The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

| NY, USA | Right | December 31, 2013

(I’m standing behind a nice old lady who is checking out at the grocery store.)

Lady: “You look like you both need a smile. This is for you!”

(She hands the cashier a few pieces of Christmas themed candy, and gives one to me.)

Cashier: “Oh, thank you! Happy Holidays!”

Lady: “Oh, it’s okay. You can say ‘Merry Christmas’ to me. I know you want to.”

Cashier: “Actually, I’m Jewish—”

Lady: “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to offend you. Oh, yes! Feliz Navidad to you!”

(The cashier and I both just smiled, because regardless of what you call it, she still had the best seasonal spirit!)

1 Thumbs
1,975
VOTES

These Customers Come But Once A Year

| Atlanta, GA, USA | Right | December 31, 2013

(The restaurant I work at is closed Thanksgiving and Christmas, and has been doing so for 20 years. Every year, we get at least one call the day after each complaining. It is December 26th.)

Caller: “Hi. I tried coming to your restaurant yesterday but the lights were all out, the doors were locked, and nobody answered your phones!”

Me: “We were closed yesterday.”

Caller: “But you guys are never closed on Christmas!”

Me: “Sir, we’ve been closed on Christmas and Thanksgiving every year since we opened.”

Caller: “Liar! I DEMAND to speak to your manager!”

Me: “Sir, I am currently the only one in right now. I can give you the owner’s number if you like.”

Caller: “NO! I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER! I WANT A MANAGER!”

Me: “I am the manager on duty. If you call back at about 11, the mid-shift manager will be in and you can speak with him if you don’t want to speak to me.”

Caller: “I want free food because you people locked the doors and wouldn’t let me in yesterday!”

Me: “Sir, I can’t give you free food because you came by on one of the two days of the year we are closed.”

Caller: “Why the h*** not?”

Me: “Do you work somewhere that closes on certain days?”

Caller: “Yeah! I work for the bank!”

Me: “So, if I called in on a Monday and demanded free services because I had come by the Sunday before and you were closed, what would you do?”

Caller: “I would laugh at you and hang up.”

Me: “Well, then, I guess that’s as good a plan as any.”

(I laugh at him and hang up.)

1 Thumbs
3,440
VOTES

Should Have Saved The Date In Their Advent Calendar

| OH, USA | Right | December 30, 2013

Me: “Hi, ma’am. Welcome to [Toy Store]. Can I help you find anything?”

Customer: “Yeah. Do you guys still sell Advent calendars here?”

(It’s December 10th, halfway through Advent.)

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We’ve been out of Advent calendars since mid-November. We didn’t even have any for Black Friday, unfortunately.”

Customer: “So you don’t have any?”

Me: “No. But we do them every year, so there’s already next year.”

Customer: “Ah, shoot. I was really looking forward to getting one for the kids.”

Me: “Yeah. With something like that I always recommend getting them as early as possible. Definitely before December.”

Customer: “When is the next time you’ll be getting them in?”

Me: “Next September.”

Preorder Disorder

| Wichita, KS, USA | Right | December 30, 2013

(It is mid December. I am purchasing Christmas gifts for my niece and nephew. I have just found out from their father that they want a specific toy which has been popular. A local big-box store has a sale on them. I order online and enter the store on my lunch break to pick them up.)

Employee: “Here are your items. Please make sure they are what you ordered online.”

(I pick up the toys and inspect them. As I am looking at the one for my niece, a customer appears from nowhere and attempts to snatch the toy from my hands.)

Customer: “Hey! That’s the toy I have been looking for! They are out of stock on the shelf. I need to buy it now!”

(The cashier takes toy from me so the customer will stop grabbing for it.)

Cashier: “Madam, he has already purchased this online and is picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

Customer: “No! I was here first and that toy should be mine! He just came and you gave it to him. He hasn’t even paid! He’s cheating! He cut in line!”

Cashier: “Please calm down. I’m sure we can order one or find you one at another store. He has already purchased this one so we cannot sell it to you.”

Customer: “LIAR! He’s a cheater and you are too! Get me your manager now so I can buy this toy for my baby!”

(At this point the customer is yelling loudly and has drawn the attention of the entire front of the store. The manager is already on his way over.)

Manager: “Madam, I’m sorry for the upset. What is the problem?”

Customer: “Your employee is cheating! This man just came in the store and she is handing him the toy that I have been looking for. He hasn’t even paid for it. I demand you sell me this toy and not give it to this cheater!”

Manager: “I’m sorry but he has ordered this online and is now picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

(In the meantime, the cashier has placed the toys in a bag and quietly hands them to me while waving for me to go. I hurry towards the door.)

Customer: *starts trying to get past the manager* “There he goes! He is stealing my baby’s toy! He cut in line and he’s a CHEATER! A CHEATER!”

(I hurry out the door hearing her screams as I hurry to my car. I hope she calmed down and got her toy. I hadn’t seen that kind of crazy since I last dared to go to a Black Friday sale.)

1 Thumbs
2,072
VOTES

He’s Furbious

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Right | December 30, 2013

(I am working the register in the store where we sell electronics including toys, like Furbies, robot dogs, etc. A scruffy-looking customer comes in, followed moments later by twenty-something woman and her boyfriend. The couple begin looking at tablets, when the woman spots our Furbies.)

Woman: “Oh look, Furbies. They’re so cute! These must be new ones. They have digital eyes! They’re smaller than mine, too. Hey, Furby!”

(She starts to have a silly conversation with the Furby. Her genuine excitement is pretty adorable. I exchange an appreciative smile with her boyfriend as she chatters away. Suddenly, the scruffy customer storms over to them and grabs the Furby, throwing it hard to the ground. I come running.)

Boyfriend: “What the h*** are you doing?!”

Me: “Excuse me. If that Furby is broken, I’ll need you to pay for the damage. Now, please back off.”

Scruffy Customer: *aiming abuse at the woman* “F*** the lot of you! She was doing my head in. The stupid little b**** is acting like a kid. Are you special?! Did you get out early from your special school, *****? People like you f*** off! I f****** hate people like you when I’m trying to f****** buy stuff!”

(The woman is clearly speechless and her eyes are watering. Her boyfriend is livid and yells at the guy. I quickly pick up the Furby to check it’s not broken. The guy starts flailing his arms and tells the boyfriend that he’s going to ‘do him in.’)

Me: “Get out now, mate. You’ve threatened violence to my customers, and us three are witnesses. I’ll call the police right now. Leave.”

Scruffy Customer: “Aye. Well, **** you too you, cow. Both you f***s!”

(The boyfriend suddenly grabs the scruffy customer by the collar and turfs him out of the shop. The scruffy customer clearly gets a fright at the boyfriend’s strength and runs for it, cursing all the way down the street.)

Me: “I’m so sorry about that guy. What a moron. Are you guys okay?”

(The woman nods, crying a little, and her boyfriend cuddles her.)

Boyfriend: “I couldn’t take any more of that. She has Asperger’s, and sometimes can seem a bit childish to people who don’t know her. Thanks for trying to help.”

Me: “Ah. No problem. I hate seeing anyone get hassled by an idiot like him. Hey, I’m going to log this Furby as being smashed by a customer. I’d have to bin it, so you can just take it if you want.”

Woman: “Oh, no. That’s okay. I don’t want you to get in trouble. There are security cameras in here and you could get into bother for being seen doing that.”

Me: “Nah. My boss is more like a mate. He’d understand if it came up. Trust me. Here. It sounds like you struck a bond with it, anyway!”

(We all laugh and chat for a little while longer before they leave with their new Furby. Two days later I came in to work to find a Christmas card had been left for me, by them, as well as a £15 gift card with a note saying my lunch was on them for being so nice!)

1 Thumbs
2,893
VOTES
Page 1,729/3,803First...1,7271,7281,7291,7301,731...Last