Not Being Very Adult About It

| Pasadena, MD, USA | Right | April 25, 2014

(I work at an adult themed store. We close at 10 pm and I have just locked the doors. I have two friends waiting for me in the parking lot, and we start having a conversation. Before we know it, we have been standing around talking for two hours, when a guy in a truck pulls up and gets out of his car.)

Customer: *pulling on door* “Aw, are you guys closed?”

Me: “Yeah, we closed two hours ago.”

Customer: “Well, can you open real quick? I need to buy something.”

Me: “No, we closed two hours ago. If it was really important you would have come in earlier.”

Customer: “But it IS important! You should open and let me buy something!”

Me: “Dude, this is a PORN store. It’s not life threatening, so, no I will not be opening. Buy your sexy-time things elsewhere.”

Customer: *slinks off embarrassed*

1 Thumbs
1,539
VOTES

They Just Can’t Cut the Mustard

| FL, USA | Right | April 25, 2014

(I’m working the copy desk when a customer walks in.)

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to print some photos on my flash drive.”

(She hands it to me.)

Me: “Alrighty. I’ll just hook it up and we can go from there.”

(I connect the flash drive to my computer and open the folder for it, to find that there is only one photo on it: a photo of the customer naked and rubbing ketchup and mustard on her large belly.)

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Yes, that one. I want it blown up to poster size, and I want 100 copies of that.”

Me: “I’m afraid it’s against our company policy to print, er, photos of an explicit nature, ma’am.”

Customer: “Really? Oh, darn. Well, do you at least like the picture?”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “Then it was worth it to come here after all!”

1 Thumbs
1,015
VOTES

Gives New Meaning To Bag Of Tricks

| Hervey Bay, QLD, Australia | Right | April 25, 2014

(I am near the end of a very long shift. A customer comes up so I put my closed sign up. He seems a bit unusual and smells like alcohol but I treated him like any other customer.)

Me: “Hi. How are you today, sir?”

Customer: “Good, thanks.”

(My coworker comes over and tells me to make sure I check his bags at the end of the transaction. I get to the end of the transaction.)

Me: “All right, sir. Here is your change and I just have to check your bags.”

Customer: “Oh, sure, yeah.” *opens bag*

Me: “Yep, that’s okay. Have a great day, sir.”

Customer: “Yeah. Next time I will put some naughty stuff in there for you like condoms and vibrators.”

Me: “… Okay, sir. Have a good day.”

(He left and I told my supervisor. One of my coworkers heard me and told me he has said something like that to her before. She said he bought paw-paw ointment. She asked if he wanted a bag and he said no, that he was going to use it later while he was thinking of her. He is now banned from the store.)

Sadly This Is Regular Behavior

| Liverpool, England, UK | Right | April 24, 2014

(At my small café, I am the only waitress who will work Sundays. Now I know why. One guy, who is apparently a regular as he knows the boss, comes in. He seems cheerful enough and I give him my usual smile and politeness as I process his order, which is simply a tea to go. As I am making the drink, he comes up behind me and mutters.)

Customer: “I’d love to f***you.”

(I honestly have no idea what to say, so I give him his drink and move to the back of the kitchen to start washing the plates and cutlery. He finally leaves.)

Me: *to Boss* “That customer just said he’d love to f*** me!”

Boss: “What?! Just wait until he comes back again!”

(The following week she processed his order herself.)

Customer: “So, where is [My Name] today?”

Boss: “I don’t feel it is right to submit her to such inappropriate behavior from a customer who is at least three times her age.”

(His embarrassment at the other customers staring was worth it.)

1 Thumbs
1,780
VOTES

A Few Planets Short Of A Solar System

| Cartersville, GA, USA | Right | April 24, 2014

(I work in the administrative offices of a museum. One of my job duties is to answer the phone. The following call takes place one afternoon.)

Me: “Good afternoon, [Museum]. May I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to sign up for the astronomy workshop.”

Me: “Are you a member?”

Caller: “No, but I want to be. How much does it cost?”

Me: “There are different levels…”

(I explain the different levels of membership and prices.)

Me: “If you join today, I can give you the member price of $10 for the workshop and book your spot. If you are unable to join today, I will have to wait until the advance member registration is over and the cost will be $25.”

Caller: “I guess I need the family membership to cover my daughter and my mother. Well, she’s really not my mother but the nursing home was going to throw her out on the street…”

(She tells me a lengthy story about how a woman who isn’t her mother came to live in her home.)

Caller: “But I don’t have $95 to pay for it. I really want to come!”

(At this point she begins sobbing hysterically because she wants to come to the workshop, but we are only accepting member reservations at the moment.)

Caller: “I come and sit in your parking lot on the weekends and watch the happy expressions of people who are leaving your museum, wishing I could go in. Sometimes I will come and walk amongst the trees and think about what is going on inside the museum.”

(At this point, I’m a little creeped out but I try to help her because I feel a little sorry for her.)

Me: “I think it would be okay to make an exception for you and let you sign up, and even give you the member price.”

Caller: “Oh, thank you. Thank you. I will come see you next time I come to walk among the trees.”

(She never showed up for the workshop. I guess she got tired of walking among the trees.)

1 Thumbs
1,031
VOTES
Page 1,735/3,936First...1,7331,7341,7351,7361,737...Last
« Previous
Next »