Diolch yn fawr Very Much

| Porthmadog, Wales, UK | Awesome Workers, Bigotry, Language & Words, Top

(I am a customer in a store, queuing at a till being worked at by my friend. I always try to be polite, and if I see a customer has more groceries than me, or looks busier than me, or is elderly, I always offer them to take the place ahead of me when it’s my turn next at the checkout. I live in a Welsh-speaking area so normally ask in Welsh first, then repeat in English if the other person does not understand.)

Me: *in Welsh* “Hello, sir. Would you like to go next to the till? I don’t mind waiting.”

Elderly gentleman: *in English* “DID YOU JUST SWEAR AT ME?”

Me: *in English* “Not at all, I was simply trying t—”

Elderly gentleman: “I can’t stand you young Welsh people. You think that because you have your own private little language that you can just swear and joke about us tourists. I’ll tell you what, missy, I bet you don’t have a job, you’re probably on benefits. The only people who have jobs around here are here to support tourists like me, who come here out of the kindness of our hearts to inject some money into your miserable, pathetic little local economy. I’ll not have it! I deserve better!”

(Hearing this, my friend and coworker speaks up in my defense.)

Coworker: “Actually, sir, she was just asking if you’d like to go next in the queue. Because this isn’t the regular tourist season, she was asking in Welsh. And for your information, she is also English. She’s been learning since she got here to Wales as she thinks it is important to preserve the local heritage. Now, will you take advantage of this girl’s generous offer to go first and let everyone else get on with their day, or will I call a manager and ask you to leave the store owing to your somewhat racist behaviour?”

(The customer goes red, and slides in front of me in the queue. My coworker would not finish his transaction until she had taught him to say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ in Welsh.)

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13 Is Lucky For Some

| NSW, Australia | Awesome Customers, Top

(The night before was incredibly busy, and we were very short-staffed. One group of customers has had their leader buy all the tickets while the individuals buy their confectionery. The next day, one of the customers from the group walks up to the ticket box.)

Customer: “Hi, I was in here last night with a group of 13 kids.”

Manager: “Yes, I remember. It was busy, wasn’t it?”

Customer: “Sure was. In fact, it wasn’t until after the movie had finished that we realised we’d purchased only 12 tickets. The usher didn’t realise as we passed through, but I’d really like to pay for the extra ticket now…”

(We processed the transaction, and the customer happily went on his way. Our staff were so impressed with the display of integrity, they were in good spirits for the rest of the day. That group is welcome any time!)

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Death Of An Insurance Salesman

| ON, Canada | Crazy Requests

(I work for a very large insurance company. An angry client calls in with a thick foreign accent. Note that my trouble understanding her is making her aggravated.)

Client: “Why haven’t you paid me my insurance money?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I’m not really understanding the question. Could you clarify a little more for me?”

Client: “You must pay me the $100,000 for my insurance!”

Me: “Ma’am, you are the insured person on this policy. Who is it that has passed?”

Client: “No one passes! I need you to pay me my insurance.”

(This continues back and forth for five minutes.)

Me: “Ma’am, we can’t pay you the money from your life insurance policy for the same reason you cannot bury a man living in the USA in Canada.”

Client: “Why not?!”

Me: “Because you’re not dead.”

Sweet Injustice

| ON, Canada | Food & Drink

Customer: “I will have [very sweet] pie.”

Me: “Great. This pie is very sweet, and we recommend it with a scoop of ice cream for an extra dollar. Or, a glass of milk if you want.”

Customer: “No, just the pie is fine. I’m not paying an extra dollar.”

(Later, when they are paying…)

Customer: “Um, just so you know, that pie that I had was really sweet. I almost couldn’t eat it. You should really serve it with ice cream or a glass of milk of something!”

Re-Cycling DVDs

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Top, Wild & Unruly

(Our store releases new DVDs every Tuesday. A customer comes in on Wednesday, visibly angry.)

Customer: “What the h*** is wrong with your movies? This doesn’t work!”

(I open the case and discover that the brand new DVD is broken in several pieces, and has a large tire tread on the back.)

Me: “Sir, what happened? The DVD is completely destroyed!”

Customer: “I ran over it with my motorcycle. Why?”

Me: “…You ran over it…”

Customer: “I wanted to see if they still made them like they used to! Back in my day you couldn’t destroy things like this! I demand a refund!”

(He continues to yell and rant until my manager shows up. I explain what the story is, with the customer agreeing with me word for word on what happened. Finally, my manager speaks.)

Manager: *to the customer* “What are you, an idiot?”

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