Creepy Customers Themed Of The Month Roundup

| Not Always Right | Right | May 11, 2014

Creepy Customers Themed Of The Month Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

  1. Fortune Favors The Foretold (1,590 thumbs up)
  2. Like A Dog After A Bone (1,862 thumbs up)
  3. Stripped Of His Confidence (1,354 thumbs up)
  4. They Have Incompatible Operating Systems (1,400 thumbs up)
  5. This Caller Has No Hang Ups (1,445 thumbs up)

PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

A Trashy Pick Up Line

, | Canada | Right | May 11, 2014

(I am in my teens, taking out the garbage. One of our regular customers, an elderly man who is a well-known jokester, comes up to me at the end of his meal. I’m switching out the trash bag.)

Elderly Man: “What are you doing?”

Me: “Taking out the trash.”

Elderly Man: “Well, I’m trash. Can you take me out?”

(I laugh into the garbage can.)

Me: “I’m afraid I can’t, but I’ll have to remember that one. It’s good!”

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Not What The Doctor Ordered

| MO, USA | Right | May 10, 2014

(In one week we are hosting a benefit dinner to set up a scholarship fund helping underprivileged kids go to summer camp. It is my job to take reservations, which have been closed for a week. I take a phone call.)

Me: “[Business]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes. This is Doctor [Name]. I would like three tickets to the dinner.”

Me: “Well, unfortunately ticket sales closed a week ago. We had to give final numbers to the caterer and—”

Customer: “No, you don’t understand. I’m a doctor and I know the speaker. She and my daughter went to college together.”

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but the speaker knew when ticket sales closed and she never mentioned—”

Customer: “But I’m a doctor! And I know the speaker!”

Me: “Congratulations, ma’am. But we’ve turned the numbers in—”

Customer: “You’ll just have to tell them you have three more guests. What time is the dinner? We will be coming.”

Me: “I can’t—”

Customer: “You will tell them. I know the speaker.”

Me: *sigh* “I will talk to our director and see what I can do but—”

Customer: “Good. My name is Doctor [Name] and I know the speaker.”

(The caller proceeds to give me all of her contact information. I talk to my boss a few hours later and she reluctantly agrees to sell tickets to the woman because we ordered more meals than necessary for this exact reason. I am getting ready to call the woman back when the phone rings and I answer it.)

Customer: “This is Doctor [Name] and you said you would talk to your— whoever it is —and make sure we get tickets. We will be coming. I know the speaker.”

Me: *sigh* “Yes, ma’am. We have extra plates available and we have your name on the reservation list for three tickets.”

Customer: “Good. See, this is how you treat a doctor. Now, what is my discount for knowing the speaker?”

Me: “You don’t get a discount.”

Customer: “Of course I do; I’m a doctor and I know the speaker.”

Me: “Ma’am, everyone pays the same ticket price. We have everyone from doctors, engineers, nurses, janitors, and camp counselors coming to this dinner and they all reserved their seats before the deadline and are all paying the same ticket price. Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Ugh! Fine! But I won’t give you people a dime more for whatever it is you’re doing, you hear me?”

Me: “Yes, doctor.”

(She was just as rude and egotistical when I met her in person, still making sure to let me know she was a doctor and more important than anyone. And she made good on her promise to not give anything to the scholarship fund for children.)

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Total Nincompoop

| Russellville, AR, USA | Right | May 10, 2014

(I work in a restaurant as a teenager. The restroom is crowded and I’m in a stall when all leave except two young girls. Girl #1 is in a stall and Girl #2 is waiting by the sinks.)

Girl #1: “Is everyone gone?”

Girl #2: *apparently hasn’t noticed me* “Yeah, they left.”

Girl #1: “Oh good. Now I can poop.”

(I take that as my cue to flush and wash my hands, trying not to laugh at the sudden awkward silence. As I open the door to leave I say:)

Me: “Okay. Now you can poop.”

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The Return Of The Ninja

| NH, USA | Right | May 9, 2014

(I have a 14-hour shift because a friend of mine is out sick as she is having surgery. It’s about eight hours into the day, and a customer comes in, with something in a paper bag and a giant scowl on her face.)

Me: “Hello, Ma’am. How may I help you today?”

Guest: “Yes. I’d like to return this, please? Here’s my receipt, and I want the full amount back.”

Me: “Yes, Ma’am. I’ll do what I can.”

(I go to scan the receipt, and it’s declined, because she’s had the items for more than 90 days. We aren’t allowed to return things over that limit without a supervisor’s approval.)

Me: “I’m very sorry ma’am, but my system is showing me that I can’t return these, due to the fact you purchased them more than 90 days ago.”

Guest: “That’s f****** stupid! I demand to speak with your supervisor! I work in retail, and we return everything the guest gives us!”

(I look over, and see my supervisor is busy dealing with another customer.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. If you’d just wait right over here for a moment, I’m sure he’ll be with you very shortly.”

Guest: “No! I’ll not be treated this way!”

(She takes out her purse, and slams her bag down on the guest services counter, throwing her store card and three gift cards at my face. I catch one, and dodge the others.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to leave, please. We do not allow that kind of behavior here. I’m very sorry for any inconvenience.”

Guest: “You know what? You’re simply a stupid little s*** with no chance at ever being successful, or pretty!” *storms out*

Customer In Line Behind Her: “Well, I never! Miss, you are beautiful, very kind, and I’m in awe of your ninja skills!”

Me: “Thank you, ma’am. I appreciate it!”

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