of the exit ramp, go left at the first light, and we’re just up the hill; you’ll see the sign.”

Customer: “What? I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay, start out on I-495, and—”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “The… highway? Interstate 495?”

Customer: “How do I get to that?”

Me: “Where are you now?”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter; how do I get to that highway?”

Me: “Well, it depends where you are. What town are you in?”

Customer: “No, just tell me how to get to that highway!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t unless I know where you’re starting from!”

Customer: “Never mind, you’re no help! I may or may not come in later!”

Blind To The TMI Boundary

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(We sell blinds and wallpaper.)

Customer: “I need some blinds that will give me lots of privacy.”

Me: “We have a lot of different options. You may be interested in a blackout cellular shade. Do you have anything specific in mind?”

Customer: “Well, I need something that won’t get damaged if it gets Vaseline on it.”

Me: “Okay. Maybe a faux wood or wood blind then?”

Customer: “Can you see shadows through it? Because I like to cover my whole body in Vaseline and crawl around like a slug, and I don’t want my neighbors to see me.”

Me: “…um …no, you shouldn’t be able to see shadows.”