A Storm Of Protest

| Seattle, WA, USA | Uncategorized

(I work at a call center for a large online distributor of high-end lighting.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [company], this is [name]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Hi, I was wondering where my shipment was.”

Me: “Okay, if you give me your order number, I can check on that for you.”

Customer: “I don’t have my d*** order number! Can’t you just look it up by my name?”

Me: “Unfortunately, since we have customers all over the country, I can’t look you up by just your name. I can try your email address, however.”

Customer: “Oh, okay! It’s [email].”

Me: “Okay, give me just a moment to pull that up.”

Customer: “Thanks. I’m really frustrated because this d*** thing was supposed to arrive yesterday and it’s still not here yet.”

(I pull up her order. The tracking information for her shipment says that it is being delayed because of the hurricane. I check her information: she is located in New York, a few miles outside of New York City.)

Me: “I’m sorry for the delay in shipment, but it seems that delivery to your area is on hold because of the hurricane.”

Customer: “What? The hurricane was last night. Is my furniture coming today?”

Me: “Unfortunately, the shipping company is going to have a hard time getting to your area because of the hurricane.”

Customer: “What the f***?! How is that my problem? I paid for the d*** furniture, and I want it to be delivered on time!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but have you seen the news for your area?”

Customer: “Well, duh! Everyone’s talking about the d*** hurricane!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, would you want to be out driving right now?”

Customer: “Of course not! It’s awful out there!”

Me: “But you expect the delivery company to be able to get to you?”

Customer: *silence*

Me: “They will be out for delivery as soon as everything is cleaned up.”

Customer: *click*

Editor’s note: Although this story tells the lighter side of things, the devastation caused by Sandy is very serious. Click here to visit FEMA’s dedicated Sandy page and learn how you can donate and volunteer.

Let’s Hope He Doesn’t Still Jump On The Bed

| TN, USA | Family & Kids, Liars & Scammers

(I work in a call center doing reservations for a sizable hotel chain. Our system is set up to not only put in the number of adults but the number and age of children as well.)

Me: “Okay, so how many adults and children will be in the room?”

Caller: “Well, it depends what age you consider a child.”

Me: “Well, I can put them in as a child, and if they’re too old, my system will adjust them to an adult automatically.”

Caller: “Okay, then. Two adults and one child.”

Me: “And the age of the child, please?”

Caller: “43.”

You’re Hot And Your Cold You’re Yes And You’re No, Part 2

| Okemos, MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(My coworker is taking drive-thru orders, and I’m filling them.)

Coworker: “Thank you for choosing [cafe]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’d like a large iced mocha latte, please.”

Coworker: “Your total is [total]. Please pull forward.”

(The customer is given the drink, but sends it back through the window.)

Customer: “This isn’t what I wanted. I wanted the hot mocha latte.”

Coworker: “Well, you did say the iced mocha latte. We’ll fix it for you though.”

Customer: “Oh. So when you say iced, it doesn’t mean the hot one?”

Related:
You’re Hot And Your Cold You’re Yes And You’re No

When Your Day Hits A High Note

| Canada | Awesome Customers, Musical Mayhem, Top

(I have just calmly resolved the issue with an order.)

Caller: “Can I sing for you?”

Me: *not knowing what to expect* “Sure, why not?”

(Surprisingly, the caller proceeded to sing the most beautiful rendition of ‘Smile’ by Nat King Cole. It was so beautiful, I even asked a coworker to come over and listen with me. When the customer was done crooning, I had goosebumps. This definitely made my week and made me SMILE!)

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Pretty Fly For A Strange Guy

| Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, look what I found in my drink.”

(He holds a dead fly up. I have no idea how it got in his drink, but I’m mortified.)

Me: “Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry! Let me find my manager for you.”

Customer: “Nah, it’s okay. I drank it all and it’s no big deal.” *laughs*

Me: “That’s really nice of you, sir, but I do want to tell my manager about it. This sort of thing is not supposed to happen.”

(The customer keeps holding the fly in his hand. I go looking for my manager but can’t find him. I don’t want to keep the customer waiting for their check forever, so I go back to the table.)

Me: “I’m so sorry, I couldn’t find him, but as soon as I see him I’ll make sure to tell him about this. But here’s a coupon for your next visit, and I took the drinks off your check.”

Customer: *smiling* “Thanks! But really, it’s no big deal. It’s kind of funny. Hey, look who’s not dead after all?” *holds up the fly, which is now squirming* “Ain’t he cute?”

(He suddenly smashes the fly on the table, wipes his now fly-gut covered hand on my apron, and leaves.)

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