A Sense Of Inflaming Doom

| Las Vegas, NV, USA | Food & Drink

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. What would you like to order today?”

Customer: “I need to order half a dozen cinnamon raisin bagels.”

Me: “Sure, I will get that for you.”

Customer: “Just so you know, they have to be slightly burned, but not too slightly burned. They cannot look perfect without a small burn. Otherwise, I will freak out and have a bad day!”

(I search through the cinnamon raisin bagels for those with the slightest burn. Thinking this should be satisfactory, I present them to her for inspection.)

Customer: “They are too burned! You ruined my day! I warned you! I demand to see your manager!”

Less Is More, More Or Less, Part 2

| Florida, USA | Money

Me: “Your total is $24.30 (before tax).”

Customer: “I want to use my coupon.”

(The coupon is for $10 off a purchase of $25 or more.)

Me: “Your total is $24.30, so you need to spend $.70 more to use that coupon.”

Customer: “What do I do?”

Me: “You could just add something.”

Customer: “But I don’t need anything!”

(Despite my attempts to help her save money, the customer continued to refuse to add anything. So, what did she do? She paid the full price and left, oblivious to the fact she could have saved over $10 by spending just $0.70 more.)

Related:
Less Is More, More Or Less

Don’t Know Thy Enemy

| San Diego, CA, USA | Uncategorized

(Note: I never forget a face, ever. A man walks into my bank, straight to my desk. He has a look on his face as if he knows exactly who I am. However, I have never seen him before in my life.)

Man:*smiles and sits down at my desk* “Your mother is a dirty w****.”

Me: “E-e-excuse me?!”

Man: “You heard me. A dirty, nasty w****.”

Me: “Sir, first of all, I am certain you don’t know my mother, since she’s dead. Second, you need to leave right now for speaking like that.”

Man: “Wait, is this [competitor]?”

Me: “No, no it’s not. Please leave.”

Man: *quickly leaves*

No Deposits, Just Withdrawals

| Seattle, WA, USA | Health & Body, Top

(A customer approaches the teller window with a withdrawal ticket.)

Me: “Hi there! Withdrawal today?”

(The customer seems taken aback.)

Customer: “What?!”

Me: “You’re taking out cash, right?”

Customer: “Oh, yes. I thought you knew about my drug problem!”

Treating Workers Like Garbage

| Knoxville, TN, USA | Food & Drink

(I am working the concessions stand when a young woman and her small daughter approach my register.)

Me: “Hi! Welcome to [theater]. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “I’ll take a medium popcorn and drink, please.”

(The customer pays and I hand her the popcorn and drink.)

Customer: “Hey, do you have a trash can back there?”

Me: “Absolutely!”

(I hold out my hand for the trash, expecting it to be something innocuous.)

Daughter: *spits her gum out in my hand, drool and all*

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