This Customer Has A Tuna Problems

| Bellingham, WA, USA | Bizarre, Money

(I’m a teller at a bank. A young customer comes up to my window.)

Customer: “I’d like to withdraw $20.”

Me: “I’m sorry, it looks like your available balance is $10. Would you like to withdraw that amount?”

Customer: “No. I want to withdraw $20.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can only withdraw the $10 you have available.”

Customer: “But I want $20!”

Me: “I can’t give you more money than you have in your account.”

Customer: “Well at least it’s not a Nazi-controlled fish world where it’s ‘hail tuna, only what the tuna says!.'”

(The customer waits for me to reply, but I have no idea if this is some pop culture reference.)

Me: “…no. At least it’s not like that…”

Customer: “I’ll take the $10.”

(The customer leaves happily, and I never find any info on her fish world. I assume it is original, as the next week she tells me I would be ‘sweeter if I was made out of silver.’)

First Get Assurance You Have The Right Insurance

, | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests

Me: “Motor Claims, this is [my name].”

Customer: “God, finally. I’ve been on hold to you for ages! My claim number is [insert number].”

Me: “I’m so sorry to hear that. Here, let me ring this up for you.”

(I get halfway through before I realize something is off about the number the customer has given me.)

Customer: “I’m sick to the teeth! I need to know what you guys are doing with my car!”

Me: “Uhm, ma’am—”

Customer: “You keep telling me it will be ready this week! Someone will call me back! Blah blah blah!”

Me: “Ma—”

Customer: “Just tell me what’s going on with my car!”

Me: “I… can’t.”

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “I can’t tell you what’s going on with your car.”

Customer: “Wait, why not?!”

Me: “This isn’t one of our claim numbers.”

Customer: “Is this [other insurance company]?”

Me: “No, madam. This is [insurance company].”

Customer: “Well f***. I just wasted half an hour of my life.” *click*

Not A Fan Of The Fan

| CA, USA | Hotels & Lodging

(I am working the front desk at my hotel, when one of the guests comes up.)

Me: “Good morning! Do you need to check out?”

Customer: “Yes, but I want to complain.”

Me: “Oh, dear. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, the fan in the bathroom is very loud, and it kept me up all night!”

Me: “It did? I’ll leave a note for maintenance. That’s strange, though. It wouldn’t turn off at all?”

Customer: “No! I thought it was on a timer or something, but it just kept running all night long!”

Me: “That’s very odd. Was it running when you entered the room?”

Customer: “No, it turned on when I… flipped… the…” *blinks a bit in realization* “Oh! Well, poop!”

Me: “…turned on the light in the bathroom?”

Customer: “Yup. Sorry to bother you!”