Yukon Freeze It, Part 3

| Niagara, ON, Canada | Canada, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(I’m about 10 years old. I’m coming out of a store, when a very obvious tourist couple confronts me. They have a kayak strapped to the top of their truck, and some skidoos trailered to the back. It’s summer.)

Tourist: “You! You can you help me!”

Me: “Umm, okay. What’s wrong?”

Tourist: “Where can I go ice fishing?”

Me: “A lot of places, but it’s way too warm for that right now.”

Tourist: “We’re in Canada, correct?”

Me: “Yeah, but it’s summer time. Maybe if you were much further north you’d find ice.”

Tourist: “I drove up from the south; this is north.”

Me: “Umm, well you could take your kayak out to Lake Ontario to go regular fishing, but not ice fishing.”

(The tourist’s wife, with selective hearing issues, chimes in.)

Tourist’s Wife: “We can go ice fishing?!”

Me: *gives up* “Sure, just go down Lake Street, and you’ll find the lake.”

Tourist’s Wife: “Honey look, they name their streets after the places they go to! How cute!”

(I watch them drive off in the opposite direction.)

Related:
Yukon Freeze It, Part 2
Yukon Freeze It

Not Sue-ted To Modern Business

| BC, Canada | Crazy Requests

Customer: “Can you just crop the sides of this photo down for me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we’re not allowed to trim your property for any reason.”

Customer: “Not even if I sign a waiver?”

Me: “Unfortunately we’re no longer able to offer this service at all, since we’ve had customers try to sue us in spite of signing a waiver.”

Customer: “Well I’d sue you too, if you ruined my picture.”

Me: “…that’s precisely why we no longer offer that service.”

Customer: “Oh… right…”

What Your Country Can Do For You

| Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Military

(I’m with my dad, who is an army vet, and three of my friends. My family has no money right now, so my friends are paying.)

Waiter: “Here’s your bill. The couple over there paid for $50.”

Paying Friend: “What?”

Me: “What?”

Waiter: “They didn’t tell you?”

My Dad: “No, they didn’t.”

Waiter: “They saw your vet hat, and said that they’ll pay for $50.”

Me: “Faith in humanity is über restored!”

(To that couple who paid for most of our meal, thank you. Your actions did more than you know for not just my family, but my friends as well. You are saints among men.)