How To Deflate The Bag

| IL, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Top

(I work in the produce section of a grocery store. I have just witnessed a customer pretty much destroy our bagged-salad section. The customer is just pulling bags out of their holders and dropping them where ever, and quite obviously on purpose. The customer has no idea I’ve been watching her. After she stops her destruction, I head over to put it back together. The customer comes back, and starts a conversation.)

Customer: “It’s just a shame that someone would do that to you! I can’t believe some people!”

Me: “Bah, it’s not really a big deal.”

Customer: “…not really a big deal?”

Me: “No, not at all. I look at it this way: If a customer has to get their kicks by coming into this grocery store and trying to get a rise out of the employees by messing up a portion of the store, then that customer’s life is obviously more pathetic than mine.”

Customer: *open mouthed stare*

Me: “So, was there anything else you needed tonight?”

Customer: “No… thanks…”

A Directionless Conversation, Part 2

| Canada | Extra Stupid, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

(We are a tourist park, and have a café which is situated just outside so that people can use it without paying to go in. The café is right next door to the entrance; you have to walk past it to come in.)

Customer: “Is there a café here?”

Me: “Yes, there is. It’s just next door.”

Customer: “Where?”

Me: “Right next door.”

Customer: *confused* “Next door?”

Me: “Yes, it’s the building next to this one.”

Customer: “So, we have to go out?”

Me: “Yes. You go out of this building, and it’s in the only other one.”

Customer: “So, it’s out of here and next door.?”

Me: “Yes. Go out of here, and look right. You’ll see it.”

(The customer walks out, looking confused.)

Coworker: “What’s the betting she’ll get lost?”

Related:
A Directionless Conversation

Not Interstate Of Mind

| MA, USA | Extra Stupid, Transportation

Me: “Hello, [store name].”

Customer: “Are you open today?”

Me: “Yes, we’re open until 6 pm.”

Customer: “Can you tell me how to get there?”

Me: “Oh sure, it’s fairly easy. Take I-495 to [exit], go left at the end of the exit ramp, go left at the first light, and we’re just up the hill; you’ll see the sign.”

Customer: “What? I don’t understand.”

Me: “Okay, start out on I-495, and—”

Customer: “What’s that?”

Me: “The… highway? Interstate 495?”

Customer: “How do I get to that?”

Me: “Where are you now?”

Customer: “That doesn’t matter; how do I get to that highway?”

Me: “Well, it depends where you are. What town are you in?”

Customer: “No, just tell me how to get to that highway!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t unless I know where you’re starting from!”

Customer: “Never mind, you’re no help! I may or may not come in later!”