The Mother Of Bad Pickup Lines

| FL, USA | Right | April 29, 2014

(I’m cleaning behind the registers alone when a customer comes up to the counter. He looks about 30 and is a little unkempt looking. I’m 18. He’s been staring at me and overall been acting creepy and talking about how he can’t buy more shoes or socks because his mother won’t let him. Finally at the end of the transaction, this happens:)

Customer: “You know… I think you’re very attractive… Would you, maybe.. Like to go out some time?”

Me: “Thank you. That’s very sweet but I’m still in high school.”

Customer: “Oh, what grade?”

Me: “12.”

Customer: “I don’t mind.”

Me: “Maybe another time, but thank you.”

(He then proceeds to ask again and I decline a second time.)

Customer: “So, where do you live?”

Me: “Oh, around here.”

Customer: “Well I live in [retirement apartment complex].”

(I assume this means he lives with his mother. He then proceeds to give me his email address and name on a post it note which I accept because at that point I just wanted him out. He’s been seen in the shopping centre near my store but hasn’t come back yet. Thank god!)

Doing Them A Flavor Favor

, | Ireland | Right | April 29, 2014

(I work as a waitress and am waiting on a table of a really nice family with three kids. It is an unusually hot day and each of the children has one of those really tall, exaggerated slushies with in-built straws.)

Me: “Where did you get those slushies? They look pretty cool!”

Father: “Oh, just next door.”

Me: “Oh, I didn’t realize they sold them. I’ll have to get one next time I’m in. It’s been so hot recently.”

Father: “What’s your favourite flavour?”

Me: “I don’t know. All of them, I guess! So, are you guys ready to order?”

(I proceed to take their order. Their food is served and they have their meal, pay, and leave with no hassle or problems and nice chit chat all the way through. They’ve left after their meal for about 20 minutes when the father enters back in. I’m behind the bar at this point.)

Father: “Hey, I got you this. It is really hot today!” *hands me one of the slushies, with all the flavours mixed together*

Me: “Oh, thank you!”

(He smiled and walked out again. It made my day! Sometimes, the customer is the good guy!)

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Finished The Transaction At Break-Neck Speed

, | NY, USA | Right | April 29, 2014

(I am fresh out of high school. I work at a popular fast food chain and my long-term partner lives about an hour away. I have just returned from a short vacation, during which I spent my time at her house. As we didn’t see each other often we had to make the most of our time together. A customer in his 50s, male, is at my counter.)

Customer: “You’ve been a naughty girl.”

Me: “… Excuse me?”

Customer: “You’ve been very naughty.” *points at me*

Me: “Uh… what?”

Customer: “The marks on your neck.”

Me: *instinctively pull up my collar, embarrassed*

Customer: “That’s all right. Seems like you’ve got a lucky boy on your hands.” *winks*

Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum, Part 2

| FL, USA | Right | April 29, 2014

(It is a Friday late afternoon. I am mechanically ringing up sales adding “have a nice weekend” to my normal “here’s your receipt” spiel. I realized after saying this to a male customer that he is buying several high-quantity boxes of condoms. I also remember he had a work shirt on with his name sewn on it. I stepped into the pharmacy and talk to my coworkers.)

Me: “Oh, my God!”

Coworker: “What is it?”

Me: “I just told a customer to have a good weekend, before noticing he was buying nothing but condoms! He obviously has plans to do so!”

(About thirty minutes later the phone rings, and the pharmacist picks it up.)

Coworker: “[My Name], you have a phone call.”

(I answer.)

Caller: “Hi, I’m [Customer With Named Shirt]. I’m calling because I want to go out with you this weekend!”

(Um, that would be ‘NO,’ creepy condom dude!)

 

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Some Lines Get Older Every Day

| Canastota, NY, USA | Right | April 29, 2014

(I’m working at a gas station and am currently ringing out a guy that appears to be in his 60s. I am 18.)

Customer: *grabbing my hand* “Would you like to get a pop with me?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t drink soda.”

Customer: “How about a coffee?”

Me: “Sorry, I’m too young for you.”

Customer: “Oh, come on. Age is just a number and coffee doesn’t mean anything.”

Me: “No, thank you.”

(He still has not given me back my hand yet.)

Customer: “Oh, come on.”

Me: *continuing with the transaction* That’ll be [amount].”

Customer: “So what do you say?”

Me: “Sorry, no.”

Customer: “How about we leave it as a ‘maybe?'”

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