Order(s) Out Of Disorder, Part 2

| PA, USA | Right | December 28, 2013

(I work at a drive-in style restaurant that also takes call-in orders. It’s store policy to ask for the customer’s name before ending the call, because we sometimes get more than one call-in order at a time.)

Me: “Hello. How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Pick-up.”

Me: “Okay. Not a problem!”

(I check the register, and I see that we have three call-in orders at the moment.)

Me: “What was the name for that order?”

Customer: “I don’t know! I didn’t call it in!”

Me: “Well, we have several call-in orders right now so I’ll need some information to make sure you get the right one. What food was on the order?”

Customer: “How the h*** should I know what she ordered?!”

Me: “Okay… So, you don’t know the name and you don’t know what the order was for?”

Customer: “Yeah, whatever! Now give me my food!”

Me: “Without the name or the order, I have no way of knowing which one is yours. You’ll either have to call and ask or wait for all the other orders to be picked up first because I can’t just guess and risk giving out someone else’s food to the wrong person.”

Customer: “WELL THAT IS JUST STUPID!”

Related:
Order(s) Out Of Disorder

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With A Side Order Of Hypocrisy

| ID, USA | Right | December 28, 2013

(It’s my first night shift at my new job. Two customers come in at around 9 pm.)

Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

Customer #1: “Can I have a chicken sandwich?”

Customer #2: “Ugh. Don’t do that! All the food here is crap! It’s CRAP! You’ll get FAT!”

Me: *awkwardly* “So… would you like—”

Customer #2: “It isn’t real food here, anyway. It’s all processed and fake!”

Customer #1: “Are you getting something or not?”

Customer #2: “Yeah.” *to me* “Gimme two double cheeseburgers and a medium fry.”

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Feeding The Baby And The Trolls

| Right | December 28, 2013

Post Credit Marvels

| Rochester, NY, USA | Right | December 27, 2013

(The credits are rolling after “Thor: The Dark World.” One post-credits scene has already played, but there has been word that there is another. Half of the theater seems to be unaware and begins filing out. The patron in front of me begins to shout.)

Patron: “There’s one more!”

(People continue filing out.)

Patron’s Friend: “That was my ear!”

Patron: “Well, get your ear out of the way! Really, there’s one more!”

(Those who have decided to leave continue to do so.)

Patron: “Seriously, I’m not Loki! There’s ONE MORE!”

(People are still leaving.)

Patron: “ENJOY IT ON YOUTUBE!”

(Sure enough, there is one more cut scene after the credits. Sir, thank you for your valiant efforts to warn the masses!)

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Only Slipping On The Truth

| New York, NY, USA | Right | December 27, 2013

(It is about 11 pm in a grocery store. I am the supervisor on duty. It is just me, cleaning the customer service counter, and one cashier working a register. An elderly customer ambles up to the checkout lane.)

Cashier: “Hey, ma’am. How are you tonight?”

Customer: “Oh, I’m just- AHHHHHHHH!” *waves her arms dramatically and hops backwards.* “Oh, my gosh, honey. There’s a HUGE puddle of water there! Oh, I slipped. I think I hurt something! Oh, my hip!”

Cashier: “Really? Are you okay?”

Customer: “Oww, my hip! Oh, I think I strained something! Get me your manager right now!”

(The cashier pages the manager to the register.)

Manager: “Oh, my goodness, ma’am. What happened?!”

Customer: “There was a huge puddle of water! I slipped and I hurt my back! Oh, gosh. It hurts!”

Manager: *to cashier, who is wiping the floor with paper towels that are remaining suspiciously dry* “Ring up her groceries for me, please.” *to the customer* “Here, ma’am. Have a seat. Please, tell me exactly what happened.”

Customer: “Oh, there was all this water, and I slipped like this.”

(The customer makes exaggerated lunges, trying to demonstrate how she fell.)

Customer: “Oh, it was awful. My hip hurts! Oh, I threw out my back! Oh, it hurts!”

(The customer makes more movements an injured person would be quite incapable of making.)

Customer: “I’ll be contacting my lawyer!”

Manager: “I see. Here’s my store and my personal information. Please give me yours as well, and we’ll be in touch. I’m terribly sorry about this. I hope you make it home alright.”

(The customer ambles out to her car, shouting ‘oh, my back!’ the entire way.)

Manager: “I need written statements from both of you. Good thing we have this on camera.”

Cashier: “Do you think she’ll sue?”

Manager: “I hope so. I’m putting her a** in jail if she does.”

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