Freak For Yourself, Part 2

| Texas, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(We have a regular who comes in for special sandwiches that are made on Mondays and Fridays only. When she comes in, it’s on a Thursday and the guy who makes them at the deli isn’t there. Instead, it’s a new guy who’s still being trained.)

Customer: “Black and blue with horse sauce on the side.”

(FYI, she wants pumpernickel bread with roast beef, bleu cheese and horseradish sauce on the side.)

New Employee: “Uh, sorry? I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: *annoyed* “I want the black and blue with the horse sauce on the side.

New Employee: “Let me get someone else. I’m new, so I don’t know what that is.”

Customer: “God, are you stupid? I want the black and blue with horse sauce on the side! Is that so freaking hard to understand?

Other Employee: *overhears* “Yes, ma’am, I’ll get that made for you right now. He’s new, so he doesn’t know about our sandwich specialties.”

(Upon hearing this, the customer suddenly turns sweet and smiles.)

Customer: “OH! You’re new? How many days have you been working here?”

New Employee: “Only two days, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, watch out for those crazies. You’re bound to get a few!”

Related:
Freak For Yourself

Worst Of Luck To You

| Colorado, USA | Uncategorized

(I’ve just rung up a customer’s order and am handing her bingo cards.)

Me: “Good luck!”

Customer: *slaps my hand with her bingo cards* “Oh, h*** no! I don’t believe in good luck!”

Me: “Okay, then… bad luck?”

Customer: “Now that’s more like it!”

Extras Roundup: E-cards For Customers

Not Always Right | Roundups

Ah, someecards, the witty and honest place to find something funny for almost everyone. Check out these e-cards we’ve gathered from our Extras section that we hope you enjoy as much as we do. Don’t forget to Like us on Facebook!

Worst Part Of My Monday
(41 thumbs up)
You’re !@#$
(86 thumbs up)
What’s It Called?
(57 thumbs up)
Learn To Read
(88 thumbs up)
Let Them Sort It Out
(154 thumbs up)
No Texting & Parenting
(38 thumbs up)

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How To Keep Your Online Devices In Line

| Tennessee, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Top

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] DSL tech support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “My modem bit me.”

Me: “It… bit you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I went to turn it off and it bit me. And now it’s staring at me every time I try to get back in the room.”

(The modem has two red lights on the front that are lit solid when everything is working properly. The customer also sounds like they’re not exactly sober, so I decide that giving them a logical response won’t be much help to them.)

Me: “All right, what you should do is turn the light on in the room, close the door, and go to bed. The modem will stay up all night trying to get to you, but be stuck in the room. By morning it’ll be too exhausted to fight back and you can duct tape it to the desk to keep it in line from now on.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *hangs up*

(The next day, he actually called back to compliment me for solving his problem!)

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Dopey Duplicators Can’t Dupe Us

| Mississippi, USA | Criminal & Illegal, Liars & Scammers, Underaged

(Keep in mind that our store keeps records of people who try to trade in or sell defective, illegally copied, or stolen merchandise. One day, a teenage customer comes in with a shoebox filled with about 40 unboxed games for the Nintendo DS.)

Coworker: “Hi, how can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’d just like to get some cash for these games.”

Coworker: “Alright, I just need to see some ID…”

(My coworker does a quick check and finds that this particular customer is known for having sold us defective and illegally copied games.)

Coworker: “Do all of these games work?”

Customer: *face turns bright red* “Uhh… y-yeah. Yeah, they… they do.”

Coworker: “Are you sure?”

Customer: “Y-yeah.”

Coworker: “Mind if I test this one out?”

(My coworker proceeds to pull out his Nintendo DS. By now, the customer knows he’s been caught and begins shaking.)

Customer: “Y-you know what, never mind. I’m f-f***ing outta here!”

(He left his entire box of games on the counter. Most of them didn’t work, and the ones that did work were obviously copied. We never saw the kid again.)

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